Our marriage is not 50/50.

Like, not even close.

There is nothing equal about our moments, our days, our responsibilities.

Because we decided L O N G ago that 50/50?

Well, it just doesn’t work for us.

For when my daddy was ill and cancer was destroying the last little bit of life that he had left.

I didn’t have 50% in me to give.

When he was starting that new job and was consumed day and night by getting in all that he could learn.

He didn’t have 50% in him to give.

When I was recovering from giving birth to a child and spent all night nursing said child.

I didn’t have 50% in me to give.

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When his best friend unexpectedly passed away, and he had to learn how to live a life without someone that he thought he would have for another 40 years.

He didn’t have 50% to give.

Sure, some days look like 50/50.

I’ll cook the dinner as he sets the table.

I’ll do the dishes as he sweeps the floor.

I’ll do homework with one as he does it with another.

But we have chosen to never keep score.

For there are days when that scoreboard will be in his favor; there are days when it will be in mine.

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But scoreboards?

They work for soccer, basketball, baseball.

They work for games.

They don’t work for relationships.

A relationship is one day showing up with 80% and giving grace when your favorite can only show up with 20%.

A relationship is one day showing up with 30% while giving thanks to your favorite who is showing up with 70%.

Relationships are about recognizing as partners who needs what and when.

Don’t keep score.

Just love as much as you can, whenever you can.

The rest will fall in to place.

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This post originally appeared on Love Always, Heather

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Heather Delaney

Heather is a wife and mother of three, who is crazy passionate about motherhood, marriage, and sisterhood. She loves hot mugs, heart rambles, and really good pasta. You can follow along with her adventures either on Facebook, or on Instagram.