On Mondays, We Start Over

Our Keepsake Journal is Here! 🎉

Today is Monday. On Mondays, I wake up with the determination to get my life together. Everything has gone to you know where in a handbag over the weekend, but Monday is my restart day. Of course, I didn’t sleep last night. My children were all up at 5:30 a.m., and my toddler wants to wear underwear today. It’s starting to feel like I picked the wrong Monday to get my house and life together.

RELATED: My House is a Mess, But I’m Trying Harder Than You Know

Many moons ago I saw this movie called Kill Bill. If you’ve seen it, then you’ll know the scene I’m about to speak of and if you haven’t seen it, I’m not advocating you run out and do so. There is a part in which Uma Thurman is very badly beaten. She has been through something awful and finds herself in a hospital bed unable to move. She starts to speak to her body, willing it to move. “Wiggle your big toe.” She repeats this to herself in escalating volume until her toe in fact does move. Her toe moves, then her foot, then her legs, and then she escapes the hospital.

That’s me every single Monday. I open my eyes, completely beaten down and broken, and will myself to wiggle my big toe.

Today, after I wiggled my big toe, I began to knock out one project at a time. Pick up toys, collect trash, laundry, and dishes. I vacuumed and wiped down and then set out to do something about my nightstand.

RELATED: Dear Mama, This Part of Motherhood is Your Beautiful Mess

I have this basket that collects everything. Toys, pacifiers, ChapStick, essential oils, various medications, nail polish, jewelry, trash, earphones, our tax papers, a report card I should have turned in last week, and artwork from my daughter. My life has been collected in this one place, and it made me cry to sort through it all.

All the ChapSticks I’ve bought in an effort to have soft attractive lips instead of these dry, nasty ones winter has given me. Essential oils that were supposed to lift my mood and boost our immune systems. Medicines for all the horrible things my thirties have done to my body. I have pills for depression, my bladder health, aches and pains, nausea, diarrhea, constipation, allergies, sinus infections, and every salve you can imagine for my poor skin. Life is hard, man.

It snowballs and takes me to this place where I feel like I can’t move.

Today is Monday. Today I face my life one thing at a time. I organize this little piece of my world and go on. I can’t sit and meditate on how I feel about it or how hard it is. I have to keep pressing into today. Today, I put my ChapStick on, rub on my lotions, and take my happy pill. I make my bed and just keep moving.

RELATED: Depression Happens to Stay-at-Home Moms, Too

It starts with my toes and ends with a head decision not to give up. Today I may only get this basket managed but that’s OK. I moved. I wasn’t paralyzed by the huge pile that needs to be done or that blocks my way.

For on Mondays, we start over and on Tuesdays, we keep moving.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now

So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Her View Shop

Shelley McCauley

Born and raised in northeast Florida and transplanted to Minnesota, I am a stay at home mom of four, daycare provider, and foster parent. My faith and my family drive me to get up each morning and encourage me to go to bed early every night. Writing has become free therapy and my outlet to connect with other women.

You Are Someone’s Beautiful

In: Motherhood

It’s 10:45 p.m. For the first time since I “put my face on” this morning, I stood staring back at myself in the mirror. I poked at my eyes and forehead. “How much you’ve changed,” I thought as I noticed new lines and grooves in my face. It’s funny, because earlier in the evening, I sat at my parent’s kitchen island, looking at magnets that hung on their refrigerator. Our daughter’s birth announcement stood out to me. “Wow!” I remarked to my mother who was admiring them with me. “That feels like forever ago.” It was only six years ago when...

Keep Reading

Do They Notice My Self-Doubt as a Working Mom?

In: Living, Motherhood

Woman taking a selfie in a bathroom mirror holding a coffee cup

At the office, I forget yet another small detail. Later, I am asked a simple question, something I should know the answer to, and I respond with “I don’t know” because it didn’t even occur to me to have that information on hand. I feel incapable of planning much ahead and insecure about my ability to read through the fine print. Another day of work is missed to be home with a sick baby, it’s been a difficult winter with illness striking our home, including a round of influenza for me. Meetings I was supposed to lead are covered by...

Keep Reading

Having Kids Shows Who Your Real Friends Are

In: Friendship, Motherhood

Mother and child walking through forest, color photo

Any mom, typical or special needs, will tell you having kids is the fastest way to tell who your real friends are. When your child is born with special needs this process becomes even more severe and obvious. At first, people visit and want to hold the baby, but once the delays kick in slowly people start to pull away. Disability makes them uncomfortable. That’s the truth. They hope you won’t notice, but you do. Honestly, most stop trying altogether. It’s not just friends who act this way either, sometimes it’s family too. That hurts the most. As a parent...

