Dear Noah, Caleb, and Micah:

I can’t believe it’s been nine years since I held you in my arms. My sweet sons, losing you broke me in a way that I never thought was possible. I have loved you every second of every day since we first heard of your pending arrival.

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With each day that you have spent in eternity, my love for you has grown exponentially. I have a vision of the day we will hug once more. I imagine that by then, my heart will have expanded so much that with our long-awaited embrace, as we are reunited, there will be an explosion of emotions that we will not be able to contain.

I wish we had more time with you here on Earth.

I miss you so much it hurts. But your short lives changed my entire life. I am a better wife, mother, and friend because of you.

You taught me that you don’t need a lot of time to change someone’s entire life. You taught me that you don’t need to ever utter a word to have influence. You taught me that every single breath is an opportunity to live and walk in your purpose. Because while your lives were short, only minutes, your entire lifetimes were filled with impact, influence, and purpose.

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And even as you passed from death to eternal life nine years ago, you are still teaching me every day. You remind me that life is short. That each day is an opportunity to love and that it is always better to forgive. Each day you remind me to live and to take nothing for granted. And every single day, you teach me that God is good. Because living with Him is the only way I could survive living without you.

I can’t wait to see you again.

I bet you are all getting really tall. Do you all love music? How about sweets? You have to like cupcakes and ice cream. I hope you are not fighting with each other, please make sure you are sharing. And give each other an extra hug for me today, pretty please!

I want you to know I am so proud of you. You have made me love better. You have made me live better. It is my greatest joy, honor, and privilege to be your mother.

Happy Birthday my precious sons! I am well pleased with you. For you, I prayed!

Originally published on the author’s blog