So God Made a Teacher Collection (Sale!) ➔

On this day.

Four years ago.

We became man and wife.

I’ve cried hard many a day.

This.

One of the most tearful of my life.

You were so sick.

The pain extreme.

You couldn’t stop throwing up.

A true nightmare.

No fairytale. Or dream.

You were in the same clothes.

From three days before.

The experience of our union should have been beautiful.

Instead.

More like a horror.

The happy couples.

Laughing. Smiling.

All around.

I teared up silently.

And hid my eyes.

I refused to let my sorrow be heard with a sound.

They finally called our name.

We headed to the back.

Most couples smile and hold hands.

I held you up.

So your fragile body wouldn’t fall to the ground.

The officiant was taken aback.

“Cancer,” I whispered in his ear.

Quietly.

To ensure that she did not hear.

Your mini-me we had not yet told.

I could see him tear up.

A good-hearted man.

Anything but cold.

He led the vows.

You jumping around from the pain.

I lost my composure.

Tears flowing down so hard.

My heart broken.

My soul scarred.

For eight years.

We were apart.

Only to be reunited.

Cancer.

Threatened to once again take my heart.

“I now pronounce you man and wife,” he said.

We left the building.

Straight to the ER.

“We just got married,” I told the nurses.

As I somehow cracked a smile.

“She’s my wife.”

They brought us wedding cake and soda.

Tragically beautiful.

But all worth it.

Because I got to say those three words.

About you.

The love of my life.

Originally published on the author’s blog

John Polo

John Polo is a widower and step dad. He is also an author, blogger and speaker. John met the love of his life, Michelle, at a young age, and the two dated for a year in High School.  After eight years apart the two reunited and planned to spend their life together, alongside Michelle’s amazing daughter.  Two years after their reunion Michelle was diagnosed with an extremely rare and aggressive cancer.  So rare in fact, that the two were told when you consider what type of cancer it was, and where it developed, there is only one case a year in the world of what Michelle had.  Michelle fought valiantly for two and a half years before taking her last breath on January 22, 2016. It was no easy feat, but while Michelle was in hospice John had a moment that would forever change him.  He was able to rid himself of the bitter, and find his better. John is currently a contributor to a handful of blogs and websites; including Good Men Project, Hope for Widows, The Grief Toolbox and The Mighty. He also serves on the Hope for Widows Advisory Board, is a speaker for the National Cancer Survivor’s Day Foundation and is a member of the International Association of Professional Writers & Editors. John has co-authored a journal entitled ‘Hurt to Healing, The Journal from Life to the Afterlife’ and his first book, entitled ‘Widowed: Rants, Raves and Randoms’ will be released on November 11th, 2017. John’s true passions are writing and speaking about love, loss and hope as he tries to help others honor their pain and see that a hopeful tomorrow can indeed exist. You can find John’s blog at www.betternotbitterwidower.com and on Facebook 

Trying To Conceive Almost Ruined Our Marriage

In: Baby, Marriage, Motherhood
Man and woman back to back on bed

“I know it’s not true, but I feel like you don’t love me anymore.” My husband’s words caused me to freeze in my tracks. I had been on my way out the door, but as soon as those words were uttered, I knew I wasn’t going anywhere. The words hung in the air, and I held my breath, mind racing. What could I possibly say to that? I slowly turned around, silently waiting for my husband to continue. Which he did. “I feel like you don’t want to have sex with me anymore.” I cringed internally. Clearly, I wasn’t the...

Keep Reading

50 Years Down, So Much More Love to Go

In: Marriage
couple on anniversary smiling

Our kids haven’t always listened to us—that’s the way it is with kids. I was worried they wouldn’t listen this time either, whether from a feeling they “owed” us a 50th anniversary celebration, or just a certainty that we would really like a big, splashy earth-shattering remembrance of the date and we were just pretending to be the two people we are and John wouldn’t actually walk out of a celebration he had asked them repeatedly not to force on us. RELATED: Our Anniversary Doesn’t Matter—Our Marriage Does We asked that they use the money they would have spent to...

Keep Reading

So You’re Not the Fun Parent…So What?

