Free shipping on all orders over $75🎄

My milk drunk two-month old is burrowed in my arms. Coffee is at my side and a three-year old is still snuggled in bed. 

If someone knocked on my door right now I’d happily open my home so they could ooh and aaah over our precious new addition. I might even pour them a mug of the dark roast and settle down for a good chat. Perhaps even go so far as hand the babe over and jet to the shower. 

But those first few weeks after I delivered our third child- I wanted very few people in our home. 

Unless you were dropping off a casserole at the front door, were in my circle of bestest friends, or were my mom or mother-in-law I wanted you to stay away. Far away.

Gracious, that sounds awfully witchy, doesn’t it?

But hear me out. 

I live in a small-town. After I brought my first child home from the hospital I had unannounced guests popping in and out of my house all hours of the day. A fake smile was constantly splattered on my face. I even had a code word I set up to use so my husband and best friend could politely get uninvited company out of my house. Except when I winked and said that the “hummingbirds had been coming to the birdfeeder” my hubby and bestie forgot the code word and started small-talking about birds to the guests. Gah! 

It was exhausting and unsettling to my natural introverted nature. 

But third time is a charm, right? You live you learn. 

When I brought home my latest child I took a few precautions to avoid the influx of people. 

I sent out a text and posted on social media that I was taking a break from the world to love up on my kids. 

People got the message and this time I was graced with two weeks of recovery sans unannounced company. 

Here are five reasons why I didn’t want visitors post delivery:

1). Selfishness. This fresh newborn stage only lasts a wee bit and I want my arms to be holding this new child of mine. My nose soaking up the scent of baby. My lips giving smooches. A little selfish, but hey… I’m the one with the c-section battle scar.  To the victor go the spoils.

2). I’m bleeding.  Like everywhere. And I mean everywhere. My son told one friend, “We think baby might be a vampire because he’s drinking blood with his milk.”  Yeah…my I bled out of my chest. And that’s not the only place. I didn’t want to be feeling the grossest I’ve ever felt, small-talking about small-talk. 

3). Bra-free. Post delivery I want to lounge in my bed, in my pajamas, without a brassiere, with my newborn perched on my chest. The highly recommended skin-to-skin contact is hard if folks are all around me. Topless hosting is not exactly ideal attire.

4). Nursing.  Newborns eat around the clock. In the first few weeks nursing hurts like a mother. I’d bite my lips every time my little man latched on (yet another bleeding body part). My toes would curl from the pain. Adding a nursing cover to the mix (because I really didn’t want company to see my boobs) just added a whole other unwelcome dynamic. Plus I didn’t really want to cover my child with a blanket. I’d rather be privately sitting in my bed, without a shirt on- feeding/bonding with my child, than sitting on my couch, struggling with the newness of nursing, small-talking.

5). Sleep.  It doesn’t happen at night and it sure as heck won’t happen when company arrives. I just wanted to rest my eyes in peace. Or take a shower. Or veg out and watch a marathon of The Real Housewives

6). Germs. Enough said. 

So yes, I wasn’t exactly the epitome of etiquette when I placed the “Do Not Disturb” sign on my front door, but I did trust my mama bear instinct and kept my little cub right where I thought he belonged this go around- in my arms.

And I’m so happy I did protect my snuggle time. 

I look back at those first few weeks as genuine bliss (granted as blissful as exhaustion and deep pain go) instead of living in absolute mayhem.

But now… feel free to come on over! Just call first. 

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Sarah Philpott

Sarah Philpott Ph.D lives in the south east on a sprawling cattle farm where she raises her two mischievous children (with one on the way!) and is farm wife to her high school sweetheart. A former teacher, she now spends this season of her life cleaning peanut butter & jelly off the counter, dreaming of traveling the world, hosting “get-togethers” for her family & friends, and chasing her kids around the farm. Sarah is represented by The Blythe Daniel Literary Agency. You can visit with Sarah at her blog where she writes about cultivating a life of down-home simplicity. She also has a passion for helping women cope with pregnancy loss.

Brothers Fight Hard and Love Harder

In: Kids, Motherhood
Two boys play outside, one lifting the other on his back

The last few years have been a whirlwind. My head has sometimes been left spinning; we have moved continents with three boys, three and under at the time. Set up home and remained sufficiently organized despite the complete chaos to ensure everyone was where they were meant to be on most days. Living in a primarily hockey town, the winters are filled with coffee catch-ups at the arena, so it was no surprise when my youngest declared his intention to play hockey like his school friends. Fully aware that he had never held a hockey stick or slapped a puck,...

Keep Reading

Stop Putting an Expiration Date on Making Memories

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother and son in small train ride

We get 12 times to play Santa (if we’re lucky). This phrase stopped my scroll on a Sunday evening. I had an idea of the direction this post was going but I continued on reading. 12 spring breaks 12 easter baskets 20 tooth fairy visits 13 first days of school 1 first date 1-2 proms 1-2 times of seeing them in their graduation cap and gown 18 summers under the same roof And so on and so on. It was essentially another post listing the number of all the monumental moments that we, Lord willing, will get to experience with our...

