“I am doing the best I can,” I said to my husband as I felt a tear hit my cheek.
It was one of those nights. I was in pajamas by 4 p.m., my hair had some questionable things in it, and I had on a stained sweater that probably should have been washed a few days ago.
My husband came home and walked in on me in pajamas, cooking soup with grilled cheese (that I burned for the third time this week), and my hair looking like a bird was living in it.
He walked in on me getting upset at my 4-year-old. Probably for something small, but to me, it felt massive.
I felt like I had failed as a wife and a mother.
I haven’t been making home-cooked yummy meals lately.
I haven’t done my makeup in a long time.
My hairstyle now resembles a bird’s nest.
I am not patient with my children. I yell more than I would like to. I just thought I would be better at this whole mom and wife thing.
As I turned to look at the grilled cheese, I noticed I had burned it (my kids’ definition of burned, they’re very picky about their grilled cheese), while talking to my husband.
I threw my hands up in the air and said, “I give up!”
I put the burned grilled cheese on a plate, placed it on to the sticky kitchen table, and told the kids to eat.
They ate without complaining as I sat there in my pajamas, stained sweater, messy bun, and my failed dinner.
I sat there and watched them, as guilt washed over me like a wave.
I feel like I need to do more, all of the time. But the truth is, I am doing my best.
Next time you see your wife, the mother of your kids, looking like a complete mess, exhausted, and crying over burned grilled cheese, be kind to her.
She is doing her absolute best.
Originally published on Caitlin Fladager