Growing up, I always knew I had a sister in Heaven.

I remember talking to her as a child. I would promise that I would make all the right choices so I could join her in Heaven one day. For me, she had personality and vitality, and she was waiting for me to join her so we could fulfill our role as sisters. Her name is Jennifer.

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Knowing Jennifer was there, feeling that she was cheering me on and waiting for me had a profound effect as a child. I believe this to have been for good.

Miscarriage and child loss is coming out of the silence it has been held in for generations. I believe this is better for everyone this loss touches.

There is no reason to hide your story of miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, or lost children from your other children. It can be a boon to them as Heaven and the people there become real to them. And to you, as they keep the memory of that little one you lost alive. These are the family members who will keep their name alive and in use. They will help you cherish that sweet spirit who was gone too soon.

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Often we feel as parents, we need to shield our children from loss. It’s painful, and we don’t like our loved ones experiencing pain. But pain and grief are going to be part of their lives. We can never run away from it.

Sharing with your children your feelings of loss and grief teaches them how to handle grief.

This way when it is their turn to experience profound loss, they’ll have a road map of how to handle it.

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Just as parents grieve the children they have lost through miscarriage, stillbirth, and other death, we don’t realize the profound effect it can have on siblings. They, too, will mourn the loss of that expected brother or sister. Their lost playmate.

Telling your story is good for your soul. And honestly, what parent wouldn’t want a sibling, like I have, for their children to look up to and help them strive for Heaven?

Calleen Petersen

An Ordinary Mom who believes in standing up, speaking out, and sharing her truths. A student of psychology. I write about disabilities, parenthood, life, and my thoughts. You can find me at An Ordinary Mom's Musings.