Our fall favorites are here! 🍂

A photo of my disgusting car went viral. And sorry, but I’m not sorry.

A couple of years ago, I posted a picture of what the seat of my car looked like after I had removed a car seat. The rest of my car was actually not too bad, but underneath that car seat was a scene of sheer destruction and horror that only someone who has had to move a car seat could possibly understand.

Ladies . . . it was a hot mess: 

messy seat in a car, color photoThere were crushed up crackers, puffy Cheetos, and Cheerios. There were crunched up Goldfish sprinkled around, and, inexplicably, a Bubble Guppies sticker attached to a popsicle. I had never seen so many orange snacks at one time, but for some reason, there they all were, collected on the underside of my daughter’s car seat.

RELATED: My Car is Always Messy Because I Have Kids

And honestly? I thought it was hysterical and oh, so real. So I shared it on our Instagram page.

It wasn’t long before the thing blew up, and with it, so did my confidence in myself as a mother and a reasonably clean person.

Certainly, there were lots of people who related to the image. Many jokingly asked how the sites that shared the image got a picture of their car. Many shared laughing emojis, tagged their partners, and clearly commiserated with what I had found underneath it. There were thousands of shares from people who totally understood where I was coming from.

And then there were the others.

Some simply stated this was the exact reason no one should ever let their kids eat in the car. Others said pictures like this were the reason they didn’t have children. Many questioned why there was so much junk food under the seat and asked what kind of mother would feed her kids so much processed food.

I was called a slob, a mess, and a disaster. I was told I was an embarrassment to mothers everywhere. Some even questioned if I should be allowed to keep my kids, seeing as how my life was so disgustingly filthy.

I was, naturally, taken aback. But the one thing I never was, was sorry.

My car may be a mess, but my life isn’t. Every day I experience the ups and downs of motherhood. Some days are beautiful, full of sweet treats and forehead kisses. Some are a disaster, filled to the brim with thinly-veiled bribes and desperate pleas for the kids to just behave.

But the image of the car seat, messy as it may be, will never make me ashamed. It tells the story of this season, and of the messy, wonderful life I share with the two delicious little terrors entrusted to my care.

RELATED: I’m the Mom With the Messy House

Those crackers represented times when I kept my daughter entertained while her baby brother snuck in his only nap of the day.

The Goldfish kept them from ruining their naps on a long drive home from Pretend City, my daughter’s favorite place in the whole wide world.

The lollipop was from Paul’s, our favorite outdoor restaurant and one of the few places we could take our two kids to eat without causing a scene.

The footprints on my console are where my children stood so they could see out of the sunroof, dancing and cheering like rock stars as we waited for the library to open.

The cotton candy stuck to the seat was from a family trip to Chuck E. Cheese where for three scary minutes we couldn’t find the baby. We found him safe and sound, right where we left him, but I was so shocked and disrupted I used a cotton candy bribe to end our trip early.

The Bubble Guppies sticker was from the time my daughter received a flu shot and felt so betrayed she instantly burst into tearsnot from the pain but from the shock. That sticker-on-a-stick was how I brought her back into my arms and showed her that even in the worst of times, we were a team.

I’m not saying I love the fact that my car was–and is–a mess. Far from it. But I wouldn’t change those momentsthe road trips, the sleeping babies, and the hard and beautiful work of mothering these little onesfor the world. 

Someday my car will be clean again. Someday these kids will be grown.

I’m sure I won’t remember the embarrassment of having a dirty car, and I’m sure I’ll even forget exactly how to get stuck-on cotton candy out of upholstery. (Boiling hot water and a dish scrubber for the inquiring minds that need to know.)

And long after the cotton candy is gone and the windows are clean, I will be left with the memories of these messy, complicated, and truly beautiful days. I will remember the road trips, and the dancing, and the unique mix of joy and exhaustion that described this season.

RELATED: Lord, Please Don’t Let Me Forget

I will always remember this brief, shining period when my kids were little and my life was the most beautiful of messes.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Jaymi Torrez

Jaymi Torrez blogs at TheSaltyMamas.com with her bestie and blogging partner Christine. She has two small children and a super cool husband. Jaymi dreams of five minutes peace and going to the bathroom alone, but can more often be found holding a two year old on her lap while writing about the ups and downs of parenting.

In His Hand

In: Faith, Motherhood
Hand of adult holds hand of child with field and sunshine in background

The July sun was turning the sky orange when my 2-year-old son and I headed out to the chicken coop. As we shuffled along in our rubber boots, I smiled at him while mentally making a list of all the things I needed to do that evening: do the dishes, wash my husband’s work clothes, finish that online research, pull weeds in the garden. I also thought about my friend who is hurting, a family member with a health problem, and how hard my husband works. I sighed quietly, feeling the familiar feeling of disappointment in myself that I can’t stay...

