Grief takes hold of you and won’t let go. It is intertwined in every aspect of daily life. 

There are times it feels like you are being swallowed whole. It consumes your every thought. How can you live like this? 

It feels unbearable.  

Even though death is a part of life, child loss shows you the fragility of life and that no one is promised tomorrow. 

The knowledge that life is fragile can change you. It can make you live life differently. 

But let’s be honest, sometimes it can make you angry. It can make you question your faith. 

RELATED: God Actually Does Give Us More Than We Can Handle

Sometimes, there are no lessons to be learned. People might say they are in a better place, but I disagree. Children should be with their parents not in Heaven. 

When your child dies, sometimes your path in life changes. You may end up doing things you never could have fathomed. You don’t all of a sudden stop loving your child because they have died. You have to put that love somewhere. 

Honoring your child’s memory can become a way to bestow your love on them. 

If all you can do is get out of bed after your child dies, you are doing just fine. Creating a foundation isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Just as your love for your child is unique to you, so is how you grieve. And however you choose to grieve is what is right for you. 

As bereaved parents, we are living a life that was not planned, and it feels wrong in every way. This is not how it’s supposed to be. 

RELATED: The Question No Grieving Mother Wants To Hear

Life throws you curves and you learn to swerve. I just want you to know that however you deal with life’s curves is not right or wrong. We are all doing the best we can and that is good enough. 

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Carrie Schmitt

Carrie Schmitt is an advocate for St. Baldricks and sibling loss. She has created a foundation called Love Like Jackson which funds art, music, and play therapy for children whose siblings have died. She is the mother of two boys, one in heaven and one on earth. 

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