I have three scars on my tummy that remind me I’m a mommy, too.

As Mother’s Day approaches and my arms are empty but I’m still a mommy, too. I can’t get rid of those scars, I don’t want to forget. Somehow they are a reminder that I’m a mommy, too.

It’s almost been a year without you, but I’m still a mommy, too.

You might be in heaven waiting for us, but that still makes me a mommy, too. I may not hear your cry, or see your face but I’m still a mommy to you. There may be an empty stroller in the closet and an empty cradle in your room, but that doesn’t make me any less of a mommy to you. When I bathe and when I change I’m reminded that they pulled you from me too soon. But I also remember that those three scars on my tummy remind me I will always be a mommy to you. 

I have a whole stockpile of scar removal creams and ointments in my bathroom cabinet but I can’t make myself use them. Losing those scars may mean that I’m not daily reminded of you. You may not be here with me, I may not get to share you with our family, but at least I have a daily reminder on my tummy that you were real, your life was valid, you will always be loved. Because those scars on my tummy will always remind me that I’m a mommy, too.

I may not have you here with me now but you were alive, you were developing, and you had such a strong heartbeat. You were my baby the moment I saw those two pink lines. Those pink lines have now faded, but I’m still a mommy to you. Someday with age and time, I know those scars that are on my tummy will fade, too. For now, I’ll hold onto them as long as I can because those scars on my tummy remind me that I am a mommy, too.  

Those three scars on my tummy remind me that I’m a mommy, too. They remind me how fragile and weak our bodies are until we are made new in glory. Those three scars on my tummy remind me that God’s purpose in my life wasn’t complete yet. Those three scars on my tummy are reminders to put my faith in Him, even when I don’t have the strength to move forward. Those three scars on my tummy remind me that I am still here for some reason, even when I don’t understand. Those three scars on my tummy remind me that His ways are higher than my ways, His thoughts are higher than my thoughts.

Those three scars on my tummy remind me that I have a purpose and a story to share.

Those three scars on my tummy remind me that you are a whole new creation, made new in Heaven with Jesus. Those three scars on my tummy remind me that you are perfect, without blemish, fault, or scars. Those scars on my tummy remind me that even though life is so hard, so challenging, and you feel so far I have the hope that we will be together again one day. One day those three scars on my tummy won’t be there because I will be in Heaven with you, but for now, those three scars on my tummy remind me that I am a mommy, too. 

Ashley Richburg

Ashley Richburg is a 29-year-old who lives in a suburb of Austin, TX with her sweet husband and two spunky Labrador retrievers. She loves topo chio, hammocking, and all things outside.