A Gift for Mom! 🤍

I Love My Husband, But He Rarely Gets the Best of Me

3 Minute Read

By Kelli Bachara

I Love My Husband, But He Rarely Gets the Best of Me www.herviewfromhome.com — fizkes/Shutterstock.com

I went to premarital counseling, I read the books, I know the rule: if you want to have a healthy and happy marriage, you should keep your spouse first. I love the idea of having my husband be my priority and putting our relationship above everything else.

If I’m brutally honest though, this usually isn’t the case. Not only do my kids get more of my time and energy, but they also get way more of my patience, kindness and grace.

Let me share some examples.

My toddler will destroy our home seconds after I finally got it clean. I sigh, shake my head, and think to myself, “Man, kids are messy.”

My husband will leave a pair of shoes next to the front door and I make a passive aggressive comment about how hard it must be for him to put those shoes in the closet two feet away.

My kids will scream and tantrum over me not cutting an apple correctly. I try to calm them, hug them, and talk them through the tantrum until we find a resolution.

My husband will be slightly “short” with me (usually just because he’s tired) and I become offended by how he is treating me.

My kids keep me up all night, every single night and every day I remind myself that they are worth getting up for, worth being tired for, and that this season will pass.

My husband breathes heavily once in his sleep and I have visuals in my mind about duct-taping his mouth shut.

You see, it’s not that I don’t love my husband because I absolutely adore that man. But he rarely gets the best of me.

I know how bad this all sounds. Truly, I know it isn’t right.

Sometimes it feels like I only have so much patience to give, and I just assume the kids need it more than he does. Somewhere in my mind I believe I could do damage to my children by not being as patient and kind to them. So I work really hard at being a grace-filled and calm mom. And honestly, I’m pretty good at it.

Truthfully, I have come to believe that my husband can handle me when I’m empty, so I might as well put the best parts of me, and my energy, towards the kids.

Poor guy.

The real truth is, I could do a lot of damage to my marriage, too.

A good, healthy marriage doesn’t come naturally and it requires my time and effort. It needs my kindness, grace and patience.

What a bummer it would be to neglect our marriage during this time and then find later on that I don’t even know how to pour into him because I haven’t in years.

So today, I choose to be a little more balanced in where I put my time and energy. I choose to intentionally show my husband kindness and love.

At the end of the day, he is the one who stays when the kids grow and leave.

He is the one I get to do this life with.

And that is a blessing that deserves so much of my effort.

You may also like:

To My Husband—I Don’t Say It Enough: Thank You For Being Our Everything

We Choose Our Covenant Every Day

Dear Husband, I Loved You First

Want more stories of love, family, and faith from the heart of every home, delivered straight to you? Sign up here!

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Kelli Bachara

Kelli Bachara is a wife and mom to two sweet kiddos. She is a mental health therapist, writer, and podcaster. Kelli loves her Goldendoodle, coffee, and this beautiful thing called life. You can find her at www.kellibachara.com.

No One Plans to Wear the “Scarlet Letter” of Divorce

In: Living, Marriage

Divorce often feels like the scarlet letter no one talks about. Some in our generation may call it “trendy”—particularly as women have become more independent and empowered—but whether it’s socially acceptable or not, it is still a label no woman enters marriage expecting to wear. Women are often self-sacrificing—sometimes to a fault. We give and give until our souls feel nearly drained. And in marriages marked by abuse, substance abuse, infidelity, inconsistency, or dishonesty, we still convince ourselves that if we just give a little more, love a little harder, try a little longer, something will change. Divorce is not...

Keep Reading

I Still Can’t Believe You’re Mine

In: Marriage

I still can’t believe you’re mine. Lately, I’ve found myself reflecting on how far we’ve come—two babies, multiple moves, and the weight of a world that hasn’t always been kind. There were seasons when things felt uncertain. Seasons when growth hurt. Seasons when staying required more strength than leaving ever would have. I know not everyone believed we would make it this far. But it was always you. God was leading me to you long before I understood it. In ways I couldn’t see at the time, He was writing a story bigger than my fears, bigger than my doubts,...

Keep Reading

True Love Is Built In the Moments No One Sees

In: Marriage

There is nothing simple about raising a medically complex child. We carry emergency plans the way others carry wallets. Med lists are memorized. Hospital routes are second nature. We measure time in seizures, appointments, medication schedules, and recovery windows. Early Monday morning, after our 10-year-old autistic son was sedated for stitches following a seizure fall, he was sick. My husband held him upright while he vomited. I grabbed towels, trying to catch what I could. We moved in sync—no discussion, no drama, just instinct and practice. And I thought about our marriage. It isn’t glitz and glamour. It’s not candlelit...

Keep Reading

We Fall In Love a Million Times

In: Marriage

Recently, I read a picture book to my children titled Would I Trade My Parents? The book is about a little boy who wishes he could exchange his parents for his friends’ parents. But in the end, he remembers all the amazing things his parents do for him and realizes he wouldn’t trade them after all. He knows they’re the best. After reading this book, my immediate thought was there should be a book for couples called Would I Trade My Partner? Because while we can’t trade our children (or our parents), we most certainly can trade our spouses if we really...

