Even Though She's In Heaven I Still Need My Mom

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It’s been years since my mom died and although many days it does seem that it has gotten easier, there are also many days that bring me right back to the forefront of my grief and are super hard all over again.

Some of the hardest days include those moments when I have a big decision at hand or important news to share. Having a big decision and not having my biggest supporter and my voice of reason to talk through it is one of the hardest realities. Sure, I have people to talk to and help me through, but none of them are my mom.

My dad will say to me, “Talk to your mom, you know she’s always there to guide you.”

And as much as part of me believes that, it is just plain hard that I don’t have her here in person to discuss these things with.

RELATED: No Amount of Time Will Fix the Fact That My Mom isn’t Here

Regardless, I still do talk to her. I ask her for advice, and I ask her to help guide me in the right direction. I beg her to send me a sign or help the right answer fall into my lap. The craziest part—things often do work out right around the time I am asking for her assistance. She always seems to point me in the right direction.

I still need her to talk me through the big stuff. I still need her to share the little news with. I still need her to share all the big things happening.

I still need her.

These conversations are emotional. I often cry. I often get frustrated that I’m talking to the sky instead of to my mom in person. It often seems very cruel and unfair.

RELATED: You Call Your Mom While I’m Left Wishing I Could

I’m not sure I’ll ever be too old to stop needing my mom. I don’t think there will ever come a time when enough time has passed that I don’t need to talk to her about the things happening in my life.

I am always going to want and, frankly, NEED her to continue to be part of things. So even if for some it seems crazy, I will never stop talking with her, no matter how far the physical distance between us may be.

She is always with me, guiding me.

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Christie Lynn

I’m a 26 year old social worker and blogger using my words and experiences to help others though hardship, grief and mother loss.

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Even Though She’s in Heaven, I Still Need My Mom

My dad will say to me, “Talk to your mom, you know she’s always there to guide you.”

RELATED: No Amount of Time Will Fix the Fact That My Mom isn’t Here

I still need her.

RELATED: You Call Your Mom While I’m Left Wishing I Could

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Her View Shop

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5 Ways to Connect with Your Kids

Even Though She’s in Heaven, I Still Need My Mom

My dad will say to me, “Talk to your mom, you know she’s always there to guide you.”

I still need her.

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Her View Shop

As Long as It Beats, a Grieving Heart Lives with the Pain of Loss

6 Things You Can Do Now to Help Kids Remember Their Grandparents

I’m Not Ready for Life Without My Mom

Since She Left

I Carried You for Just 17 Weeks but I’ll Hold You in My Heart Forever

To the Woman Longing to Become a Mother

I Was There to Walk My Mother to Heaven

To the Loss Mom Whose Tears Keep Her Company Tonight

Cowgirls Don’t Cry Unless the Horse They Loved Is Gone

Supporting the Grievers in the Aftermath of Suicide

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