Keep Reading

Dear Child, You Are Not Responsible for How Anyone Else Feels about You

In: Kids, Motherhood, Teen, Tween

Teen girl looking in the mirror putting on earrings

Dear kiddo, I have so many dreams for you. A million hopes and desires run through my mind every day on a never-ending loop, along with worries and fears, and so, so much prayer. Sometimes, it feels like my happiness is tied with ropes of steel to yours. And yet, the truth is, there are times you disappoint me. You will continue to disappoint me as you grow and make your own choices and take different paths than the ones I have imagined for you. But I’m going to tell you a secret (although I suspect you already know): My...

Keep Reading

Hey Mom, It’s Okay Not to Be Perfect

In: Motherhood

Mother with head in hands and child jumping on couch nearby

Have you ever walked into a room, to an event, or a meeting, where you immediately felt out of place? As if you had come into a foreign space where you were not worthy, or just didn’t belong among the other mothers in the room? Maybe you were not dressed the part. Your hair may have fallen in messy strands around your face, or you may not have taken the time to put on a full face of makeup as the other women in the room had. Maybe your clothing choice of the day was just not quite as put...

Keep Reading

Now I Know How a Mother Is Made

In: Motherhood

Husband, wife, and young son, color photo

It’s been almost three years now, but I can still remember how your 8-pound body felt in my arms. Night after night as we tried to sleep, I remember your sounds, your movements, and your tiny hands. I gave it my all but still felt I fell short. You see sweet little one, you may have been brand new to this world, but so was I. The day you were born, a mother was born too. Things didn’t always go according to plan. It’s hard when you try your best, but you just can’t get there. So many new things...

Keep Reading

Going to Church with Kids is Hard but We’ll Keep Showing Up

In: Faith, Motherhood

Going to church is hard with young kids. It used to be something I looked forward to. It’s something I’ve always valued deeply and needed desperately. It’s the one place that will always be home regardless of what location or building it’s in or what people attend. Church is my sanctuary. But it’s become a battle with the kids’ resistance, my tired mind and body, and my lack of ability to actually listen to the sermon. Going to church is hard with young kids. It’s become normal for me to lie down in bed on Saturday night thinking, with dread,...

Keep Reading

I’m Praying for My Teenager in These Challenging Years

In: Faith, Motherhood, Teen

Teen boy holding a smartphone and wearing headphones

In my mid-40s, I began to long for a baby. We didn’t get much encouragement from friends and family. My husband is a high-functioning quadriplegic, and I was considered way too old to start a family. But our marriage was stable, we were used to obstacles, we were financially prepared, emotionally experienced, and our careers were established. I began to paint my own sublime mental portrait of parenting tranquility. What could go wrong? At 48, I delivered a healthy baby boy, and he was perfect. We adored him. The baby we had longed for and prayed for, we had. And...

Keep Reading

When Motherhood Feels Like a Limitation

In: Faith, Motherhood

Twenty-one years ago, my husband Troy and I welcomed our first son into the world. Two years later, I gave birth to another boy. And again two years later, and again two years after that. A fifth boy joined our family another two years later, and a final son was born 11 years after we began our parenting journey. If you were counting, you’re not mistaken—that’s six sons in just over a decade. We were overjoyed and more than a little exhausted. I remember feeling frustrated with the limitations of the little years with young children when I was a...

Keep Reading

I Obsessed over Her Heartbeat Because She’s My Rainbow Baby

In: Grief, Loss, Motherhood

Mother and teen daughter with ice cream cones, color photo

I delivered a stillborn sleeping baby boy five years before my rainbow baby. I carried this sweet baby boy for seven whole months with no indication that he wouldn’t live. Listening to his heartbeat at each prenatal visit until one day there was no heartbeat to hear. It crushed me. ”I’m sorry but your baby is dead,” are words I’ll never be able to unhear. And because of these words, I had no words. For what felt like weeks, I spoke only in tears as they streamed down my cheeks. But I know it couldn’t have been that long. Because...

Keep Reading

I Already Lost a Daughter—I Couldn't Lose My Husband, Too

Marriage

I Already Lost a Daughter—I Couldn't Lose My Husband, Too

I'm Making This the Summer of Yes

Kids

That’s me every single Monday. I open my eyes, completely beaten down and broken, and will myself to wiggle my big toe.

It snowballs and takes me to this place where I feel like I can’t move.

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Her View Shop

You Are Someone’s Beautiful

Do They Notice My Self-Doubt as a Working Mom?

Having Kids Shows Who Your Real Friends Are

Dear Child, You Are Not Responsible for How Anyone Else Feels about You

Hey Mom, It’s Okay Not to Be Perfect

Now I Know How a Mother Is Made

Going to Church with Kids is Hard but We’ll Keep Showing Up

I’m Praying for My Teenager in These Challenging Years

When Motherhood Feels Like a Limitation

I Obsessed over Her Heartbeat Because She’s My Rainbow Baby

Previous Post

Next Post

You May Also Like