Keep Reading

As a Newly-Single Mom, I’m Learning How To Parent Alone

In: Marriage, Motherhood

Mother with little girl on piggyback walking down road

I have four beautiful children. Each of them is unique, full of purpose, and wonderfully made by God. Being their mom is my greatest joy and my biggest challenge. As a newly single mom, the normal things of adolescence I used to have help governing are now much more difficult to navigate. I constantly worry my unhealed trauma is going to spill out onto my kids and mess them up. Who’s with me? I have teenage daughters. That fact in and of itself is frightening. It is so easy to let them down. I try to meet them where they...

Keep Reading

My Husband Is By My Side Through Every Storm

In: Grief, Marriage

The year 2025 began as a quiet storm. I was slipping into the fog of depression while navigating the early chaos of perimenopause, and some days simply getting out of bed felt impossible. My thoughts felt dark and heavy, my body unfamiliar, my energy nonexistent, and my moods uncontrollable. And yet, in the haze, there was one constant: my husband. He noticed the subtle shifts I barely acknowledged. The sighs, the quiet retreats into myself, the moments I almost broke. Instead of judgment or frustration, he offered presence. He held space for my struggle without trying to “fix” it, and...

Keep Reading

The Love Story Built on Paper and Perseverance

In: Living, Marriage

woman sits on floor with papers spread around her

I still remember the nights when our living room floor disappeared beneath piles of forms, envelopes, and government instructions. I sat cross-legged on the carpet, trying to make sense of words that felt more complicated than they needed to be, holding papers that determined our future in ways I could hardly process. My husband sat nearby, both of us tired, both of us learning patience one page at a time. This was the part of our love story no one prepares you for. Not the dreamy beginning, not the pretty milestones, but the long, exhausting middle. The part filled with...

Keep Reading

Even When Marriage Is Good, It Can Leave You Exhausted

In: Marriage

Couple on beach, man kisses woman's forehead

I love my husband, John. He’s kind and funny, smart and, most importantly, he’s committed to our life together. He works hard every day to be there for our family. He doesn’t want me to carry more than my share. But I am tired in a way that sleep can’t restore. There’s an inherent weariness that’s accumulated quietly over the years by doing what needed to be done without little, if any, notice. From the outside looking in, our marriage looks rock-steady and functional. That’s because in many ways, it is. We meet our responsibilities and manage our schedules. You...

Keep Reading

I Know Good Fathers Exist—Because I’m Married To One

In: Marriage

When I found out I was pregnant in college, I was afraid to share the news with my then-boyfriend (now-husband). I was afraid because when my biological dad found out my mom was pregnant, he left. His parents wanted me aborted. His family wanted him to walk away. In the end, my dad chose himself. He didn’t choose me. He didn’t fight for me. He didn’t protect my life. I was afraid to share the news of my pregnancy because I thought my husband would leave too. He was told by some to have me abort our baby or to...

Keep Reading

I Love the Man Behind the Beard

In: Marriage

Smiling man with beard scruff driving car

My husband, John, had sideburns and a mustache when we were married. And I loved them. He grew the first beard because he could. It was during our first weeks as a married couple, back in 1972, and the Navy had permitted enlisted members to have facial hair. They all pretty much had to grow beards, just on principle. I remember looking over at him as we drove to Homestead, Florida, where we were stationed, and seeing the romantic, tortured face of Richard Harris from the movie Camelot and a suave, tuxedoed Robert Goulet smiling across the car at me...

Keep Reading

God Trusted You to be Their Mother

Motherhood

God Trusted You to be Their Mother

Entire Family Sings "Push It" In Mom's Delivery Room and It's Stinkin' Adorable

Baby

I Love My Husband, But He Rarely Gets the Best of Me

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Kelli Bachara

No One Plans to Wear the “Scarlet Letter” of Divorce

I Still Can’t Believe You’re Mine

True Love Is Built In the Moments No One Sees

We Fall In Love a Million Times

As a Newly-Single Mom, I’m Learning How To Parent Alone

My Husband Is By My Side Through Every Storm

The Love Story Built on Paper and Perseverance

Even When Marriage Is Good, It Can Leave You Exhausted

I Know Good Fathers Exist—Because I’m Married To One

I Love the Man Behind the Beard

Get It Now

So God Made a Mother

I Love My Husband, But He Rarely Gets the Best of Me

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

No One Plans to Wear the “Scarlet Letter” of Divorce

I Still Can’t Believe You’re Mine

True Love Is Built In the Moments No One Sees

We Fall In Love a Million Times

As a Newly-Single Mom, I’m Learning How To Parent Alone

My Husband Is By My Side Through Every Storm

The Love Story Built on Paper and Perseverance

Even When Marriage Is Good, It Can Leave You Exhausted

I Know Good Fathers Exist—Because I’m Married To One

I Love the Man Behind the Beard

Previous Post

Next Post

You May Also Like