Comparison.

Ugh.

I am guilty, guilty, guilty of comparing myself to others and in turn, bringing myself down.

She has a better house than I do.

Her kid wears cuter clothes than mine.

She looks so perfect and put together all the time.

Her car is nicer than mine.

She seems to have the perfect marriage.

She looks amazing with no make-up and unwashed hair.

She has more friends than I do.

Her pictures always look so amazing.

She can afford to get her nails done weekly.

She cooks a gourmet dinner for her family every night.

I have had the above thoughts more times than I would like to admit. With the invention of social media and filters, it is so easy for people to put on a facade that their life is perfect. This causes so many people to look at their life and compare.

I may wake up and have an amazing morning with my family and feel so happy with our little life. Then, I hop on Instagram and see a picture of someone with a big, perfectly decorated and cleaned house and suddenly my house turns into a dump in my mind.

Scroll a little further and a couple posted a picture of the expensive restaurant they went to on a date. Immediately, Collin and my date to Ruby Tuesdays is tainted.

It’s maddening how quickly my mindset can change! And oh the way it makes me feel. I know I’m feeling that way, I’m aware but I cannot seem to push away thoughts of inadequacy.

What a deep, dark hole that digs.

Recently I heard something that changed my mindset. I was listening to a Bible Study series and the speaker spoke these words;

Your worth is not in who you are but in whose you are.

Wow. Earth-shattering, right?

Why am I using material and worldly things to measure my worth? Why am I looking at humans to decide what things will make me worthy or happy?

Who do I want to be known as? A gorgeous, put-together, perfect mom with a beautiful house? Or a daughter of the King who is kind, generous, loving and seeking Him daily?

I want to find my identity in Christ, who will lead me to bigger and better things than a big house, nice cars and a seemingly perfect life.

So when I post things on social media that might make it look like my life is perfect and I have it all together, please know that it isn’t and I don’t. I post on social media what I want to see from others—the highlights of everyday life. Yes, I might post about some struggles I’m having or a prayer request, but I’m not going to air my deepest struggles online. I want to do my part to make social media a happy and encouraging place to go! I’m determined to rejoice at your good news and to remind myself that you, like every human, have your own struggles too. And I’ll trust that you’ll do the same—rejoice with me, and know that what you see online isn’t the sum of my life, but mostly the highlights and blessings.

I will strive to find peace and joy in what I have been blessed with and in who God wants me to be rather than what looks good in my worldly eyes. Will you join me in fighting  comparison, the thief of joy?

Let’s make known whose we are and make that matter more than who we appear to be to the world.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Tavia Smith

Hi, I’m Tavia! I'm saved by grace, a wife, new mom, and lover of coffee and donuts! During the week, I'm a hustle and bustle fourth grade teacher but in my (limited) spare time, you can find me working on my blog Everyday Smith, http://https://everydaysmith.com/blog/. I am a homebody by nature and if I could, I would spend all my time at home with my husband, little girl and our two dogs!

To The Mother Who Is Overwhelmed

In: Inspiration, Motherhood
Tired woman with coffee sitting at table

I have this one head. It is a normal sized head. It didn’t get bigger because I had children. Just like I didn’t grow an extra arm with the birth of each child. I mean, while that would be nice, it’s just not the case. We keep our one self. And the children we add on each add on to our weight in this life. And the head didn’t grow more heads because we become a wife to someone. Or a boss to someone. We carry the weight of motherhood. The decisions we must make each day—fight the shorts battle...

Keep Reading

To the Mother of My Son’s Future Wife

In: Grown Children, Inspiration, Kids, Marriage, Motherhood, Relationships
marriage, wife, husband, grown children, www.herviewfromhome.com

To the mother of my son’s future wife, I’m in the midst of dirty diapers and temper tantrums, but I do have days where I think about the future and what it will look like for my son. I wonder who he will be, what he will do and probably most of all, who he will love. I wonder about the type of woman he will bring home to meet us one day. I have my own thoughts on the type of person I wish my son would fall in love with, but we all know that the heart wants...

Keep Reading

Trading Fleeting Moments of Fame for Unshakeable Faith

In: Faith, Inspiration, Relationships
Trading Fleeting Moments of Fame for Unshakeable Faith www.herviewfromhome.com

The string quartet began playing Pachelbel, as my dad and I took our first steps down the aisle. I began to lose my composure as we proceeded to the altar. Hundreds of guests had their eyes on me as tears streamed down my face. Struggling to look my future in the eyes, I looked to the ground for reprieve. God, everything around me looks perfect, so why doesn’t this feel right? I’m not sure how I got here. The flame once dancing inside of me, has extinguished. Lord, I need you. Dad squeezed my hand gently, “Are you OK sweetie?”...

