A Gift for Mom! 🤍

Dear Husband, Save Some of Yourself For Me

4 Minute Read

By Jordan Harrell

Woman about to kiss man — Breslavtsev Oleg/Shutterstock.com

Dear husband,

Your work ethic is one of the reasons I fell in love with you. You’re disciplined, determined, tougher than anyone I know. You motivate and encourage me in spaces I’d otherwise be lazy. I need those parts of you (even though they sometimes drive me crazy) to balance out my more “laid-back” parts, to put it nicely.

You are so dang good at what you do. And to be so good it takes time. Lots of time.

There are some days you walk through the door and I just know you’re worn out and have nothing left for us.

And it’s so hard because I know you’re tired. I see the weariness in your body. I see the heaviness in your eyes.

I know you woke up in the pitch black of morning. I know you probably spent the entire day putting out fires, using up every last bit of energy taking care of things I don’t even know about. I know you’d probably like to walk straight into our bedroom, turn off the lights, and just lie there, motionless. Alone.

RELATED: My Husband Works So Hard For Us

But here’s the thing. Even now after years of marriage and babies and life, I still want you, EVERY PART OF YOU, heart, mind, and soul.

So please, save some of yourself for me.

One of my biggest fears is waking up one day to find we’re strangers. Not because we didn’t love each other enough but because we were too tired to find each other.

I hate this feeling of distance, like you’re holding me at arm’s length, even if it’s just to protect me. Protect me from work. Protect me from hard stories. Protect me from the anxieties racing through your head.

No matter what, I love you. And I want to know you. ALL OF YOU.

I want to know everything.

I want to know your innermost thoughts and struggles and what you ate for breakfast.

I want to know your fears and doubts and also what Brian said that was so hilarious.

If there is something going on in your life, just something that happened in your day, even if it’s totally stupid or just a weird, funny story . . . gosh, I want to know. Not because it’s important but because I want to be a part of your life.

RELATED: Dear Husband, I Am With You Even When it’s Hard

I care about the mundane in your life and the everyday silly parts, because I care about YOU—and I want to know all I can. It fuels me. It draws me closer to you. I don’t want to live separate lives. I want to be ONE.

I hope you hear love in this more than criticism. I hope you hear me saying I love you so much, that my desire is to be more connected, which is a good thing. Please don’t hear me saying you’re not good enough or doing enough. That’s not it at all. If anything, you’re doing more than is humanly possible, and I question how you’re still standing some days.

I want to be your biggest supporter. Let me support you.

So save some of yourself for me, for the kids, for home. We love you so much.

Love,

Your wife

This post originally appeared on the author’s blog

Marriage takes work. Thankfully, there’s an app that can help! Lasting—the nation’s #1 relationship counseling app—provides accessible sessions designed to help you build a healthy marriage. Download and take Lasting’s free Relationship Health Assessment.

Recommendations in this post contain affiliate links. Her View From Home may receive a small commission if you choose to purchase.

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Jordan Harrell

Jordan writes about the days with her three kids and wonderful husband to help her get through the days with her three kids and wonderful husband. She's really good at eating chocolate, over-analyzing everything, and forgetting stuff. In 2017, Jordan founded fridaynightwives.com, a blog and boutique that serves as a ministry for coaches' wives. You can find her at jordanharrell.com, Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter.

The Hardest Part of Divorce Is Being Away from My Kids

In: Living, Marriage, Motherhood

I’ve written several times about how divorce has allowed me to find myself again, and how that version is even better than the one I was before I was married. All of that is still true. I am happier than I’ve ever been. More confident and sure of myself. I understand my emotions and how to handle myself when things get tough or scary. I am more grounded and calm than I’ve ever been. Truly, I have come out on top. I’ve received comments about how happy I look, how I’m “living my best life with kids only half the...

Keep Reading

Dear Daddy, I Wish You Could See Yourself As We Do

In: Living, Marriage

The side of my husband who is hardest on himself usually shows up late at night. The house is quiet, the kids are finally asleep, and the day has done what it always does—taken everything it could from both of us. That’s usually when it comes out. The voice in his head that tells him he’s not doing enough as a father. Not present enough. Not patient enough. Not good enough. He doesn’t say it lightly. He says it like someone confessing a truth he wishes wasn’t true. Like he’s already measured himself against some invisible standard of fatherhood and...

Keep Reading

To the Woman Who Was Betrayed

In: Living, Marriage

He promised you a lifetime, a family, safety, and security. You carried life and brought it into this world for him. Even still, in the trenches of postpartum, he betrayed you. It was never your fault. This is something I’ve fought to tell myself every single day since the day I discovered my marriage was never meant to last. Because the truth is, betrayal is never about you; it’s about them, and the character flaws deep within they’d rather bury than face. He watched as you fought for your life after delivery while your tiny, premature newborn spent the first...

Keep Reading

10 Things I Wish I’d Known Before My Marriage Ended

In: Marriage

I’m a year and a half into my still-husband filing for a divorce I didn’t see coming (but probably should have), and I’m here to say: hindsight doesn’t yield perfect vision, but it does bring clarity. While that clarity might not always make perfect sense, it does make processing it all a bit more tangible. Here are 10 things I wish I knew before my marriage ended–abruptly and unilaterally. Effort should feel mutual, not one-sided and minimal. The handmade birthday weekend itineraries year after year, the endless putting-him-on-a-pedestal, the desperate asks to go out on actual dates, the late-night research...

