I’m an awkward person.

Please never take it personally when I don’t answer your calls. It’s just that anxiety always wrecks me over what to say and it’s infinitely easier for me to just let you go to voicemail.

I’m an awkward person.

Please never take it personally when I don’t warm up to you right away. It’s just that I need a little time to gauge your personality before I can begin to feel comfortable expressing mine.

I’m an awkward person.

Please never take it personally when a chat between the two of us trails off into the abyss. It’s just that I’m not good at wrapping up a conversation and, while you may not see it, my mind starts wildly somersaulting over the uncomfortableness of it all as I will the floor to swallow me whole.

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I’m an awkward person.

Please never take it personally when I depend on you to take the lead. It’s just that I hate thinking I might upset you or overstep my bounds so in most cases I’d just prefer for you to steer our course.

I’m an awkward person.

Please never take it personally when my gaze doesn’t quite meet yours. It’s just that I’m so busy wondering which of your eyes to look at that my focus kind of bounces around between both until I’m cross-eyed and distracted and really hoping you don’t notice.

I’m an awkward person.

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Please never take it personally when I don’t have a lot to say. Honestly, I probably do, it’s just that my thoughts immediately turn into, “Is there food in my teeth? I hope they don’t see it. Maybe don’t smile too big? Why are they looking at me weird? Oh, no, they saw the food in my teeth. They must think I’m gross,” and so on until I can’t remember what our conversation was even about.

You see, I’m an awkward person.

Truthfully, I don’t always like this about myself.

It’s just the way I have always been.

And while I do sometimes wish that I was just as brave, and bold, and confident as you . . . 

Other times, I think to myself, you know what?

The world needs awkward people, too.

This post originally appeared on Wooden Spoons and Brown Paper

Erin Eddy

I am a 36-year-old, stay-at-home, homeschool mom residing in Illinois. I like to be honest and sincere with readers, diving into topics such as child-rearing and a previous divorce. My ultimate objective is to inspire.