I have a love hate with volunteering. I really do. I love to be involved and dig in to committee work, but I get mad at myself when I don’t say no. Ugh! What is wrong with me? I need to say no more often. And so, here we are in another year and I find myself full swing on the volunteer train again. Love it, hate it.

I think for me it is working a long day, coming home and making dinner, sitting down for the first time to mindless TV, then realizing, “Oh gosh I have a meeting.”  It is cold and dark outside and you trek out for an hour or more of a meeting. Dred. Sounds super negative, I know. Then why do it? It is instilled in me. To give back and to be involved. It is the love of community. I just need to find a better balance and it is totally my fault.

 My theme for this year is to slow down and relax a bit. How is it working out so far? Not good. I can’t. I promised myself I would slow down with the volunteer effort but finding myself committing to more things. Why in the heck do I do this to myself?

I have a few rules about volunteering. I do think my time is valuable, I have boundaries. I work full time, I am busy raising family and need to put my health and my faith life first before everything else. And, keep up with my kids activities. I won’t miss a concert, track meet or school event. My kid’s events trump all other volunteer efforts.

I have trouble saying no. I am bad at that. My husband says so too. I allow myself to get involved with three things a year (or try to stick to that rule). As long as the commitments can be done over a lunch hour meeting and not too many night meetings. Night meetings are a killer for me. I think I mentioned that. The three requirements for volunteering for an event or organization are: 1) am I passionate about it? 2) Is it a cause I believe in? 3) Can I network and develop my professional career?

For the record—I am passionate and believe in all of it, I just have to categorize in my own brain the three things that mean the most to me. Word spreads when you volunteer and you volunteer well. I mean, when you show up to a meeting and take a task and follow through, word spreads that you are organized, reliable. Darn it! Why do I have to be that way? I am getting more calls.

Maybe if I showed up for committee work and didn’t say a thing or didn’t volunteer for a task—or even better, joined an organization and never showed up at all. Yes, that is it! That is what I will do. Not. That is not ingrained in my soul to do that. I am joiner, doer as they say.

I have bitten off more than I can chew sometimes, had to retract and take a step back…bow out. That is not easy for me. In fact, it is really, really hard to say, “ I can’t do this—this is too much.”

Back to my three causes. The first one, being passionate is a cause that is near and dear to my heart is our LOSS Team in Kearney. Local Outreach to Suicide Survivors. I am committed and I am passionate. Not just because I lost my brother to suicide—but I feel passionate about helping people that have gone through the loss of a loved one to suicide. I have put my grief in to action.

Recently, I was asked to be on the Habitat for Humanity board. I was flattered to be asked but to be honest, I don’t know much about the organization. I have volunteered a few times to serve lunches and deliver devotions during Habitat build day, but a hammer and nails and me? Well, let’s just hope some of my talents and resources don’t involve tools. Not good. I am excited to dig in and learn more about Habitat.

The third is networking/community. I am a big believer in Chamber of Commerce and networking and community and love our Envoy group. It is like a Chamber ambassador group. I have found great friendships and have fun at every event I attend. From business after hours to ribbon cuttings, the business community in Kearney is awesome and I am glad to be part of it.

My goal for volunteering this year is commitment and keeping up with all the demands. One thing I always try to do is be a good volunteer. Once I commit—I commit. Which means to me showing up to meetings, not just filling a seat but being present and take on a task or two.

Sometimes I get overwhelmed with it all and wonder why in the heck I put myself in a situation of doing too much. In one week, I was asked to volunteer and help with six different events. Really? Can’t you find someone else? Thank you –but gosh, you are the 100^th person to ask me to do something this week. No. I was overwhelmed. Grateful that they trusted in my abilities to carry out a task but my brain kept asking, “Can someone else do this?”

I am whining, but I am also thankful. Thankful to live in a community with so many volunteer options. I feel guilty that I can’t do it all. I often say that if I won the lottery (yeah, right!), I would be the best darn volunteer ever.

I guess the message is, overall, it is so important to volunteer in the communities we live, but find the balance. Once you join a group or organization you are passionate about, you will be inspired. Get involved and be present. Let your light shine bright.