If you like Her View, you'll love our new book, So God Made a Mother. Pre-Order here ➡️

As we grow up, we experience all different types and versions of love, and in turn, we experience very different things when each of these relationships ends. 

For me, as painful as they were, breakups were always relatively simple.

Intentions were clear. Feelings were hurt. Betrayal. Lies. The love, gone. You know, the kind of breakups people always talk about.

RELATED: Playing Chicken: A Marriage on the Brink of the End

Young love. We were clueless. Some would say stupid. We thought we knew everything, but we really knew nothing at all. It hurt, unlike anything we’d ever experienced, because well, we’d never experienced anything like that before.

But like all things when we are young, we grow, and we move on.

The toxic relationship. The one that broke me slowly for years until it finally destroyed me. Even with that horrific ending, it was exactly that, a clear ending. There wasn’t any going back. The damage was done. It would be hard. But it was clear, cut and dry.

The relationship where someone falls out of love. Also painful. So painful. Regardless of the side that you stand on. But again, clear, cut, and to the point. You can’t make someone love you. You can’t make yourself love someone even if they feel like the perfect choice. 

Now let’s fast forward to heartbreak number four. Present day. The heartbreak and breakup that I wasn’t ever prepared for. The heartbreak you don’t read in a book or see in a movie. The heartbreak that confuses you and flips your world upside down at the sentence you never actually understood before, “How can love not be enough?”

Nobody prepares you for the relationship you must leave because it just simply isn’t working.

You aren’t on the same page in life anymore. You don’t communicate in the same way. You are hurting each other without trying. You simply love each other so much, but no matter what you do, that love isn’t enough to fix it.

RELATED: Getting Divorced Doesn’t Mean We Didn’t Fight For Our Marriage

The type of heartbreak that feels so easy to go back to. So easy to do the safe thing to avoid the pain. You feel like your issues aren’t big enough, aren’t bad enough, you don’t hate each other, so why not just make it work?

Until you realize that it can’t. You realize that every reason you got here is every reason you can’t go back. 

You must walk away from someone you still love.

Your best friend. Your constant. With no anger, no hate, just confusion. Just confusion on why a type of heartbreak like this exists. Confusion that we may never understand.

Why can’t love always be enough?

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available for pre-order now!

Pre-Order Now

Her View From Home

Millions of mothers connected by love, friendship, family and faith. Join our growing community. 1,000+ writers strong. We pay too!   Find more information on how you can become a writer on Her View From Home at https://herviewfromhome.com/contact-us/write-for-her//

Broken Hearts aren’t Just for The Young

In: Grief, Journal, Relationships
Broken Hearts aren't Just for The Young www.herviewfromhome.com

Hunched over the kitchen sink, beneath the dingy glow of fluorescent light, the wave hits me. I’m washing spoons caked with Greek yogurt and my blousy top is damp with sweat and water. The dishwasher leaves a white film on all the cutlery, and I ambitiously feel a desperate need to keep my mind busy, so out come the condom tight rubber gloves and lilac infused Palmolive.  Usually, if kept occupied with mindless tasks, I can keep the waves at bay. And nobody has more mindless tasks to do than a mother. There is always a dirty dish in the...

Keep Reading

5 Ways To Support a Friend Through a Hard Season of Marriage

In: Friendship, Marriage
Couple fighting

Hey friend, I’m having a hard time. I need you right now. Here’s how you can support me while I navigate this hard season in my marriage: 1. If it sounds bad, tell me. I might share something my partner did or said that’s really not OK, and I need you to be honest with me. Don’t gloss over it and pretend it’s not so bad. A while ago, a friend shared details of a fight she’d had with her now-ex-husband. She said, “He threw something at the wall. He kicked a desk. We yelled at each other until 3...

Keep Reading

The Day my Marriage Almost Ended

In: Faith, Grief, Relationships
The Day my Marriage Almost Ended www.herviewfromhome.com

We sat at the dusty, worn picnic table while our two daughters, who were six and eight at the time, swam at the crowded wave pool nearby. It was our annual summer family vacation, and while we were supposed to be having fun in the sun as a family, no one knew about the baggage that I had smuggled in because for the last three months I had been fully engaged in an extramarital affair. Humidity mingled with unwelcome tension was in the air, and I knew what my husband was about to ask me. In fact, I’d been waiting for...

Keep Reading