By Grace Thomas 
Thud. I turned and saw my baby on the concrete and gasped in disbelief. My husband reached down as our baby screamed and flailed his arms. He had a bright red bump on his head that was dripping blood. We forgot to buckle him in after Bible study!
I saw another family leaving the study. “Help! My son just fell out of his car seat!” The man ran over—by God’s grace, he was a nurse. He shined a flashlight in my baby’s blue eyes and gave us instructions. “Keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn’t vomit.” I brushed away my tears and nodded, hugging my son tightly as he whimpered.
We put him back in the car seat and buckled every latch. I sat in the backseat and held my breath as we drove home. I glanced at my baby and let my shoulders drop. That night, I had a brush with one of my greatest fears—losing someone I love.
The incident sparked more fear. What if this accident leads to long-term damage? What if this happens again, and someone isn’t around to help? I wanted to dwell on the worry, but I couldn’t show hospitality to the anxiety. I had to let peace and the grace of God rule in my heart and mind.
That was easier said than done.
My lips quivered as I cleaned up my son’s wound and laid him down to sleep, trusting he’d be okay, and trusting the Lord is good, even in the bad, scary, and ugly times.
As a new mom, I can’t depend on myself for wisdom or strength. But I hesitate to trust the Lord because I doubt His goodness. I’m afraid He may take away my loved ones, and instead of praying, I worry. But when I’m scared, I can remember Peter’s words: “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7 NLT). When I doubt Christ’s character amidst my changing circumstances, I can remember His unchanging promise—He cares. His character remains the same: “Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and forever” (Hebrews 13:8).
After that scary fall, my son woke up content in his crib with a gummy smile. The bump scarred, and the blood was gone. But then I saw the car seat and was overwhelmed by more fear. Maybe I’ll drop him again. What if I forget to buckle him in again? What happens if there is permanent damage?
When questions like these threatened my peace, I reminded myself of my broken state. “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9). On the inside, I had a scar too. My heart was scarred with sin, and I needed someone to help. Thankfully, nurses can help the physical body, but only the Lord can repair broken hearts. So often, I trust myself and doubt the promises and goodness of the Lord. But instead of carrying my worries and trying to fix things myself, I can surrender to the healer of hearts and scars.
I’m learning to trust the Lord. I’m learning to give Him my worries instead of ruminating on worst-case scenarios. My faith is shaped by bumps and scars, but it’s stronger than it was before. Sometimes scars stay—but so does growth and hope.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30, ESV)
by Courtney Devich 
by Jheri Jordan 
