Dear Husband, Nothing Compares To the Friendship We Share

When my husband and I were first getting to know each other, I could tell he was really into me. No, he really had it bad. So much that he pointed me out to his dad and declared, “I’m going to marry that girl one day.”

Of course, I didn’t know any of this until much later. But I could feel something building, and I had to squash this idea immediately by making a declaration myself that I wanted to be friends. I had no idea what I was really saying because a friendship was exactly where it was headed and was exactly what I needed and wanted. And not any friendship, a best friendship.

My husband is my bestie. He’s my best bud, best friend, best companion. This is coming from a girl with a lot of amazing girlfriends, many more than 10 years, and some more than 30. Some knew me as a kid, went through college with me, and walked me through breakups. These are girls I can call upon and rely on.

But none of those friendships compare to the friendship I have with my husband.

I enjoy living each day with him. We love being alone and have always looked forward to monthly dates. We have a similar vision and similar goals, we share favorite songs and shows, we have a ton of inside jokes, and we even make the same joke at the same time, his stated more loudly, of course. I look forward to telling him about my day, even giving him the most trivial details. I enjoy hearing about his day, too.

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They say love is blind. But I think true love allows the other to truly see. To truly see each other. I’m honest with him even if it means that honesty may start a fight. It’s worth the risk and worth being accepted even after truly being seen. And just like besties, if we get into a fight, we find a way to make up again.

My husband is my bestie.

I cheer him on, and he cheers me on, too. It’s not a competition. It’s a friendship of mutual respect and admiration.

People sometimes treat marriage like you can’t lose it. They treat it like it’s a guaranteed forever, a vow that can’t be broken. And although you may decide to stay married, you can lose the friendship. Have you ever lost a best friendship before? I’ve seen many walk through divorce and the saddest thing about a dissolved marriage isn’t when the divorce is final, it’s when the marriage on paper is no longer a friendship. I don’t want to lose my best friend, even if we stick it out and stay married for life.

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So, as cheesy and annoying as it may seem, we’ll continue to wear matching colors to weddings, we’ll finish each other’s jokes, and we’ll say, “I need to check with my spouse first.” It matters that my husband is my bestie.

Being each other’s best friend is the greatest benefit a marriage can offer.

I choose each day to keep my husband my best friend, my confidant, and my person I check in with and tell everything to. I’ll make this friendship last through the end and will work each day at being his bestie, too.

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So, if your husband is your bestie too, hold on tight, cherish him, spend time with him, have fun together, pray for him and with him, listen to him, tell him how much he means to you, stay connected, believe in him, don’t keep secrets from him, and choose him each day. Take that risk to be vulnerable and honest.

Make it a friendship that lasts until the end. And not just a friendship, but a best friendship.

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Articles by Aneece Alicea

Aneece Alicea

Aneece Alicea is a part-time therapist, writer, and speaker. She's a full-time mom, wife, Jesus follower, and dog lover. She enjoys a good cup of coffee and a good laugh.

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