Keep Reading

Children Don’t Get Easier, We Just Get Stronger

In: Inspiration, Mental Health, Motherhood
Children Don't Get Easier, We Just Get Stronger www.herviewfromhome.com

“This too shall pass.” As mothers, we cling to these words as we desperately hope to make it past whichever parenting stage currently holds us in its clutches. In the thick of newborn motherhood, through night wakings, constant nursing and finding our place in an unfamiliar world, we long for a future filled with more sleep and less crying. We can’t imagine any child or time being more difficult than right now. Then, a toddler bursts forth, a tornado of energy destroying everything in his wake. We hold our breath as he tests every possible limit and every inch of...

Keep Reading

This North Dakota Homecoming Queen is Capturing Hearts Everywhere

In: Inspiration, Kids, School, Teen
This North Dakota Homecoming Queen is Capturing Hearts Everywhere www.herviewfromhome.com

When Paula and Kevin Burckard’s third child was born, she arrived with a little something extra the North Dakota couple never saw coming.  Newborn Grace had Down syndrome, and the diagnosis initially left the young parents devastated. “When Grace was born, I thought all my dreams for my daughter had basically been dashed,” Paula said.  But it didn’t take long for those fears to subside.  As Grace grew, not only did she meet and surpass milestones, her infectious joy, inspirational grit, and deep love of all things Michael Jackson transformed the family—and countless hearts. The Burckhards went on to adopt...

Keep Reading

Dear Kids, When I Forget What It’s Like To Be Little

In: Child, Inspiration, Kids, Motherhood
Hey Mom, Don't Forget—You Were a Kid Once, Too www.herviewfromhome.com

The kids were squealing in the backseat. For the five minutes prior they were begging me to spill the beans on where we were going as I had only told them to get their shoes, get in the car and buckle up. It’s one of the ways I’ve learned to make a simple trip out of the house one that is a mysterious adventure to them. As we took left and right turns away from our house, they were trying to guess where we were going . . . and when we finally pulled up to a brand new playground...

Keep Reading

My Children Deserve To See the Whole Me, Not Just the Mom Me

In: Inspiration, Journal, Motherhood
My Children Deserve To See the Whole Me, Not Just the Mom Me www.herviewfromhome.com

Before I was a mother, I was a human being. A human being with life experiences, passions, fears, talents, hobbies, goals, friends and aspirations that I cherished and tried to honor. Even though I went through a variety of seasons of life . . . from school-age days, to working adult, to wife . . . those things always stayed with me. I stayed open to evolving, but never let go of who I inherently was. Then came motherhood. And suddenly I found myself abandoning my commitment to remain true to me, and leaving any semblance of myself in the...

Keep Reading

My Mother-in-Law’s Legacy: Simplicity

In: Inspiration, Journal
My Mother-in-Law's Legacy: Simplicity www.herviewfromhome.com

The memories of my mother-in-law spilled to the forefront of my mind, just as the contents of his jacket pocket fell onto our dresser. It was Proverbs 31, written on hotel stationery, in my neatest block print. Holding the small papers in my hand brought me right back to her graveside, on a hot summer morning, seven years ago. “Her children arise and call her blessed.” (verse 28) As my second daughter gave a mighty kick from the womb, visible to every mourner present that day, I couldn’t help but to allow my mind to wander. Were my values apparent...

Keep Reading

A Car Accident Left My Teenager Paralyzed—and Incredibly Fierce

In: Inspiration, Journal
A Car Accident Left My Teenager Paralyzed—and Incredibly Fierce www.herviewfromhome.com

I drove back from my son’s college concert near midnight. Exhausted, I glanced at my 14-year-old daughter, Beth, asleep in the passenger seat. We were only 10 minutes from home. I thought I could make it until I heard a road sign flatten on concrete. As the car flipped three times across a bare Ohio field, we left behind an ordinary life. I escaped with cuts, bruises, and blood-matted hair. Beth was another story. The car was cut open and a helicopter rushed her to Toledo. A doctor told my husband John that she was paralyzed. When John broke the news...

Keep Reading

Dear Mama, You’re Allowed To Not Be There

In: Inspiration, Motherhood
Dear Mama, You're Allowed To Not Be There www.herviewfromhome.com

Friday afternoon was not much crazier than most afternoons. My husband was mowing the lawn, my daughter was hangry and my youngest son was due to be in a talent show in twenty minutes. I stood in the kitchen—where it seemed like I’d been for an hour—trying to motivate my family to eat dinner and get ready to go. “Get dressed, Jude. Make sure you eat something.” “Dean, do you want a slice of pizza before we leave?” I screamed over the lawn mower. “Maeve, are you going to the optional soccer practice or the talent show? You need to...

Keep Reading