Keep Reading

Love Is Saying “I’m Still Here”

In: Marriage

Some days don’t feel romantic at all. They feel like alarms going off too early, coffee gone cold, kids who need everything at once, and a to-do list that keeps growing no matter how much you check off. They feel like passing each other in the kitchen with tired eyes and half-finished sentences. They feel like wondering how it’s only Tuesday. And yet, somewhere in the middle of all that, there’s this quiet, steady thing holding it together. Not fireworks. Not big, sweeping moments. Just a simple, consistent choice. We’re still in this. Together. Marriage, at its core, isn’t built...

Keep Reading

No One Plans to Wear the “Scarlet Letter” of Divorce

In: Living, Marriage

Divorce often feels like the scarlet letter no one talks about. Some in our generation may call it “trendy”—particularly as women have become more independent and empowered—but whether it’s socially acceptable or not, it is still a label no woman enters marriage expecting to wear. Women are often self-sacrificing—sometimes to a fault. We give and give until our souls feel nearly drained. And in marriages marked by abuse, substance abuse, infidelity, inconsistency, or dishonesty, we still convince ourselves that if we just give a little more, love a little harder, try a little longer, something will change. Divorce is not...

Keep Reading

I Still Can’t Believe You’re Mine

In: Marriage

I still can’t believe you’re mine. Lately, I’ve found myself reflecting on how far we’ve come—two babies, multiple moves, and the weight of a world that hasn’t always been kind. There were seasons when things felt uncertain. Seasons when growth hurt. Seasons when staying required more strength than leaving ever would have. I know not everyone believed we would make it this far. But it was always you. God was leading me to you long before I understood it. In ways I couldn’t see at the time, He was writing a story bigger than my fears, bigger than my doubts,...

Keep Reading

True Love Is Built In the Moments No One Sees

In: Marriage

There is nothing simple about raising a medically complex child. We carry emergency plans the way others carry wallets. Med lists are memorized. Hospital routes are second nature. We measure time in seizures, appointments, medication schedules, and recovery windows. Early Monday morning, after our 10-year-old autistic son was sedated for stitches following a seizure fall, he was sick. My husband held him upright while he vomited. I grabbed towels, trying to catch what I could. We moved in sync—no discussion, no drama, just instinct and practice. And I thought about our marriage. It isn’t glitz and glamour. It’s not candlelit...

Keep Reading

We Fall In Love a Million Times

In: Marriage

Recently, I read a picture book to my children titled Would I Trade My Parents? The book is about a little boy who wishes he could exchange his parents for his friends’ parents. But in the end, he remembers all the amazing things his parents do for him and realizes he wouldn’t trade them after all. He knows they’re the best. After reading this book, my immediate thought was there should be a book for couples called Would I Trade My Partner? Because while we can’t trade our children (or our parents), we most certainly can trade our spouses if we really...

Keep Reading

As a Newly-Single Mom, I’m Learning How To Parent Alone

In: Marriage, Motherhood

Mother with little girl on piggyback walking down road

I have four beautiful children. Each of them is unique, full of purpose, and wonderfully made by God. Being their mom is my greatest joy and my biggest challenge. As a newly single mom, the normal things of adolescence I used to have help governing are now much more difficult to navigate. I constantly worry my unhealed trauma is going to spill out onto my kids and mess them up. Who’s with me? I have teenage daughters. That fact in and of itself is frightening. It is so easy to let them down. I try to meet them where they...

Keep Reading

We Solved All Your Valentine's Day Gift Problems: 20 Unique Ideas to Make Your Wife Feel Loved

Marriage

We Solved All Your Valentine's Day Gift Problems: 20 Unique Ideas to Make Your Wife Feel Loved

Our House isn't Fancy, But it's Our Home

Living

Dear Husband, Save Some of Yourself For Me

There are some days you walk through the door and I just know you’re worn out and have nothing left for us.

RELATED: My Husband Works So Hard For Us

So please, save some of yourself for me.

I want to know everything.

RELATED: Dear Husband, I Am With You Even When it’s Hard

I want to be your biggest supporter. Let me support you.

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Jordan Harrell

The Hardest Part of Divorce Is Being Away from My Kids

Dear Daddy, I Wish You Could See Yourself As We Do

To the Woman Who Was Betrayed

10 Things I Wish I’d Known Before My Marriage Ended

Love Is Saying “I’m Still Here”

No One Plans to Wear the “Scarlet Letter” of Divorce

I Still Can’t Believe You’re Mine

True Love Is Built In the Moments No One Sees

We Fall In Love a Million Times

As a Newly-Single Mom, I’m Learning How To Parent Alone

Get It Now

So God Made a Mother

Dear Husband, Save Some of Yourself For Me

There are some days you walk through the door and I just know you’re worn out and have nothing left for us.

So please, save some of yourself for me.

I want to know everything.

I want to be your biggest supporter. Let me support you.

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

The Hardest Part of Divorce Is Being Away from My Kids

Dear Daddy, I Wish You Could See Yourself As We Do

To the Woman Who Was Betrayed

10 Things I Wish I’d Known Before My Marriage Ended

Love Is Saying “I’m Still Here”

No One Plans to Wear the “Scarlet Letter” of Divorce

I Still Can’t Believe You’re Mine

True Love Is Built In the Moments No One Sees

We Fall In Love a Million Times

As a Newly-Single Mom, I’m Learning How To Parent Alone

Previous Post

Next Post

You May Also Like