Pre-Order So God Made a Mother

Who can remember when it’s time to schedule that dreaded pap smear? Or the awkward and ouchy mammogram? The annoying teeth cleaning, the pesky physical, or the oft-put-off eye exam? And why did God build us to require such high maintenance, anyway? Didn’t he realize we wouldn’t have (the desire to make) time for all these pit crew stops?

Sure, most doctor’s offices send us reminders when it’s time to show up and be seen, but let’s face it—we’re busy, so we ignore those. We’ve got calendar apps on our phones for creating our own reminders, as well. But we’d rather use our phones to scroll Facebook or Instagram or text with a friend than tend to the often emotionally charged matter of the state of our personal health.

The formers are all akin to zoning out and taking a breather from the hard, mundane, or undesirable while the latter is a reminder we’ve likely dropped the ball and now have to chase after it.

One reason we benefit from tribing it up and depending on the sisterhood to live life to its fullest is often, our female compatriots have some darn good ideas. Ideas we weren’t about to come up with that make life easier and more manageable.

Our girlfriends, family members, and public figures have identified methods of doing life that make more sense than ours sometimes. Methods they’re more than happy to share if we’ll just open our minds and listen. For sometimes, they’re taking in the whole of the forest while our tunnel vision sights are set on one tree. 

One such sister lit up a lightbulb in my head when she mentioned she always schedules her yearly doctor’s appointments on our around her birthday.

My first reaction was a big guffaw and a hearty heck no to that idea. Who in the world wants to sign up for rounds of poking and prodding, inquiries and scales, peeing in cups and endless piles of paperwork to celebrate her birthday? Not me. That is not how I party.

Undeterred, this wise sister went on to explain it’s the easiest way she’s found to remember when she’s due to focus on her health. And focusing on her health is the best gift she can think of to give herself each year—one that doubles as a gift for those she loves, as well.

Because if mama ain’t healthy—then, well, I shudder to think. We can’t go down if we can help it, ladies. We are the hub, air traffic control, ground support, and the pilot for our families—all at the same time. The ability to care for the people we love the way our heart desires is fully dependent on being well enough to do it. Both physically and mentally.

Yet we often put our own well-being squarely behind the rest of our crew’s. It doesn’t make the most sense, but still, we fall into a pattern of putting off self-care. What’s more, who’s going to take care of us if we don’t choose to? We’re the moms now so there’s no one making appointments for us or dropping everything to help ensure we’re in tip-top shape.

Sister-friend got me with that sensical line of reasoning. I don’t enjoy the yearly battery of exams and appointments and I won’t enjoy them any further on or around my birthday—probably even less so. But taking the time and energy to mark the day of my birth by doing what I can to ensure I’m around for as many more birthdays as possible makes so much sense to me. So I’m in!

I’m all in for this easy way to remember it’s time to haul my butt into the chair, onto the table, into the stirrups, in front of the imaging machine and to chat with professionals about all that’s going on up in here. I owe this focus of time and energy to me and to the family I want to be healthy and happy for. I deserve it, too. As do you.

So, how ’bout it—are you ready to party like it’s your birthday this way, too?

You may also like:

I’m Always Anxious About My Health

Tales From The Stirrups: My Yearly Exam

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available for pre-order now!

Pre-Order Now

Jodie Utter

Jodie Utter is a freelance writer & creator of the blog, Utter Imperfection. She calls the Pacific Northwest home and shares it with her husband and two children. As an awkward dancer who’s tired of making dinner and can’t stay awake past nine, she flings her life wide open and tells her stories to connect pain to pain and struggle to struggle in hopes others will feel less alone inside their own stories and more at home in their hearts, minds, and relationships. You can connect with her on her blog, Utter Imperfection and on FacebookInstagram, or Twitter.

Sometimes Love Means Slowing Down

In: Friendship, Kids
Two boys on bicycles riding to park, shown from behind

Think of something faster than a 7-year-old boy on a two-wheel bike. Maybe a race car at the drop of the checkered flag? Perhaps a rocket ship blasting into space? Or how quickly a toddler mom books it out of the house after being told she can have a hands-free hour ALONE in Target. Yes, all of these things are seriously speedy, but I have still never seen anything quite as quick as a boy on a bike on a sunny day with endless open track ahead of him. Until today. Today, my 6-year-old son wanted to ride bikes with...

Keep Reading

To the Mom Going through a Divorce

In: Living, Marriage, Motherhood
Woman holding young girl outside, blurred background

To the mom going through a divorce: you can do this. I’ve been where you are, staring at a mountain of changes and challenges that felt insurmountable. The crushing ache of divorce, of family disruption, of building a new life, and helping my son through it all seemed endless and impossible. But eventually, I made it through to the other side, and I want you to know: the pain won’t last forever.  The first year following a divorce is an overwhelming puzzle of putting your life back together. And when there are kids involved, there is so much more to...

