I married my college sweetheart over a decade ago.

I want to ask my mom about marriage.

I want to ask her about navigating arguments and personality differences.

But she left me way too soon.

My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage.

My mother had three miscarriages.

Her first two were before I was born, and I was her rainbow baby.

Her third miscarriage was in the second trimester, after my little brother was born.

It devastated her emotionally for several years when I was in elementary school.

I want to ask my mom about grief and pregnancy loss.

But she left me way too soon.

I gave birth to two daughters almost a decade ago.

I want to ask my mom about motherhood.

I want to ask her about raising a daughter.

But she left me way too soon.

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My baby brother is recovering from an alcohol addiction.

I want to ask my mom about supporting him well through his recovery.

But she left me way too soon.

My dad is remarried.

I want to ask my mom about loving my dad and stepmom well.

But she left me way too soon.

My grandparents, my mother’s parents, died a few years ago.

I want to ask my mom about her childhood

I want to ask her how her relationship with her parents changed as she got older.

But she left me way too soon.

My girls are getting older and closer to puberty.

I want to ask her about myself as an adolescent and teenager.

I want to ask her for parenting tips.

But she left me way too soon.

I recently started substitute teaching.

My mother taught ninth-grade English.

I want to ask her how she handled classroom management and discipline.

I want to ask her for teaching tips.

But she left me way too soon.

I want to ask my mom about politics and voting.

I want to talk to her about racism and feminism and economics and COVID.

But she left me way too soon.

I want to ask my mom about potential health changes as I get older.

I want to ask her about menopause and anemia and hypothyroidism.

But she left me way too soon.

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I want to ask my mom about Southern cooking and herb gardening and making goat cheese.

I want to ask her about meatloaf and beef stroganoff and fried zucchini and Ranger cookies.

But she left me way too soon.

I want to ask my mom about mundane chores like cleaning bathrooms and doing laundry and removing stains.

But she left me way too soon.

I want to ask her about books and music and art.

I want to ask her about Faulkner and Rodgers & Hammerstein.

But she left me way too soon.

I want to ask my mom about her hobbies like drawing and painting and writing.

But she left me way too soon.

I want to ask my mom about theology and philosophy and history and literature.

I want to ask her about church and community and adult friendships.

But she left me way too soon.

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I want to ask my mom about making mistakes and making amends and granting forgiveness.

But she left me way too soon.

I want to ask my mom about knitting and sewing clothes for my girls.

But she left me way too soon.

I want to ask my mom about my family vacations and childhood adventures.

I want to ask her about holidays and traditions and gifts.

But she left me way too soon.

I want to ask my mom about her grandparents and her family history.

But she left me way too soon.

I want to ask my mom about family heirlooms and antique furniture.

I want to ask her about old photographs.

But she left me way too soon.

I want to ask my mom about cowboys and horses and my grandpa’s ranch.

But she left me way too soon.

I lost my mother, my best friend, to early onset Alzheimer’s disease almost a decade ago.

But I actually started losing her a decade before that to the effects of dementia.

I want to ask her about getting through that kind of profound loss.

But she left me way too soon.

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Everything my mom taught me in the first two decades of my life will have to be enough.

All of the love and wisdom she imparted will have to last me a lifetime.

And every lesson learned from her is the foundation of every lesson I teach my kids.

I will always need my mother but she left me way too soon.