Keep Reading

When Your Kids Ask, “Where Is God?”

In: Faith, Kids
Child looking at sunset

How do I know if the voice I’m hearing is God’s voice? When I was in high school, I found myself asking this question. My dad was a pastor, and I was feeling called to ministry. I didn’t know if I was just hearing my dad’s wish or the call of God. I was worried I was confusing the two. It turns out, I did know. I knew because I was raised to recognize the presence of God all around me. Once I knew what God’s presence felt like, I also knew what God’s voice sounded like. There is a...

Keep Reading

Go Easy On the Parents Who Refuse to Skip Naps

In: Kids, Motherhood
Two little boys and their sister walking down a gravel road, color photo

Greetings from a mom who is done with napping children. It’s great to have the flexibility during the day for longer activities, meeting friends for playdates, or day trips to faraway places. It’s a new life . . . the life without naps. The freedom to make plans and keep them. But not that long ago, I was something very different than the flexible, plan-keeping, up-for-it woman I am today. I used to be the mom who refused to skip my child’s nap. Yep, that one. Here’s the thing, for a lot of parents, It’s so much more than just a...

Keep Reading

My Heart Isn’t Ready for You to Stop Believing in Santa

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little boy standing in front of lit christmas tree

“My friend doesn’t believe in Santa anymore, Mom,” my son said out of the blue the other day. We were driving in the car, and when I met his gaze in the rear-view mirror his eyes searched mine. Immediately, my heart sank.  This sweet boy, he’s our first. Thoughtful and smart and eight years old. A quick Google search tells me that’s the average age kids stop believing in Santa, but as his mom, I’m not ready for that—not even a little bit.  I can still hear his barely 2-year-old voice going on about reindeer as we lay together on...

Keep Reading

Dear Kids, This Is My Wish for You

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother hugs three kids

To my kids, The world you’re stepping into is unlike anything I experienced at your age. It’s fast-paced, interconnected, and sometimes overwhelming. But within this chaos lie countless opportunities for growth and joy. My wish for you is that you find the perfect balance between embracing the modern world and staying true to yourselves. Change is one thing you can always count on. Embrace it because it’s often the motivation for growth. Embracing change doesn’t mean letting go of who you are; rather, it’s about evolving into the best version of yourself. Remember, you don’t need to have all the...

Keep Reading

Motherhood is a Million Little Letting Gos and Fresh Hellos

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother sitting with child on her lap by the setting sun and water

I missed my grocery-shopping buddy the other day. Mondays are usually the days my littlest and I knock out our grocery list. In the past, we’ve dropped the kids at school and then headed to the store. I grab a latte, and she chooses a hot chocolate. But that day, they were all in school. That day, she sat in her kindergarten class, and I went to the grocery store. Alone. A new rhythm. A changed routine. A different season. I listened to a podcast on the drive. My podcast. Then I grabbed a drink. Just one. I got the...

Keep Reading

Dear Daughter, Stay Wild

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother and daughter on beach, color photo

I can’t really put my finger on it. Or manage to find all the words. But there’s just something about that girl. Maybe it’s the way her hair sits tangled. Curled up at the end. The way she moves. Dances. As if everyone was watching. Or no one at all. RELATED: There is Wild Beauty in This Spirited Child of Mine It could be the way she smiles. With her heart. The way only she can. The way she cares, loves. For everyone. For herself. You see, she is beautiful in the way only wild things are. The way they...

Keep Reading

You’re Becoming a Big Sister, But You’ll Always Be My Baby

In: Baby, Kids, Motherhood
Pregnant woman with young daughter, color photo

The anticipation of welcoming a new baby into the world is an exciting and joyous time for our family. From the moment we found out we were expecting to just about every day since, the love and excitement only continue to grow. However, amidst all the preparations for the new addition, I cannot help but have mixed emotions as I look back at old videos and pictures of my firstborn, my first princess, my Phoebe—for she will always hold a special place in my heart. As the anticipation grows, my heart swells with a mix of emotions knowing we are...

Keep Reading

Cowgirls Don’t Cry Unless the Horse They Loved Is Gone

In: Grief, Kids, Loss
Little girls Toy Story Jessie costume, color photo

The knee of my pants is wet and dirty. My yellow ring lays by the sink—it’s been my favorite ring for months. I bought it to match Bigfoot’s halter and the sunflowers by his pasture. Bigfoot is my daughter’s pony, and I loved him the most. The afternoon is so sunny. His hooves make the same calming rhythm I’ve come to love as I walk him out back. A strong wind blows through the barn. A stall labeled “Bigfoot,” adorned with a sunflower, hangs open and I feel sick. I kneel down by his side as he munches the grass....

Keep Reading