Keep Reading

The Letting Go Happens Tooth by Tooth

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little boy smiling missing a tooth

There is something about a toothless grin. Not the gummy smile of infancy, but the wide-gapped delight of a child who has newly lost a tooth. Today’s was not the first tooth my son has lost—the first was over a year ago—but today, the fifth tooth, was a top one, and today his smile seemed to announce with an oh, so in my face clarity, that he and I had better make room for adulthood (or at least, pre-tweendom?). He is shedding his babyhood. Those teeth that kept me up at night on their way in have outgrown their use....

Keep Reading

I Love Who We’ve Become

In: Baby, Motherhood
Mother holding newborn, black-and-white photo

The lines of my body are softer now. Softer like her little cheeks as they brush against mine. Softer like her smile while she falls asleep looking up at me. Softer like her perfect head of hair when I brush it after bath time. The parts of my body are more full now. Full like her belly because of the milk I create. Full like her thighs fitting into new sizes as we leave the premie world in our rearview. Full like our hearts since we found out she was coming, and they’ve filled exponentially every day since. RELATED: The...

Keep Reading

It’s Okay if the Dishes Can’t Wait

In: Living, Motherhood
Woman washing dishes

It’s been seven hours since I last spoke. There’s no one in the house to talk to. My husband is still at work and my kids are having a sleepover at Grandma’s. It’s also the Friday before a long weekend, so most of my friends have left for the cottage, which means my phone hasn’t dinged in a while. So, I did what most mothers do when they have the house to themselves for a few hours. I cleaned. I washed the dishes. I wiped the toothpaste off the bathroom mirror in my kids’ bathroom. I picked up the wood chips...

Keep Reading

To the Parents Facing a Child’s Illness: You Are Strong

In: Grief, Kids, Motherhood
Toddler with cast and IV looking out window

If you are the parents who just sat for hours in a cold doctor’s office to hear that your child has a life-threatening illness, you are so strong.  If you are the parents who can’t bring yourself to decorate or celebrate the unknown because you don’t know if they’ll ever come home, you are so strong.  If you are the parents who travel or relocate to deliver your child in one of the best hospitals with hopes it will change the outcome, you are so strong. If you are the parents who learn all the medical terminology so you understand...

Keep Reading

What Happens When Your Perfect Life Explodes?

In: Grief, Living, Loss, Marriage, Motherhood
Sad woman by window with her head in hands

One day you’re living your best life, writing articles about how perfect your marriage is, and the next, BOOM, life as you know it completely changes. I was blindsided by information that my husband had been lying to me for three years about certain aspects of our lives. I felt like I had been hit in the gut by the biggest rock you could imagine. What has followed has been a snowball of events and new information that has changed the course of my and my kids’ lives. So what do you do when your perfect explodes? This is one...

Keep Reading

Life Began with You

In: Baby, Motherhood
Mother holding baby to her chest by window

I heard about the labor pains. And the sleepless nights.  I heard about the inconveniences. And the never-ending sacrifices.  I heard about the “end of life as I knew it.” And the loss of my individual freedom.  I heard about how it would impact my career. And how I’d never get to travel the world.  I heard about how I should date my husband while I can. And how expensive it all is. I heard about never getting any alone time. And how frustrating it can be. I heard about loneliness, depression, and the blues. And how hard it is to...

Keep Reading

Sweet Baby, I Wish I Could Have Met You

In: Baby, Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Toddler standing at table with lit candles, color photo

Miscarriage. It floods my head with devastating memories. It seems like it happened so long ago, yet I can still feel the roller coaster of emotions I was taken on. My husband and I were ready to start a family, and I was fortunate enough to get pregnant right away. Holding that pregnancy test with my hands shaking and voice trembling, I was scared and excited.  I was ready to be a mom. Even though seeing those two lines so quickly left me shocked, I was ready to meet my baby. When I found out there was a little human growing...

Keep Reading

All I Could Do Was Make It to Church Today

In: Faith, Motherhood
Close up of man holding baby in his arms in church pew with kids in background

All I can do is make it to church today. It was the final thought that shut the door on all the other thoughts this morning. The thoughts that said I don’t look good enough. I should put on makeup. I should wear something nicer. I should find a way to paint my nails without them getting smudged up from holding a baby before they dry. The thoughts that said I am not doing good enough. I should have made supper last night. I shouldn’t have used that glass pan that shattered in the oven while trying to steam bake...

Keep Reading

You Are Worth Every Sacrifice

In: Baby, Motherhood
Mother holding infant, black-and-white photo

The best part of me is my son. Being a new mom is exhausting yet so rewarding. They say when he sleeps, you sleep. But I don’t want to miss any cuddles, so when he sleeps, I snuggle him up tight.  Being a new mom is lonely and so fulfilling at the same time. I’ve never felt so alone, but I’ve also never felt like my life had a purpose until now.  I wouldn’t trade my loneliness for a large number of friends. Although having some friends, even if very few, helps. Sometimes it takes being lonely to bring the most...

Keep Reading