You probably won’t remember any of this, but I’ll forever be changed.

The way you first looked up at me after I dreamed for nine months about what that moment would be like.

The way you paused from nursing a couple months later just to smile up at me for the very first time.

The way you begged me to read Goodnight Gorilla or Guess How Much I Love You. And the first time you finished my sentence, saying “Back! Back!”

Yes, I love you right up to the moon and back a thousand times over, little bear.

You’ll probably never remember throwing rocks in the stream and making up your very first song—a song about rocks as you rocked back and forth while happily watching them splash and make ripples.

There’s no way for you to understand how you’ve expanded my heart.

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You’ll probably never remember how you used all the pots and pans and every can in the house to make a drum set. Or how you would jump off the couch into all the pillows on the floor with your Superman cape on.

I wonder if you’ll remember that day we spontaneously drove to the airport just to watch the planes fly by. The joy in your blue toddler eyes as I looked back at you in your car seat is something I’ll never forget.

Maybe all these moments shaped me far more than you.

Maybe you’ll forget how you loved to collect rocks and bugs and flowers for me. How you used to beg me to close my eyes to show me your newest surprise and insisted I keep it in a safe place for you.

I’ll always be here to hold these treasures in my heart for you.

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You might not remember the long nights of needing water or a hug or back rub . . . or crawling in bed close beside me in the early hours of the morning.

You may not recall making cardboard houses together or being late to church because I was putting finishing touches on your superhero cape. You might not remember building forts or flying kites, running through the sprinkler, blowing dandelion seeds, carving pumpkins, or jumping in the golden leaves . . .

But my heart will remember.

Because you’re imprinted on it. Every tear, every victory, every scribbled work of art.

These moments, these memories, this childhood with you . . . it’s a sacred treasure I’m honored to keep in the safest places of my heart. 

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Stephanie Kramm

I'm a wife and homeschool mama of four adventurous boys and two miscarried babies I look forward to holding in Heaven. I enjoy music, art, and rare quiet moments in nature with a book and some chai. My Master’s is in counseling and I am passionate about advocating for at-risk women and children around the globe. I’m a contributing writer for the facebook pages Snips & Snails & Warrior Tales and this mere breath.

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