I know it’s hard, this motherhood thing.
You want to get it right. Oh, you want to get it SO right. More than you’ve ever wanted anything before.
And so you do your research, make choices (which you question constantly), compare notes with other moms, and lie awake in the middle of the night wondering if you’re raising your babies up the right way.
And sometimes, you feel like the only one.
The only one who is struggling to keep up.
The only one who never gets out of the house.
The only one who loses her cool with her kids.
The only one who has lost her sense of self.
The only one who wants to speed right through certain tough phases, even though the world is telling you to slow down and enjoy every moment.
The only one who sometimes wakes up in the morning and wants to go right back to bed, because you’re exhausted just thinking about momming for the whole day.
You’re convinced everyone else knows some secret you must be missing.
But I want you to know something: you are not the only one.
We’re all in this together. We’re all stumbling our way through this motherhood thing, blind and uncertain, hopeful we’re choosing the right direction at every fork in the road.
Motherhood is beautiful, but it is hard. And it becomes even harder when we begin to feel lonely.
So mama, when you feel like the only one, I want you to do these three things:
1. Reach out to your tribe.
Send a text message to your best friend. Call up your mom or older sister on the phone, and ask as many questions as you need. Stop a strange mom in the freezer section of the grocery store and tell her all of your mothering woes (kidding . . . kind of).
Don’t have a tribe? Find one. I know, I KNOW—that’s SO much easier said than done when your days are already full and your hygiene isn’t in tip-top shape.
Harness the power of social media. Find an online mom group (like the Her View Moms group) where you can turn at 2 a.m. when your kid is burning a fever and you’re unsure of what to do. Trust that somewhere out there, there’s another mama who is also awake and willing to help ease your fears.
Whether virtually or in person, just find your people.
2. Find an inspirational book about motherhood and read it again and again. And then again.
Mark that bad boy up with folded page corners and underlined phrases. Copy your favorite quotes onto sticky notes and leave them on your mirror, the coffee maker, next to the baby’s rocking chair—anywhere you’ll see and be encouraged by the words when you need them most.
I’m telling you, a good book can change your life. My copy of Out of the Spin Cycle is worn and has been read multiple times, but it still gives me life every time I pick it up. Buy yourself a copy. Give one to a mama friend. I’m telling you, a good book can change your life.
(And for those of you rolling your eyes because WHAT MOM HAS TIME TO READ?! One word: Audible. I’ve listened to hundreds of books while chauffeuring kids and folding laundry.)
3. Trust yourself.
I saved the best (and hardest) for last.
If you’re anything like me, you walk through your days a little uncertain. Second guessing is human nature—and I’m convinced it’s multiplied by 10 once you have kids.
But oh, mama. You’ve got to trust yourself a little more.
I know you feel like everyone else is doing it right, and you’re just winging it, but guess what? Your mama intuition is a powerful thing. Talk to God, listen to your heart, and believe in your ability.
You’re doing better than you know.
It’s OK to have doubts and ask questions (so many questions) but don’t let your loneliness trick you into thinking you actually are alone.
You are not the only one. I promise.
P.S. We’re serious about this book. Life. Changing. Or at least motherhood-changing.
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