Humor Kids Motherhood

Kids Are Gross: Mom Receives Hilarious Phone Call From School

Written by Ladye Hobson

My cell phone rings while I’m at work, and it’s my son’s school calling. This cannot be good. My mind goes straight to what sort of injury he has suffered, or what ridiculous prank he’s pulled that has landed him in the principal’s office. So I answer the call with hesitation in my voice.

“Ladye, this is Gayla (the principal – yeah, we’re on a first name basis if that tells you anything). I just called to let you know that Brylan has made my day.”

“Oh dear Lord, I am so glad to hear you say that you are calling for a good reason,” I say, relieved.

The principal proceeds to tell me, obviously holding back laughter, that the faculty has discovered a dead squirrel in my son’s backpack.

Please pause here to imagine my horror. To say I am embarrassed is an understatement. I. Am. Mortified. A dead squirrel? Why is it in his backpack? How did the squirrel die? And WHY in the world would he try to keep this dead animal in his backpack?

When asked by the principal what possessed him to pick up a dead squirrel and store it in his backpack, my son replies with “I really wanted squirrel dumplings for dinner.” She then asks me if I actually want the squirrel to come home with him. Ya’ll, I had to explain that we are from the country, but we are not THAT country!

Gayla asks permission to send me a photo, because “it looks so peaceful lying there in his bag.” I hate how right she is, because the poor little guy really is cute. And dead. And crawling with bugs. And in my son’s backpack. Oh, may I also point out that this is the $50 Pottery Barn backpack with his name embroidered that I splurged on just two months ago?

When I see Brylan three hours later he is still fighting tears, apologizing profusely. “Mom I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.” I ask him if he’s learned his lesson, smile, and let him know that he gets a free pass on this one. I can’t even be mad at this point. He has made the principal’s day, afterall.

I think after all of this the kid may darn well deserve some squirrel dumplings. Although, someone else will have to cook them for him because THIS mama will never!

For more parenting stories, find Her View From Home on Facebook!

 

About the author

Ladye Hobson

My name is Ladye (pronounced “lady”)… Being the mother of two amazing little boys has been the greatest blessing of my life. If you have kids you know that parenthood can also be an absolute mess at times, but it has motivated me to pursue my dreams no matter how difficult the journey. Find me online at https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheVintageLadye

  • http://CosmopolitanCornbread.com/ Constance

    Oh my heavens, that is too funny! Totally something my youngest would have done when he was little. That is a great memory that you have to hang on to as he grows up 🙂

    • Ladye Hobson

      Oh yes, this will be graduation and wedding material for sure!

  • Judy Derrickson

    I would cook it if it were fresh enough, but who knows how long this poor critter was dead?

  • Maggiejeaner

    This is so funny! Cute kid, sweet mom and cute squirrel (poor little thing)

    • Ladye Hobson

      Thank you dear 😘

  • Mary Burchett

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5f542506a343c91ecea8c1808fe451303c14c04237f0a0372dda907ed1dd783e.jpg

    My son at age 4 (24 years ago) couldn’t understand either why he could not keep his really cool dead squirrel. Little boys and their attractionto all things disgusting. lol

    • Ladye Hobson

      Lol! God bless them all.. 🙏🏼😄

  • homasapiens

    Oh how I needed to see that picture… of a dead squirrel, peacefully on its back in a kid’s backpack. Thank you, thank you!

  • Angela

    My son has the same backpack and same habit. No dead squirrel (yet). So far, he mostly collects rocks, acorns, and leaves. Though he did up the ante once and bring home a deer skull he found while hiking at nature camp this past summer. Lovely.

    • Ladye Hobson

      Ohhh Angela Brylan and your son would be best buds! I can’t even count how many times I’ve found acorns, rocks, sticks, old soda cans, etc. in his backpack, dirty laundry, and sometimes I don’t find it until I’m pulling clothes out of the washer. Lord help us!

  • Stephenie Lebel

    My little girl used to collect everyone’s fruit that they didn’t want – Apple’s, bananas, etc. – at lunch in kindergarten and stuff them into the pockets of her backpack. I didn’t know she was doing this for weeks until her backpack had a hoard of fruit flies around it at home and smelled like a bad bottle of wine and athletic socks. That’s when I went through all the pockets and discovered she was a fruit smuggler.

    • Ladye Hobson

      This is absolutely GREAT! Kids really do the darnedest things! 😄

  • siqass

    Really? Did you not read that the little boy was embarrassed and crying when he got home? Perhaps instead of judging the family, you should have passed the article on by. Your perspective offers nothing to the conversation.

    • Ladye Hobson

      Thank you for sticking up for us. 😉

  • Stacie

    I have a nephew with ADHD who comes home with pockets full of pencils that other kids drop in the hallways. Every. Single. Day. His mother is a teacher, so it all works out and the pencils get used eventually – probably often by the same students who dropped them in the first place, since he’s in her school. Now, we can say at least it’s not squirrels. 😛

    • Ladye Hobson

      I love this!

  • http://ahmetalpbalkan.com/ Ahmet Alp Balkan [[email protected]]

    #parentingfail

    • Ladye Hobson

      Thank you for passing judgement.

    • Karen Armstrong Nanan

      I don’t see how, in Any way, this would be a “parenting fail”….don’t be judging people and making someone feel bad about a situation they had no part in creating !

    • jeffreyg

      Ahmet, I believe you may be a #HumanFail

      Try raising kids before you comment on someones successes or failures.

      • Ladye Hobson

        ✊🏼 Thank you! JeffreyG and Karen. Raising kids is a tough job, and they do have curious little minds of their own.

      • jeffreyg

        I have an amazing 5 year old daughter and an awesome 12 year old boy. It would not shock me at all to open either of their backpacks and find a critter, dead or even more likely alive. She has certainly had her fair share of “pocket frogs”…..LOL

        They get it honestly! My poor, poor mother……LOL

  • Brianna LaPoint

    I cried laughing. I grew up in Texas

  • Brianna LaPoint

    I heard squirrel tasted like chicken . Wirth a try if you get a fresh one

  • Zebra126

    LOL !!! Squirrel dumplings !.. This will be a family story for generations …..

  • Ktycat53

    absolutelt precious!!

/* ]]> */