In: Kids, Marriage, Motherhood
Woman reading book while two play in background

I’m not the fun parent in our household. Of course, this comes as no surprise to me but it still stung when my 8-year-old said to me rather bluntly the other night, “Daddy’s way more fun than you.” And while the rational part of my brain knows better than to take this kind of comment to heart, my super-sensitive, highly emotional primitive brain did the exact opposite and ran with it.  Daddy is the more fun parent. I’m the stricter, more rigid, and more uptight parent. I’m not the type of parent who, in the spur of the moment, will...

Keep Reading

We’re Learning to Be Just the Two of Us (And It’s Fun!)

In: Grown Children, Marriage, Motherhood
Couple cooking in kitchen

My husband and I have been married for 23 years and we have never spontaneously gone four hours away to anything, much less a concert.  When we got married, we both brought daughters into the marriage, and three years later, we had a son. We were a family of five. In our 23 years of marriage, it had never been just the two of us. There were always ballgames, concerts, school awards, etc that kept us busy and split between two places if not three. After the girls both left the house for college, we still had our son. While...

Keep Reading

In This Stage of Marriage, it Feels Like We’re Roommates Who Share the Same Kids

In: Faith, Marriage
Distant couple on phones in bed

How do you get it back? How do you get back the love you once had? Everyone told me marriage was hard and having kids was hard, but I had no idea it would be this hard. I thought everyone was lying because our relationship was solid before marriage. We were best friends. Some days I feel like we’re roommates who share the same kids. It disgusts me even to say that, but it’s the truth. Marriage is hard and has ugly sides to it that everyone seems afraid to talk about. RELATED: Keep Showing Up Even When Marriage is...

Keep Reading

Oops, We Forgot to Have Sex This Summer

In: Marriage, Motherhood
Couple asleep on couch

It’s summer! The season of bikinis and pool parties and cocktails on the back deck. It’s time to wear your cute outfits and stay up late and take romantic spur-of-the-moment trips. . . unless you’re a mom like me. For me, summer is a time of zero privacy because my kids are home all the time. It’s a time of total exhaustion as kids are staying up later than ever because the sun is still up at 10 p.m. “Date nights” are sharing a snow cone while watching a kid’s softball game or falling asleep on the couch while the...

Keep Reading

Couples Therapy Saved Our Marriage

In: Marriage
Couple sitting on couch

My husband and I have been married for 13 years, but we almost didn’t make it past eight.   Flashback to 2017.  I was a (somewhat) young mother of three, working from home and spending 100% of my time with our kids when they weren’t in school while my husband worked full time. We were busy, and we didn’t always have a lot of time for each other, but I just assumed that’s how it is when you have young kids. RELATED: Here We Are, My Love, In the Season of Parenting Little Ones On a random Tuesday in September, I...

Keep Reading

Remember What It Was like When It Was Just the Two of Us?

In: Marriage
Young couple walking down street at night

It was 11 p.m. at night and the weekend trip was still a month and a half away, but I was already envisioning myself walking down the picturesque streets, caramel macchiato in hand, strolling along at a leisurely pace when it hit me . . .  Guilt. The feeling caused by a harmless little comment—a harmless little question rather—but it was enough to snap me out of my reverie. “Wouldn’t you miss the kids?” “Of course, I would,” I said it out loud, annunciating each word as I contemplated if I would actually miss my kids or not. They’ll be fine!...

Keep Reading

When the Happily isn’t Ever After

In: Living, Marriage
Woman holding wedding ring

It was a yellow peignoir, and I felt so grown up. I was barely six and pretended I was a princess or a beauty pageant contestant when I put it on. Jumping on my parent’s bed, twisting, and twirling. I was Snow White, and I could safely dream about my happily ever after. A tall, dark, and handsome charmer would bestow a gentle kiss on my lips and sweep me away. Someday, my prince will come. Someday, we’ll meet again. And away to his castle we’ll go, to be happy forever I know. After many toads, there was a dance...

Keep Reading

I’m So Thankful For This Little Family

In: Faith, Marriage, Motherhood
Toddler boy and infant girl, color photo

I remember my teenage self dreaming, hoping, and praying for a life like I have now. Praying for a man to love me, to be loyal to me, to want a family with me, to provide for me, to show me what stability felt like and what it felt like to not ever have to worry . . . and here he is right in front of me. I remember my teenage self dreaming, hoping, praying for a house I could make a home and raise my family in. Here it is right in front of me. But most of...

Keep Reading

Get our FREE phone wallpaper to encourage you as the new school year begins

It's bittersweet for a mother to watch her child grow—but you both are ready to soar.