Gifts for Dad ➔

My beautiful baby,

You came into this world unexpected and somewhat wildly. Birthing you was not easy but I’m so thankful for every single second I have been able to spend with you. Having you has been the best and most exhausting adventure of my life.

You take my breath away in the moments I least expect it. Just a random glance at you and I find myself baffled that somehow you are mine. Seeing your dad pop out in your smile, your mannerisms and in your joy only makes me love you more. Seeing myself in your personality, and your eyes, makes me feel like our souls are connected.

It’s hard to even imagine having another baby join us, because you have so fully completed our family. There is no void in our hearts that need filling with another baby. If we just had you, it would still be everything we could possibly ask for and more.

Sometimes I wonder if I am doing you a disservice by having another baby so soon. I wonder if you will feel less loved, if our relationship will change, or if you will try to attach to someone else for the attention you once got fully from me.

Sometimes I think to myself, gosh, we should have waited so you wouldn’t have to share your parents so young.

But my sweet boy, I rest in the fact that God makes no mistakes in His creation and His plan. This sibling is supposed to join us, and though there is no void in our family, I believe an even greater amount of love will be experienced with our new addition. I know you will love him or her, because you are a lover. And even though thinking about sharing my time with another baby can sometimes break my heart, it also brings me a whole new level of excitement when I think about you as a big brother. A role model. A guide. A protector. A best friend. My prayer is that your sibling will bring you more joy, laughter and love then I ever could.

I also want you to know that even if you gain another 100 siblings after this, you will always be my first.

You will always be my first memory of the incredible surge of emotion that occurs when you hold your baby for the first time. You were the first to help me explore the world of motherhood and learn the ins and outs of caring for a baby. It is your sweet face, your giggles, your love, that got me through the most exhausting days of my life. You walked with me through all my first mom-fails (and will continue to do so). You are always going to be the one who first exploded my heart with a joy and love I didn’t know could exist.

You are the one who gave me the name “mom”.

Things will change, and there will inevitably be more chaos. But one thing will remain the same: my love for you. In fact, it will continue to grow.

No one will ever replace your spot in my heart. Thank you for being the one who first changed my life in the best way possible. I am forever better because of you.

Love,

Mom

Kelli Bachara

Kelli Bachara is a wife and mom to two sweet kiddos. She is a mental health therapist, writer, and podcaster. Kelli loves her Goldendoodle, coffee, and this beautiful thing called life. You can find her at www.kellibachara.com.

Even When You Feel Like a Failure, Your Family Still Loves You

In: Motherhood
Mother holding child and laughing, color photo

Today was hard. Put it down. Lay it down and don’t dwell on it. I know, at this moment you feel like a failure. A failure as a mom and as a wife. RELATED: I Failed as a Mom Today and I May Fail Again Tomorrow, But I’ll Keep on Trying You feel like you’re failing at life, and you just can’t get ahead. And that’s OK. It will pass. You had a bad day. We all have those days. Those days when we can’t get ahead and we can’t get things done that we wanted to, so we have...

Keep Reading

Oh, How I’ll Miss Little You

In: Kids, Motherhood
Child standing in leaves, looking up, color photo

Oh, my sweet little child, I wish you could stay this little forever. I wish these days would never end. They are busy, loud, and chaotic—but, oh, how I love them! They make my life feel whole. Complete. I don’t know what I will do when these days are gone. I will miss your sweet little face looking up at me. The innocence in your eyes. Your sweet little grin. I will miss how your face lights up when you see me. How your little arms manage to give me the biggest hugs. How I can make everything better with...

Keep Reading

I’m an Emotionally Exhausted Mom

In: Living, Motherhood
Tired mom in hallway

I awake to the sound of my 4-year-old asking for breakfast. For him, every day is exciting. It’s whipped cream on pancakes, bike rides, and hugs. He smiles and chatters away as I make my way downstairs. I try to shake off the nightmares that kept me up all night, but my body feels tired and sluggish. My stomach is in knots. “Will you read to me, Mommy?” How can I say no? I sit down with a cup of coffee as he piles his favorite books onto my lap. He snuggles in next to me, and I put my...

Keep Reading

“God, Please Put a Baby in Mommy’s Belly. Amen.”

