So God Made a Mother is Here! 🎉

Our long day has come to an end. You cry and cry, desperately trying to evade that inevitable sleep. Oh how badly I wish that you would drift off to sleep. I rock you and I bounce you with no prevail. Why won’t you sleep? I feed you and I change you, but still, you will not sleep.

I pace the floor, holding you in my arms. Time is passing us by and the night is growing shorter. Just when it seems that there will be no end, finally your eyes begin to droop. Your muscles become heavy and your small body limp, as you float off into your own wonderland.

I had prayed for this moment all night, but now that it is finally here, I don’t want to put you down. I hold you a bit longer and smell your sweet head. I play with your tiny hands and pat your little bottom. Your little feet are dangling and your toes twitch as you dream. You are so warm and cozy.

Oh how I wish to hold you in my arms forever. I wish to keep you safe always. Oh, my sweet little babe, so new and innocent. I whisper into your ear:

“I pinky promise to be a good mom.” I will not succeed—I will make mistakes, but just know that I did my best.

“I pinky promise to always keep you safe.” I will not succeed—you will stumble, and you will fall, but I will be there to pick you up again.

“I pinky promise to be your best friend.” I will not succeed—at times you will hate me, but just know that I did what was best.

“I pinky promise to save you from heartbreak.” I will not succeed—some boy will come and shatter your heart into a million pieces, but I will be there to wipe your tears and hold you tight.

“I pinky promise to protect you from this cruel world.” I will not succeed—you will live your life and there will be bumps in the road, but I will show you how to pull through.

“I pinky promise to always be close to you.” I will not succeed—someday you will move away from home, but I will only be a phone call away.

“I pinky promise to make sure you always have what you need.” I will not succeed—sometime you will need something I can’t give you, but I will show you where to find it.

“I pinky promise to always be here for you.” I will not succeed—one day I will leave this world and you with it, but I will always be in your heart.

There is one promise I will always keep: I will always love you with all of my being. You are my child, the light of my life, my one true love. I will do the best I can. I may not know everything, but this I am sure of—you will always be my baby.

I lay you down to sleep in your crib. Suddenly, I’m not tired anymore. I just watch you as you sleep. You are so small, so sweet, so perfect. Minutes go by and I realize just how late it really is. I am sure that you will be up again soon.

I should really sleep now. I know that you are safe. Your breath is steady and you are sleeping soundly. I whisper to you one last time as I crawl into bed and lay down my head.

“Goodnight, my love. I will be here when you wake, I pinky promise.”

You may also like:

Let Me Love You a Little More, Before You’re Not Little Anymore – 5 Ways to Cherish Your Child Right Now

The Nights Are So Long

I Hope I Loved You Enough Today

I Will Always Love You Anyway

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Mikaela Miles

I am a mother, wife, and homemaker. My days are filled with changing diapers, doing dishes, and cooking dinner! I strive to be the best I can and I hope to help other mothers, wifes, and homemaker be the best that they can be also!

Dear New Mom, God Is Only a Whisper Away

In: Baby, Faith, Motherhood
New mother holding baby on couch, eyes closed

While we were waiting to adopt, I would wake up in the middle of the night panicky. My mind would wander to the thought of suddenly having a baby. With groggy eyes and a cobwebbed mind, I would ask myself, “Could I get up right now to go soothe a crying baby?” And then the insecurities would flood me as I thought through the difficulty of dragging myself out of bed to give milk to a fussy newborn. I didn’t know if I could.  With each application sent to agencies and social workers, the possibility of adopting a baby became more...

Keep Reading

To the Mom with Two under Two: You’ll Make It

In: Baby, Motherhood, Toddler
Toddler girl showing bubble wand to baby, color photo

Sweet friend, I know you feel like your world has exploded into chaos. Two under the age of two feels overwhelming. It’s like raising two babies, but one child gets into one thing after another. It feels endless. The diapers, the crying, the messes. But sweet mama, it gets better . . . so much better. Those sweet babies will grow up feeling like their sibling was always there. Your first will never remember life before a forever friend entered her life. They will grow up together and share sweet memories. RELATED: May They Be Siblings Who Stay Friends When...

Keep Reading

Can You Hear the Silent Cry of Bereaved Postpartum Mothers?

