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I Didn’t Understand My Husband’s Anxiety Until I Lived it, Too

In: Marriage

2 Minute Read

By Shannon Wilson

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Once upon a time, my husband had thoughts that twisted his mental energy up like a cyclone that spun and spun and spun.

Thoughts that didn’t make any sense to me—anxious, snapping thoughts about invisible maybes, one in a million what-ifs.

They plagued him constantly, pinging from a radar of worry that only he could detect.

I went about reasoning with him about those spiraling thoughts, untangling them with logic and realism and reassurances.

When that failed, I aimed mutters under my breath his way, sighs of frustration, eyes and pride rolling. Sometimes I laughed right at him as if his fear was ridiculous.

These were the terrible gifts I presented to the man I love.

Then my turn came. In the blink of an eye, my mind took a sharp veer from the way it had always operated, and I entered a new terrain—rocky with fear, landmines of what-ifs blowing up in my face at every step.

RELATED: My Husband Battles Mental Illness Every Day and I Choose to Fight With Him

I was utterly . . .

Bewildered.

Shellshocked.

Weak.

Afraid.

Devastated.

Exhausted.

Ashamed.

Ashamed as I wore the shoes my husband had worn for so long, as I closed the same cell door behind me that had locked him in for so long.

Ashamed that I had added those terrible gifts to his burden.

I deserved to suffer in solitude, what penance was there for heaping hurt when love was the answer?

RELATED: To the Husband Whose Wife Has Depression

And yet . . .

He didn’t treat me the way I deserved.

His heart had been shaped by a cross that hadn’t treated him the way he deserved.

And so. . .

Incredibly,

Humbly,

Kindly,

Patiently.

He moved toward me with a compassionate heart.

Bearing with me.

Forgiving me.

Applying the seal of Gospel love to my broken places.

He knew how to give me good gifts, ones that His Father, the Father of Lights, had handed down to him.

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Shannon Wilson

Shannon Wilson was born, raised and is still living in North Carolina, where she enjoys being sandwiched perfectly between the beach and the mountains. She lives happily with husband and son, otherwise known as “her boys,” and their geriatric poodle, Lucy. Shannon’s passion is to write and speak about the riches of God’s Word and encourage women to live out the Gospel in their daily lives. She loves reading, coffee, shopping, adding just one more accessory to her outfit, and spending time with her family. Connect with her on Twitter or intstagram @shannonhw, or at http://www.shannonhwilson.com/about

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I Didn’t Understand My Husband’s Anxiety Until I Lived it, Too

I went about reasoning with him about those spiraling thoughts, untangling them with logic and realism and reassurances.

RELATED: My Husband Battles Mental Illness Every Day and I Choose to Fight With Him

Ashamed that I had added those terrible gifts to his burden.

RELATED: To the Husband Whose Wife Has Depression

Bearing with me.

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Shannon Wilson

I Still Can’t Believe You’re Mine

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I Know Good Fathers Exist—Because I’m Married To One

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Get It Now

So God Made a Mother

I Didn’t Understand My Husband’s Anxiety Until I Lived it, Too

I went about reasoning with him about those spiraling thoughts, untangling them with logic and realism and reassurances.

Ashamed that I had added those terrible gifts to his burden.

Bearing with me.

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

I Still Can’t Believe You’re Mine

True Love Is Built In the Moments No One Sees

We Fall In Love a Million Times

As a Newly-Single Mom, I’m Learning How To Parent Alone

My Husband Is By My Side Through Every Storm

The Love Story Built on Paper and Perseverance

Even When Marriage Is Good, It Can Leave You Exhausted

I Know Good Fathers Exist—Because I’m Married To One

I Love the Man Behind the Beard

Dear Husband, Let’s Chase a Love That Still Chooses

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