In: Loss, Motherhood
Little girl praying by bed

“God, please put a baby in Mommy’s belly. Amen.” She’s added it to her prayers every night for the past year. Woke up two weeks ago. Didn’t feel well.  Dark positive pregnancy test Shock. Joy. Excitement.  Thank you, God. We’ve all wanted this for so long. My husband jumps up and hugs me. He’s so happy, maybe even more than me, if that’s possible.  Three more positive tests over the next week to double-check. More excitement with each definite positive. A Christmas baby. Pure joy.  A few unusual symptoms. Shrug them off. Telling a few people but not too many,...

Keep Reading

Even When I Fail, I Hope You Feel My Love

In: Motherhood
Drawing of mother holding toddler, black-and-white photo

I am sorry for the days I am not enough—the days I am short on attention or tempered for reasons that don’t matter as much as you matter.  I am not always living in the moment. I am mulling over the past or worrying about the future. I am sorry for not letting go sooner of things I can’t control and sometimes missing the beauty of you, right in front of me.  I apologize for the days I let exhaustion or circumstances get the best of me. If it gets the best of me, it gets the best of you....

Keep Reading

If Only My Mother Were Still Here

In: Grief, Motherhood
Mother and daughter on beach at sunset

My strongest memory of my momma is more of a feeling than a memory. I can see myself standing in the bright kitchen of our big yellow house looking up at my beautiful momma surrounded by sunlight. I think she was handing me a glass of saltwater for a sore throat. But the feeling is what I remember in the most detail . . . I felt safe and loved, known and seen.   I knew that even if I didn’t know what I needed, she would always know. A hug, a song, a gentle nudge of confidence, a silly kitchen...

Keep Reading

There’s Just Something about a 4-Year-Old

In: Child, Kids, Motherhood
4 year old girl smiling outside

There’s just something about a 4-year-old. The way their bubbly laughs and sweet little faces still have some traces of babyhood while they’re transforming into more and more of their own unique person right before your eyes.  The way they ask questions about everything under the sun, listen wide-eyed to your clumsy answers, and believe every single word you say. It’s so innocent (and scary) the way they believe absolutely anything you tell them—just because you’re “mommy.”  The way their still-a-little-chubby hand finds yours. And the way they still come running to you for a hug and kiss when they’re hurt. Or...

Keep Reading

Find the People Who Will Root for You

In: Friendship, Kids, Motherhood
Empty sports field, color photo

My son participated in tryouts out for a new travel soccer team at the end of a recreational fall soccer season one chilly evening in November. He has been playing recreational soccer since he was three years old when we started with the local club. He has been asking about joining a travel team since kindergarten. In recent seasons, I watched him struggle in the recreational league. I watched him wanting a little bit more in the sport as he developed his passion—he was ready to grow.  We knew he loved soccer, and it was something he had always wanted...

Keep Reading

I May Not Earn a Paycheck but My Work Is Worthy

In: Motherhood
Mother and son unloading dishwasher, color photo

I remember getting a paycheck once.  I chose direct deposit, and I’d review my monthly bank statements with no surprises. I knew how much I needed for my bills, and I knew when I had a little extra to spend. I knew I was getting compensated for all those hours I put in, and it felt good to earn a living. But that all changed when my husband and I decided I’d quit my full-time job to stay at home full time to raise our children.  RELATED: God Gave Me the Heart of a Stay-at-Home Mom All of the sudden,...

Keep Reading

You Don’t Raise Your Babies to Be Little Forever, but I Thought I’d Have More Time

In: Kids, Motherhood, Teen, Tween
Little boy peeking over wooden fence, color photo

I can see the yellow blur of the school bus passing in front of my window. Soon my little boy will excitedly burst through the front door with his picture of a giraffe from art class. His big brown eyes will meet mine as I get a toothless “I missed you, Mom” grin. He will tell me everything he had on his tray for lunch, recount the whole soccer game at recess, and share all about that hilarious thing his friend said on the bus. He will then sit on my lap as he takes each school paper out of...

Keep Reading

 5 Secrets to Connect with Your Kids

FREE EMAIL BONUS

Proven techniques to build REAL connections