In: Baby, Grief, Loss
Crib in nursery

Trigger warning: post discusses death and loss The cool air shocked my sweltering face as I walked into the doors of Old Navy. My husband kept his hand on my back to remind me he was still with me amidst the summer hustle that was buzzing in the store. We were there for a shirt. A single shirt.  An embarrassing want that I was calling a need. I thought I would actually laugh at the situation once I got out of the house for the first time in a week.  Seven days before, I was lying on my back in...

Keep Reading

I Nearly Died after a Routine C-Section

In: Baby, Motherhood
Woman in operating room after C-section delivery

When my husband Dylan and I found out we were having a baby after having a miscarriage weeks earlier, we were ecstatic. Planning, enjoying our oldest son, and taking in the pregnancy, we didn’t understand my mounting fears and anxiety as the due date crept closer. I began having a reoccurring dream of dying on the table. This anxiety only worsened as we passed the point of the possibility of vaginal birth after cesarean (VBAC) delivery, and I began preparing for another cesarean section. The morning of, we arrived happy and nervous. I began to come to terms with this...

Keep Reading

Dear IVF Mama, You Are Not Alone

In: Baby, Motherhood
woman giving herself IVF injection

I had to be pregnant this time. It was our fourth and final IUI. I was late. I was hopeful. I would have moved mountains to avoid the emotional and financial turmoil of the IVF process. Sitting at dinner with friends, I started to cramp. I felt the color drain from my face as anxiety flooded my brain. I stood from my seat. In a mere moment, my hope shattered into a thousand tiny pieces right there on that bathroom floor. I tried to compose myself so I could return to my friends. But the tears kept coming—an involuntary avalanche...

Keep Reading

You’re the One I Want to Raise My Babies with

In: Baby, Marriage
Mom and dad holding young daughter kiss

We didn’t realize the far-reaching effects of having our first child. We dreamed, planned, and imagined what our future life would be like with our daughter. What we couldn’t begin to understand is how much time would be taken away from us as a team. Our love of hiking still exists. Our love of travel still exists. Our love of quietly watching a movie still exists. But our priorities have shifted to spending as much time with our baby as possible. RELATED: Having a Baby Changes Everything in Marriage Parenting can be all-consuming. It takes every spare breath, every bit...

Keep Reading

A Vasectomy Fail Wrecked Me in the Most Beautiful Way

In: Baby, Motherhood
Mom, dad, four boys, color photo

Has life ever thrown you a major curveball? The kind you wonder how you’re going to work your way through, yet you survive and come out the other side changed and transformed? It was 2019—we had a house full of three growing little boys (ages 5, 7, and 9). We were out of the sleepless nights, terrible twos, and diapers. I was finally able to enjoy watching my kids play sports (without chasing a toddler), and I was about to turn 40. I was ready for growth in my career, ready for more traveling with our kids, and staring at...

Keep Reading

When These NICU Days Are Over

In: Baby, Motherhood
Mom and nurse with baby in NICU, color photo

I’ve been where you are. I’ve been in a hospital bed, striving to keep my baby in for one more day as if concentrating hard enough would stop the contractions. I’ve been there while NICU doctors told me about survival rates as I stared at the hospital ceiling, looking at the beaming fluorescent lights, trying to fight the tears until they left the room. Thinking to myself, please God, keep him in one more day. And when one more day didn’t come, I sat in the dimly lit room filled with machines, incubators, and cords, so many cords. I’ve watched...

Keep Reading

Postpartum Rage Is Real

In: Baby, Motherhood
Husband, wife, and four children, color photo

Growing up, I always fantasized about my life with my children. I never thought I would be the mom who yells or curses at her children. I envisioned I would be the gentle parent who always reacted calmly and never shamed my kids for accidents. Then while in the midst of being postpartum with my fourth baby, it hit me. “Did I really just curse at my child for spilling their milk?” This was not me, this was not my parenting style. I felt so ashamed and worthless. Those feelings were enough to help me realize I needed help. Overcoming...

Keep Reading

There’s No Hard like NICU Hard

In: Baby, Motherhood
Three women and two toddlers, color photo

To the mamas and daddies navigating the NICU: There’s no hard like NICU hard. Seeing your spanking-new beloved placed in a glass bassinet and rolled away from your aching breasts and empty arms—it’s the absolute hardest. No one who hasn’t been there can possibly understand. But many of us out here get it. We understand your emotions—the tangled and tied-up ones that unraveled in that bassinet’s wake. Fear, anger, frustration, helplessness, sorrow. You feel like a failure. You feel completely undone. Defeated.  But you’re not even one of those things. You are parents, and parents are practically superhuman. You have...

Keep Reading