There’s Just Something About Mamas and Their Boys

Dear Jackson,

Today didn’t go at all how I expected.

Usually, when moms have me come to the hospital, to capture their firstborn meeting their sibling, it’s pretty stinkin’ adorable.

Not that you weren’t adorable.
(You were.)

It’s just that most times, there is holding and kissing and lots of questions involved.

But as soon as I walked in—before you came up—your momma, she was a wreck.

She told me that you, Jackson, YOU were her baby.

Your sweet sister, well, she was a surprise.
They weren’t planning on her yet, anyway.

But life is funny like that.

She was a lot easier to come by than you were almost two years ago.

Still, here she was.

And your momma—while she LOVED this sweet little girl with a head full of hair and a tiny bow—she was so worried about you.

She didn’t know if you’d understand.
(You wouldn’t.)

She didn’t know if she’d gotten to love you long enough yet all alone.

Enough for you to know that there was nothing and no one that could make her love you less.

But those are hard conversations for a 22-month-old.

She started crying before you even made it through the door.

She knew what I didn’t.

You were and (most likely) will forever be the ultimate momma’s boy.

You liked her.
You said her name.
She was OK.

Until she found a spot on your momma’s lap beside you.

And then, well.
That wasn’t very good at all.

Not yet, anyway.

I watched as your tears broke your momma’s heart.

But I smiled, on the inside.
So big that it made me have a few tears, too.

Because there is this thing between mommas and their boys.

There is this unconditional, unexplainable kind of love.
That even if it isn’t felt all the time, it’s always there.

But aside from that, there’s this other kind of love.

A big brother kind of love.
One that you don’t know about yet, but you’ll soon learn.

One that you’ll be able to slowly ease your momma’s fears with.

But right now, she just wants you to be happy.

And she knows that she makes you happy.

And she isn’t 100% positive there is enough of her to go around.

Because though you’ll want her, someone else will now need her, too.

And man, that’s tough, on a momma like yours.

The good news is your love will grow for that sister of yours.

Maybe not today.
Or tomorrow.
Or anytime soon.

But one day.

You’ll love your momma so much more because she gave you a sister who is going to love you like crazy, too.

And to have so many people who love you so much. . .

Well, I’m pretty sure that makes you one of the luckiest kids in the world.

Even, if it doesn’t feel like it yet.

This post originally appeared on Jordan Burch Photography