I’m a mother of four, which is somewhat of a big deal in North America’s standard two-kid culture. The best part is we had all four of them in four and half years. Yes, you read that correctly, and no we’re not crazy.
Things have gotten a little bit easier, but when my kids were little, my life was insane. I mean pure chaos! There were busy babies everywhere, meltdowns constantly, and the number of diapers was astounding.
For years, a good night’s sleep was folklore, and my husband and I would both laugh and simultaneously cry about our seemingly infinite exhaustion.
It was a whirlwind.
On top of everything, we had a lot of input from just about everyone and their mother. I’m talking about complete strangers walking up to me in the grocery store and saying stuff like, “Wow, you have your hands full!” or “You must be crazy! Are you having more?”
It turns out when you have anything over three kids, you open yourself up to a whole bunch of unsolicited opinions about family size.
Most of the time I would just laugh it off because four kids in less than five years is crazy, but sometimes it was frustrating. I know it shouldn’t matter, but it bothered me having random strangers weigh in on my life choices and judge me. It hurt knowing that people were wondering why I brought another beautiful child into this world? As if there’s some sort of unspoken quota that shouldn’t be surpassed.
I know what people think, that it’s irresponsible to have a lot of kids. It puts too much of a financial strain on the family, and how can you possibly love and care for that many tiny human beings. I get it, and it’s a challenge, but it’s what we chose and we make it work.
You see we were—and still are—tired, and sure, we had a lot of kids in a short amount of time, but I wouldn’t change it for anything.
I love our crazy family.
I love the hustle and bustle and the fact I never have the chance to get bored. In fact, I’ve realized that more and more as COVID caused a wave of loneliness to wash over the world, and I relished in a constant buzz around our home.
It’s not just me and my husband that benefit, my kids do too. They have built-in best friends for life. Loneliness is rare in our home. There is almost always someone to play Minecraft with, kick a soccer ball around the yard, or make a mess with slime. They have each other, and yes, sometimes they drive each other crazy, but they also love each other deeply. I’ve had sick kids almost every day this week, and each afternoon they ask me when their siblings are coming home.
My kids may not always get the perks of smaller families. With four kids, we can’t afford to go on as many trips or do as many activities, but they have more than enough. Most importantly, they are blessed with love.
Sure, as a parent things can be tough. It’s true that having a lot of kids can be overwhelming at times. In fact, I frequently feel like I’m moments away from face planting on the speeding treadmill that is my life, but it’s wonderful in its own unique way.
Our family isn’t just crazy and chaotic, it’s fun and full.
We are busy and frantic most days, and yet, I often pause and marvel at how lucky I am.
Sure it’s not for everyone. It’s more sleepless nights and fun-filled days. It’s way more noise and thankfully more laughter. It’s definitely more tears and seemingly endless meltdowns, and yet it’s more joy.
Of course, having a lot of kids is crazy, but if you’re asking, I wouldn’t have it any other way.