Keep Reading

I Wish My Family Could See More than My Faults

In: Living
Mom standing with child on dirt road

I am and always will be a self-described mini-train wreck. I’m disorganized, have trouble keeping my house clean, and my kids aren’t perfect angels. In my home, we have fights, slammed doors, foul language, and dirty dishes in the sink.  I sometimes go in the bathroom and cry so hard my mascara streaks down my cheeks—that is, when I wear mascara. Usually sans makeup and hair tied with an old scrunchy is the look I often rock.  I’m notoriously terrible about making appointments for myself, I’m constantly tired, and my nails could stand a good manicure.  I’m overweight, and I...

Keep Reading

There’s Something Special about Old Friends

In: Friendship, Living
College of pictures of friends, black-and-white photo

There is much to be said about old friends. In quotes, in the five regrets of the dying, in The Golden Girls theme song. But life gets busy, doesn’t it? It gets complicated—marriages, jobs, kids, errands. Friendships that were once part of us seem to fade into the background as lives grow and shift.  Being the always optimist, the queen of nostalgia, the friend who probably holds on just a little too tight, I have always seen the value in the old. The familiar. I’m the person who orders the same menu item every time at my favorite restaurant. I’m...

Keep Reading

8 Fight Songs for the Single Mom

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood
Woman holding earbuds in ears

They whispered to her: You cannot withstand the storm. I have had days when the storms hit me while I sat on the shower floor with my knees to my chest feeling completely defeated, letting the hot water beat down on my body. I have had nights when the storms hit me as tears stained my pillow. As time has moved on, I am learning how to beat the storms. This is only possible because of the family and friends that God has brought into my life. This is my fight song. These are and have been my take back...

Keep Reading

Take the Trip, You Won’t Regret It

In: Kids, Living, Motherhood

Two years ago, in the middle of a snowy, windy, Colorado March, my husband and I made the spontaneous decision to road trip to Arizona with our three very young kids.  Even though I was excited, the nerves were so very real. Over the next couple of weeks, I literally lost sleep worrying about the logistics of our trip. My late-night mindless scrolling was replaced by searches like “traveling with toddlers” and “keeping kids entertained on road trips”. We already had our hands full chasing kids at home in a familiar setting. Were we crazy to think we could just...

Keep Reading

Bust Out the Clipboard of Fun: It’s 90s Con Weekend!

In: Living
Candace Cameron Bure Andrea Barber on an airplane, taking a selfie with sleeping woman by window

In a world divided by basically everything, there’s one thing we all can agree on: growing up in the ’90s was the absolute best. You were dialing up to the internet on a monstrosity of a computer, probably with a free trial of AOL your parents got in the mail. You had a Discman with double bass boost and a sweet pair of Sony headphones with those foam pads over the ears. If you were lucky, your friend down the street had the coveted clear telephone AND a dedicated teen line. And every day after school, you cracked open some...

Keep Reading

Don’t Delete the Picture You Think You Look Bad In

In: Grief, Living, Loss
Woman holding phone with picture of her and daughter, color photo

Don’t delete the picture—the one you look bad in. I said it. You heard me. Don’t delete the picture, that picture—you know the one, the one with the double chin or the bad angle. The picture that is not so flattering. The picture that accentuates your forehead lines or the one taken next to your skinny best friend. We are all so hard on ourselves. Many of us are striving for a better complexion or a thinner physique. Sometimes scrutinizing ourselves and zooming in on a picture—seeing things the world does not see. Don’t delete the picture. RELATED: Take the...

Keep Reading

Dear Daughter, Friendships Are Like Blue Jeans

In: Friendship, Motherhood
Friends holding hands no faces showing, wearing blue jeans

Dear daughter, As you grow, relationships with other girls will often be complicated and sometimes feel discouraging. Friendships can be life-giving and beautiful. They can also be dramatic and draining.  Here’s a little trick to understanding the ebb and flow of friendships in your life.  Think of friendships like blue jeans.  They might be in your life for just a season. They can be trendy, but not last very long. Sometimes you will outgrow them. Sometimes they won’t fit, and you will have to put them back.  RELATED: Not All Friendships Are Meant To Last Forever Sometimes they are brand new, but...

Keep Reading

To the Mom Overwhelmed by Anger and Guilt

In: Living, Motherhood
Woman with head in hands and kids in background

Long before you became a mother, you fantasized about the special connection you would share with your little ray of sunshine. You made the promise that you would arm yourself with all the patience in the world and be the calmest and most loving parent there is.   And how long did it take you to end up confused, worried, or disappointed when reality didn’t meet your expectations of being a mother?   In my practice as a psychotherapist, I often meet mothers overwhelmed by guilt and shame because, in their eyes, they don’t rise to the challenge.   I snapped at him...

Keep Reading