So God Made a Mother Collection ➔

I’ve found myself feeling so resentful toward my husband lately. Resentful of the long hours he is working right now. Resentful that he’s never home, which leaves me alone with our three kids—ages seven, four, and one—24/7. All moms undoubtedly can relate to how mentally and physically exhausted I am at the end of every day.

Don’t misunderstand me—I am SO flipping grateful he has a good job and that he is a man of integrity who works so hard to support his family.

I’ve been especially grateful for him for the last almost five years since I’ve become a stay-at-home mom. Grateful that he agreed to let me hang up my hat as the breadwinner of the family and trade it in for an apron to become the homemaker of the family. I am grateful I GET to do this.

Anyone who’s made that transition knows it comes with many challenges.

One of those challenges is this resentment.

I want to explain it a little more. It started eating away at me. I feel like I am the one making all the sacrifices—my time, my body, my career, my sanity—and I keep all the feelings in. This is not healthy or productive.

I keep it in until it has started bubbling to the surface, threatening to ooze out in a most unattractive way: anger, harshness, a short-temper. You get the ugly picture.
To try to help myself through this, I’ve been reading an amazing devotional, because Jesus is always the answer. “Midnight Lullabies—Moments of Peace for Moms” is a great book for moms of any age or stage of motherhood. One of the chapters specifically talks about these seasons of sacrifice.

It’s true that I tend to think in terms of “I”. But after reading this specific chapter, I shifted my focus to my husband, and to “we”.

It is a secret piece of advice that is no longer a secret. And it has changed everything.

I know my husband makes so many sacrifices, too. He is such a good dad. I know he wants to be home more. But I had never thought about the amount of trust it takes for him to leave me at home with the kids every day.

He trusts that I am raising them with our shared values. He is trusting me to teach them, nurture them, discipline them, help them to know Jesus, and show them enough love for the both of us during all the long hours he is away.

So, Husband, thank you for trusting me. Thank you for trusting me to take care of things at home so you can focus on things at work. I know it can’t be easy to walk out that door each morning, with one or more kids clinging to you, asking for one more hug, one more kiss.

I know it can’t be easy to be gone for so much of every day, watching our life at home through the pictures I text to you. We are outside, we bake, we go on picnics, we nap, we go to the park and the pool. We do chores and go on adventures. All while you are working.

Thank you for trusting me to teach them so many of life’s lessons while you are away. It takes a lot of confidence in your partner to leave each day knowing that the character of your kids is, many days, mostly up to me.

So much falls on me. So many daily decisions are on my shoulders. It’s a huge responsibility. And instead of feeling so much resentfulness, I feel mostly gratitude now.

This has changed so much in my marriage.

Instead of meeting my husband at the door with anger, I meet him with a tired smile and a, “How was your day?”

Don’t get me wrong—I still occasionally feel that resentment and use exercise as an outlet for my stress. Raising kids is hard no matter what. But remembering the huge amount of trust that my husband has in me means there is a visible change in my attitude toward him, and friends, THAT matters and makes a difference.

Marriage takes work. Thankfully, there’s an app that can help! Lasting— the nation’s #1 relationship counseling app — provides accessible sessions designed to help you build a healthy marriage. Download and take Lasting’s free Relationship Health Assessment.

Recommendations in this post contain affiliate links. Her View From Home may receive a small commission if you choose to purchase.

You may also like:

Dear Husband, It’s Not Easy For Me to Admit, But I Need More Help

To My Husband: Thank You For Being A Great Man

Michaela Gasseling

I am a Christian mom, farmwife, La Leche League Leader, and health and fitness enthusiast. My passions are helping people to get to know Jesus, and encouraging others that having a good relationship with food and movement is worth learning! I am also a small-town Nebraska girl, a runner, coffee-addict, a certified PiYo Live group fitness instructor, an empowerer, and a rural influencer. I blog about our crazy life at http://cowgirlbootsandrunningshoes.com/.  I have a new title of SAHM and all my listed roles fill MY cup. The loves of my life—along with my farmer—are our four kids. I am learning to navigate life on a farm and at home after moving to my husband’s family’s place after 10 years of living in the city. Prayers and coffee accepted.

I’m So Thankful For This Little Family

In: Faith, Marriage, Motherhood
Toddler boy and infant girl, color photo

I remember my teenage self dreaming, hoping, and praying for a life like I have now. Praying for a man to love me, to be loyal to me, to want a family with me, to provide for me, to show me what stability felt like and what it felt like to not ever have to worry . . . and here he is right in front of me. I remember my teenage self dreaming, hoping, praying for a house I could make a home and raise my family in. Here it is right in front of me. But most of...

