I am guilty, guilty, guilty of comparing myself to others and in turn, bringing myself down.

She has a better house than I do.

Her kid wears cuter clothes than mine.

She looks so perfect and put together all the time.

Her car is nicer than mine.

She seems to have the perfect marriage.

She looks amazing with no make-up and unwashed hair.

She has more friends than I do.

Her pictures always look so amazing.

She can afford to get her nails done weekly.

She cooks a gourmet dinner for her family every night.

I have had the above thoughts more times than I would like to admit. With the invention of social media and filters, it is so easy for people to put on a facade that their life is perfect. This causes so many people to look at their life and compare.

I may wake up and have an amazing morning with my family and feel so happy with our little life. Then, I hop on Instagram and see a picture of someone with a big, perfectly decorated and cleaned house and suddenly my house turns into a dump in my mind.

Scroll a little further and a couple posted a picture of the expensive restaurant they went to on a date. Immediately, Collin and my date to Ruby Tuesdays is tainted.

It’s maddening how quickly my mindset can change! And oh the way it makes me feel. I know I’m feeling that way, I’m aware but I cannot seem to push away thoughts of inadequacy.

What a deep, dark hole that digs.

Recently I heard something that changed my mindset. I was listening to a Bible Study series and the speaker spoke these words;

Your worth is not in who you are but in whose you are.

Wow. Earth-shattering, right?

Why am I using material and worldly things to measure my worth? Why am I looking at humans to decide what things will make me worthy or happy?

Who do I want to be known as? A gorgeous, put-together, perfect mom with a beautiful house? Or a daughter of the King who is kind, generous, loving and seeking Him daily?

I want to find my identity in Christ, who will lead me to bigger and better things than a big house, nice cars and a seemingly perfect life.

So when I post things on social media that might make it look like my life is perfect and I have it all together, please know that it isn’t and I don’t. I post on social media what I want to see from others—the highlights of everyday life. Yes, I might post about some struggles I’m having or a prayer request, but I’m not going to air my deepest struggles online. I want to do my part to make social media a happy and encouraging place to go! I’m determined to rejoice at your good news and to remind myself that you, like every human, have your own struggles too. And I’ll trust that you’ll do the same—rejoice with me, and know that what you see online isn’t the sum of my life, but mostly the highlights and blessings.

I will strive to find peace and joy in what I have been blessed with and in who God wants me to be rather than what looks good in my worldly eyes. Will you join me in fighting  comparison, the thief of joy?

Let’s make known whose we are and make that matter more than who we appear to be to the world.

Tavia Smith

Hi, I’m Tavia! I'm saved by grace, a wife, new mom, and lover of coffee and donuts! During the week, I'm a hustle and bustle fourth grade teacher but in my (limited) spare time, you can find me working on my blog Everyday Smith, http:// I am a homebody by nature and if I could, I would spend all my time at home with my husband, little girl and our two dogs!