Friendly advice: Don’t fail to realize how much you love something until it’s gone. This goes for so many things in life.

The calls from your mom reminding you of mundane things. “Don’t forget your warm coat.” “Did you remember to eat lunch?” I am 44, and no joke, my mom reminds me to go to the bathroom before a long drive. It’s hilarious. I’m old enough to know that someday I will absolutely ache for these calls in the morning. Someday I would give anything to have these reminders. So, I take it all in, I roll with it, and I have a laugh about it.

I once had a friend who was the life of the party. Best laugh. She never married and settled down. I did. And we lost touch. We were so close, and I got busy. He’s been gone five years, and when he died, he was mad at me. People tell me it’s not my fault—everyone knew he was a handful. No amount of reassurance or self-talk will take away the guilt I feel for drifting apart. I can’t change it now, but in the middle of my grief, I made a promise to myself—a promise that I will never again allow being busy to dictate a relationship. If I ever drift from someone I care about again, it definitely won’t be on my account.

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Walking by babies on airplanes always makes me weepy. That stage was so hard. SO HARD. Now it’s over, and I miss those chubby little hands, the snuggles, the safety of sitting up in the night with your baby and feeling like no one else in the world was awake. Pajamas with snaps all the way to the toes. Pacifiers and sippy cups and soft blankets. Round heads with short hair, and the softest skin you’ve ever felt. I soaked it up then. I have no regrets, but man, I’d love to go back for just a day and know my kids in that way again.

I’m embarrassed thinking about how 25-year-old me, spoke about her body. Never being the rail-thin girl, I longed for a straight simple body instead of the curvy one I was born with. Dieting and exercise videos, going up and down five pounds, and thinking about it—a lot. As I got older and had three babies, it turned into trying to get back to some unattainable goal. Finally, two things happened: I had a daughter, and my best friend battled breast cancer. And man, I care a heck of a lot less about what size jeans I’m wearing or how I look in swimsuit. What a waste! I’m lucky to even be here, and anyone who cares about me being slightly bigger or smaller needs to find something else to focus on.

Having little kids really puts the romance on the back burner. This is a brief time in my marriage where kids are constantly interrupting our sleep, our conversations, our TV nights, our relationship. But I know this . . . there will come a day when I long for the quiet nights of Netflix in our den. The times of trying to sneak into another room together on vacation and the kids all busting in. The nights at home finally getting a chance to talk after the kids are all in bed—I’ll miss this. Someday we will have all the freedom in the world, and I’ll miss this, right here, right now.

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I know now, with all things, not to get wrapped up in somedays. Someday it will be better. Someday I’ll finally get together with that old friend, learn that skill. Someday the kids will be bigger, and it will be easier. Someday we will have a better marriage once this phase is over. Someday I’ll pursue that dream.

This. Is. It. And what I know for sure is the things I regret most are the things I didn’t immerse myself in when I had the chance. The times when I wasn’t all in. So, wherever you are, whatever phase of life you are in, just be all in. You’ll miss it . . . even if it’s hard.