Keep Reading

Dear Husband, I Still Remember Who We Are

In: Marriage
Bride and groom kissing, color photo

Sometimes it might seem like I’ve forgotten about us—amid the cluster feeding and the baseball practices. In the heaps of diapers or the bubbly bath water. In this phase when my body is not my own, and it isn’t yours either. RELATED: Dear Husband, I Loved You First When my mind is too tired to string together another thought, and my voice is lost from whispering, not sweet nothings, but another lullaby. But I still remember who we are. Mirror souls, an unstoppable force, two hearts entangled—and we are conquering this part together because our relationship will go through seasons....

Keep Reading

I’m Just a Little Boy, but Daddy You’re Teaching Me How to Be a Man

In: Fatherhood, Marriage
Daddy on the floor playing with son, color photo

I’m only a little boy, still too young to tie my own shoes or make my own breakfast. My days are filled with playtime, snacks, lots of hugs from Mommy, and plenty of tickles from you, Daddy. Right now, my life revolves around me and you and Mommy. I don’t know much about the world outside our home yet. I haven’t learned about responsibility or self-discipline or sacrifice. I haven’t had to find my place in the world yet. But I guess I’m pretty lucky because even though you may not know it, you’ve already begun teaching me everything I...

Keep Reading

You’re the Father You Never Had and I’m So Proud of You

In: Fatherhood, Marriage
Dad and kids walking on beach

Can I tell you about my husband? He’s amazing. He’s kind and doting and loves Jesus, but perhaps his most endearing trait is the absolutely incredible father he is.  In our early days of dating, he was crippled by the fear of what type of father he would be. To him, fatherhood was burdensome, grumbling, abandonment, and fighting for the final dollar during tax season. His experience as a son crippled his anticipation as a father.  But I knew it all along—what an incredible dad he would be. Although I must admit, he has often far surpassed what I even...

Keep Reading

I Always Had an Excuse for My Excessive Drinking

In: Living, Marriage
Woman drinking wine

I remember the first time my husband sat me down and looked me in the eye and told me he was concerned about my drinking, about four years ago. It was after a particularly late, drunken Saturday night, and he approached me in our bedroom the next morning while our three kids were innocently watching TV downstairs. I don’t remember where we had been or who we had been with the night before, but it was probably much of the same drunken scene that we always found ourselves in, with the same people. What I do remember is the look...

Keep Reading

Spaghetti Sauce Faith

In: Faith, Marriage, Motherhood
Mother and little girl holding a bowl of spaghetti, color photo

It was Sunday afternoon, and I was loading my grocery cart higher than I ever had in my life. My husband and I, along with our two kids under two years old, had been living with his parents for three months. We moved from our Florida home to look for a house in Georgia, and they graciously took us in. This was the day I loaded up on groceries—filling an empty refrigerator, freezer, and pantry. My shopping list was all the things. I needed to buy the smallest of table ingredients like salt and garlic powder to the big things...

Keep Reading

Dear Husband, I’m Sorry for Expecting Perfection

In: Marriage
Couple embracing on beach

Dear Husband, There is a picture of a piece of burnt toast on my Facebook wall. It’s quite ugly. It’s the kind of toast that if it popped out of the toaster, I would try to scrape off all the black bits, probably making a mess over the countertop and in the kitchen sink in the process. And if the charred stuff never came off, I’d begrudgingly (because I don’t like to waste food) throw that toast in the garbage and make myself a new piece. That’s how burnt this piece of toast is. But it’s not my piece of...

Keep Reading

I Always Pack the Snack, and Other Ways Parenting is Never 50/50

In: Marriage, Motherhood
Mother lying on couch with children, black-and-white photo

I hate it. The idea of unequal roles irritates me to no end. Two years ago, I would never have believed it would come to this. The workload with my children will never be equally shared between my husband and me, and although I wish it weren’t true, I have finally come to terms with the notion that I will be the lead parent. “It will never be 50/50,” my husband said the other night, and as the words were coming out of his mouth, I believed him. It had been a bad day. Picking and arguing over who did...

Keep Reading

I Love the Way You Make Me Laugh

In: Marriage
Couple laughing

I love how you make me laugh. Like . . . love, love it.  You get that gleam in your eye—the one that could light up a city block, and I know what’s coming next.  I know I’m about to absolutely adore every word you deliver in that perfect execution of yours. I know the muscles on my face and in my stomach are about to hurt in an eager kind of way. I know I’m going to fall in love with you all over again. Right then. Right there. Really, it isn’t just the words. Don’t get me wrong, they...

Keep Reading

Divorce Made My Ex-Husband and Me Better Parents

In: Living, Marriage
Mom dropping child off with dad

When I married my husband, I could not imagine a life without him in it. We met at such a young age, and essentially, we grew up together. We molded one another and connected on such a deep level. With such a deep love, we decided the next step in life would be to get married and start a family. We wanted to create a life where we could watch our children grow, and we could grow old together.  Before having children, I don’t think anyone is prepared for the overwhelming love you experience for your child. You never realize...

Keep Reading

5 Secrets to the

BEST Summer Ever!

FREE EMAIL BONUS

Creating simple summer memories

with your kids that will  last a lifetime