I’m an introverted mom, so sometimes I have to say no.

To the BBQ at a friend’s house.

To the concert that ALL my mom friends are going to.

To that mom’s night out that EVERYONE is talking about.

So, I miss out.

Because, yes, those things can be fun, but they also drain my soul that is already low on fuel from the day with children.

Because being a mom has no downtime. It’s constant talking, noise, and activities. It’s constantly being on.

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I’ve always been a yes girl because I’m a people pleaser at heart, but when I do that, my mental health suffers.

I become overwhelmed by the day-to-day and don’t feel like myself.

So, I’d easily choose a night of writing or Netflix over a girls’ night of wine and gossip.

Because my soul needs the quiet to recharge.

So I said no today.

I said no to dinner with friends even though I knew I’d have a great time.

Time is finite, and as moms, we need to pick and choose what we feel we need most.

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We’re putting everyone else’s needs before our own all day, so we need to be more critical of what we devote our time to at night.

Because it’s hard when the only “me time” of the day exists at night after work or whatever responsibilities we have.

I used to think to be a kind human, I had to always say yes.

But saying yes and people-pleasing shows how little I valued myself and my time.

So, I’ve learned to say no to other people so I can say yes to myself.

And I’ve learned to say no for my kids because that’s how I’ll be the best mother to them.

Because I’m important, too.

And getting back to the best version of me, not only for me but also for them, is more important than missing out.

Originally published on the author’s Facebook page.

Dani Sherman-Lazar

Dani Sherman-Lazar is an eating disorder advocate, Vice President of a transportation company, and a mother to three daughters. Follow her on her blog Living a Full Life After ED and like it on Facebook. Her book Living Full: Winning My Battle with Eating Disorders is available on Amazon.