Free shipping on all orders over $75🎄

I was a full-time working mom for years before I became the stay-at-home mom I am currently. I can say with 100 percent certainty that both are incredibly difficult and fulfilling in different ways. There are different demands within each role, different joys, and different struggles. No matter what role we choose though, we can easily feel as if we aren’t doing enough.

I would like to think that I have some decent insights from having been on both sides of the fence. One thing I have definitely learned? Every one of us—working or not—is doing what we do out of love. So in that spirit of love, I wrote you all a love letter as a little show of gratitude.

To the Working Moms,
You put in long days, and you never “clock out”. You give to your job endlessly, then you come home and care for your little ones endlessly, knowing other demands wait for you tomorrow as you head back to work. You provide for your family and put food on the table and a roof over everyone’s head. You are proud of the work you do; you should be. You are teaching your children the value of hard work and sacrifice.

But you also feel pulled in endless directions.

Sometimes, when someone asks you what you do for a living, you tell them, only to follow it with “why” you choose to work outside the home. You explain yourself in some way or another, as if you need to justify your choice to be a working mom. I’m here to tell you that you don’t. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. You are working and caring for your family. But you aren’t only a mom. You are many things, and you don’t have to do anything but celebrate the many hats you wear (and also grab some coffee, because I know you’re tired.)

I also want to thank you.

Thank you for being an example I can point to when I tell my daughters they can be whatever they want to be.

Thank you for being in the working world as a mother—because the working world will only get more mom-friendly when there are more moms in it.

Thank you for being in the working world as a woman, too—because we bring insight and brilliance and wisdom that needs to be heard. We need all of you out there sharing ideas, quieting the “mansplainers” and running the world.

And thank you for giving so much to your family, and finding every single moment available to be with them while you juggle it all. You are doing what you do out of love and devotion, and you should be proud.

Love,
A former working mom


To the Stay-at-Home Moms,
You have long days and short nights, and you live where you work. So you never really “clock out” either. You love your days with your children, and are incredibly grateful for the role you play.

But it’s hard. Sometimes you feel like the only thing you have time for is caring for other people and things, and never yourself. Adult conversation is a precious commodity. While you also help put food on the table, it may be cold by the time you get around to enjoying it (just like your coffee.)

You manage finances and play the role of chauffeur, chef, personal shopper and washer of never-ending mountains of laundry. You volunteer at school, or go to school yourself. It can be a thankless job on many days.

Sometimes you also feel the need to justify your choice to be a stay-at-home mom. The conversation never seems to be as riveting when someone asks you what you do. Maybe you find yourself explaining that you actually have no down time either, despite not working in an office.

You pay the bills and bargain shop and wonder if you are doing the right thing for your family. You wonder if you could be doing more. Maybe you even miss being the woman who brought in a paycheck and got raises and promotions.

I want to thank you, too.

Thank you for showing your children that hard work takes on many forms, and that value doesn’t just come from a paycheck and a promotion. You work hard to find identities that add layers to your life above and beyond “Mommy.” You may even pursue your passions and interests if you can manage a spare minute to do so.

Thank you for speaking honestly about the challenges of staying at home, and the joys of it, too. You remind us that it is OK to have hard days, and that every single one of those is worth the reward.

Thank you for making the sacrifice that staying home requires. Because it may be wonderful, but it is a sacrifice nonetheless.

And thank you, most of all, for doing everything you do out of love and devotion to your family. You are raising the next generation of humans, and you should be proud.

Love,
A fellow stay-at-home mom

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Hannah Angstadt-Gunning

Hannah is a former full-time working turned stay-at-home/homeschooling mom. She is a contributing writer and co-editor for Columbia SC Mom’s Blog. You can also find her at her blog, Palindromic Musings, where she writes about living with and navigating through grief, and on Twitter.  She is passionate about writing, painting, social justice, wine, and raising strong women. Hannah lives in Columbia, South Carolina with her husband and two young daughters, and is an alumni of the University of South Carolina and devoted Gamecock fan.

The Room that Built Me

In: Living, Teen
Old photo of teen bedroom covered in posters, color photo

Before Pinterest, before social media, before anybody cared, my room during high school in the early 2000s was decorated with magazines taped all over the walls. It proudly displayed gaudy wallpaper, an out-of-place blanket, and random trinkets. None of the furniture matched, and it didn’t matter. It was home to pictures taken by my trusty disposable Kodak camera, printed promptly at the local K-Mart of course. A big radio took up all the space my dresser would allow, and a neon green cordless phone found its home on the floor next to my bed. RELATED: Ahem, Your Favorite 90s Shoes...

Keep Reading

Hey Friend, Meet Me in the Mess

In: Friendship, Living
Friends smiling

If you come to our home, you’ll likely see a basket of folded or unfolded laundry waiting to be put away. You may even see a pile of dirty clothes hanging out by the washer. If you come to our home, you’ll likely find spitty bits in the sink from where little kids brushed their teeth in a hurry and forgot to rinse. Despite my best efforts, they always seem to find their way back. If you come to our home, there’s a 50-50 chance the beds will be made. If they were made, there’s a high chance they were...

