Dear waiting friend,

Whether you are single and waiting for the right guy to marry and start a family with, or you and your husband are waiting for your baby to come, I’m sorry for the times I complain about things you long for.

I remember being in your shoes.

I remember hearing people with kids complaining about things like sleepness nights, and wondering, “Do they know how lucky they are to have a child to stay up with? I’ll never complain about things like that if I get the chance to be a mom.”

Now that I am a mom, I have failed at keeping that promise to not complain when I am tired or overwhelmed. There are hard things about motherhood.

But your journey is much harder, waiting friend. I know because I have been there.

So I apologize to you, on my behalf and for all parents who may complain to you about the hard things that come along with what you long for—a child of your own.

I’m sorry when I complain about the long nights when my son doesn’t sleep well.

Because I know what it’s like to cry yourself to sleep, wondering when it’s going to be your turn to be a mom.

I’m sorry if I complain that some days it’s hard to take two minutes to go to the bathroom without my son crying when I leave the room.

Because I know what it’s like to go to the bathroom and see your period has started yet again this month.

I’m sorry when I complain how it can be hard to find time to take a shower every day.

Because I know what it’s like to cry in the shower on the days it seems your dream to be a mom will never come true.

I’m sorry I complain that I can never seem to keep up with everything I want to get done.

Because I know what it’s like to juggle infertility appointments and adoption home study classes and appointments, wondering if one of them will lead to you bringing home a baby.

I’m sorry if I complain when it’s hard to have to walk my baby around at church when he is tired of sitting still when I just want to sit and listen.

Because I know what it’s like to bite back tears at church when there is a baptism, wondering if it will ever be you with your baby.

I’m sorry if I complain about the times my son gets fussy at the store.

Because I know what it’s like to dread trips to the store that include a visit to the baby section to pick up gifts for someone else, while wondering if you will ever be shopping in that section for a child of your own. 

I’m sorry if I complain about feeling guilty about things like lack of sleep after I waited so long for this child.

Because I know the guilt you feel when you have mixed reactions at events like baby showers or children’s birthday parties. You truly are happy for the family hosting the happy occasion. You just want it to be your turn, too.

I’m sorry, friend, that you are still waiting. It is so unfair.

You would make a wonderful mom. Don’t ever doubt that. I’m not sure why God is still having you wait, but I hope that one day we can talk together about my kids and your kids and all the joys they bring along with the hard things.

A friend who is praying and hoping for you

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Kimberly Keys

Kimberly is a stay-at-home Mom to her long-awaited precious son who joined our family through the miracle of adoption. She loves watching her toddler discover new things, especially when exploring the parks around her hometown of Cleveland, Ohio.