Keep Reading

God Calls Me Flawless

In: Faith, Living
Note hanging on door, color photo

When I look in the mirror, I don’t always like what I see. I tend to focus on every imperfection, every flaw. As I age, more wrinkles naturally appear. And I’ve never been high maintenance, so the gray hairs are becoming more frequent, too. Growing up a lot of negative words were spoken about me: my body, my weight, my hair, my build. Words I’ve somehow carried my whole life. The people who proclaimed them as my truth don’t even remember what they said, I’m sure. But that’s the power of negative words. Sticks and stones may break our bones,...

Keep Reading

I’m Afraid of Going to the Dentist

In: Living
Woman sitting in dental chair looking nervous

I never used to have a fear of the dentist. Growing up as a child who struggled with sensory issues and hated brushing my teeth, combined with struggles with food and not eating very healthy, I often had cavities and needed trips to the dentist to fix them. So trips to the dentist were just common for me, and I got used to it. By the time I was a teenager and needed braces, those trips only got more frequent. Did I enjoy the dentist? No, not really. But I never had any anxieties about it until five years ago. It started...

Keep Reading

She is an Anonymom

In: Living, Motherhood
Mother standing at sink holding a baby on her hip

She stands alone in the church kitchen, frantically scrubbing pots and pans while the grieving huddle around the fellowship hall, and she slips out the back door before anyone comes in. She is an anonymom. She gets out of her car and picks up the trash thrown into the ditch alongside the country road. She is an anonymom. She sits on the park bench, watching her children play. In the meantime, she continually scans the whole playground, keeping track of everyone’s littles, because that is what moms do. She is an anonymom. RELATED: Can We Restore “the Village” Our Parents...

Keep Reading

Your Husband Needs Friendship Too

In: Faith, Friendship, Marriage
3 men smiling outside

As the clock inches closer to 7:00 on a Monday evening, I pull out whatever dessert I had prepared that week and set it out on the kitchen counter. This particular week it’s a trifle, but other weeks it may be brownies, pound cake, or cookies of some kind. My eyes do one last sweep to make sure there isn’t a tripping hazard disguised as a dog toy on the floor and that the leftover dinner is put away. Then, my kids and I make ourselves scarce. Sometimes that involves library runs or gym visits, but it mostly looks like...

Keep Reading

Memories are What Matter—Watch the Chevy Holiday Ad Making Us Cry

In: Living
Chevy holiday ad

I don’t know about you, but the older I get the more I find that this time of year feels fragile. I love the holidays, don’t get me wrong. But these days I recognize a comingling of joy and sadness that envelopes so many during this season. It’s a giant heap of emotion as we sort through the good, the bad, the happy, and the sad of the past year and try to make sense of where we are right here, right now, in this moment of time. So when I saw Chevrolet’s new seasonal ad last night, I was...

Keep Reading

This Is Why Moms Ask for Experience Gifts

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood
Mother and young daughter under Christmas lights wearing red sweaters

When a mama asks for experience gifts for her kids for Christmas, please don’t take it as she’s ungrateful or a Scrooge. She appreciates the love her children get, she really does. But she’s tired. She’s tired of the endless number of toys that sit in the bottom of a toy bin and never see the light of day. She’s tired of tripping over the hundreds of LEGOs and reminding her son to pick them up so the baby doesn’t find them and choke. She’s tired of having four Elsa dolls (we have baby Elsa, Barbie Elsa, a mini Elsa,...

Keep Reading

6 Things You Can Do Now to Help Kids Remember Their Grandparents

In: Grief, Living, Loss, Motherhood
Grandfather dances with granddaughter in kitchen

A month ago, my mom unexpectedly passed away. She was a vibrant 62-year-old grandma to my 4-year-old son who regularly exercised and ate healthy. Sure, she had some health scares—breast cancer and two previous brain aneurysms that had been operated on successfully—but we never expected her to never come home after her second surgery on a brain aneurysm. It has been devastating, to say the least, and as I comb through pictures and videos, I have gathered some tips for other parents of young kids to do right now in case the unexpected happens, and you’re left scrambling to never...

Keep Reading

When You Need a Friend, Be a Friend

In: Friendship, Living
Two friends having coffee

We have all seen them—the posts about the door always open, the coffee always on, telling us someone is always there when we need support. I have lived with depression my entire life. From being a nervous child with a couple of ticks to a middle-aged woman with recurrent major depressive and generalized Anxiety disorder diagnoses. Antidepressants, therapy, writing, and friends are my treatments. The first three are easy, my doctor prescribes antidepressants, I make appointments with a therapist, and I write when I feel the need. RELATED: Happy People Can Be Depressed, Too The fourth is hard. As I...

Keep Reading