I was sitting in my seat waiting for my name to be called for my appointment. You know, the one where you get undressed from the waist down, sit on the crinkly paper, and nervously stare at your feet until the doctor comes in. This wasn’t my first rodeo; three babies and who knows how many Paps later, I felt like an expert at that point.
You were sitting there in the waiting room too, your man’s arm around you, giddily holding up the rolls of black and white pictures you just had taken of the baby inside of your womb. You oohed and ahhed, counting tiny toes and little fingers, trying to figure out whose profile hers resembled more, yours or his.
And as I sat there and watched the joy ooze out of you, I wanted to run over, grab your hands, and tell you all of the things that were racing through my mind. Things the world tried to tell me were true, but ultimately weren’t the truth.
They say, “Just you wait, everything is about to change!”
“Enjoy your moments now, your body will shift, your marriage will be challenged, your time to be selfish will be gone and things will never be the same again with a baby! Just you wait . . .”
And while those things may hold some truth, I have to disagree.
Because just you wait . . .
You will see those two pink lines on the stick and instantly fall in love, clinging to the hope of new life inside of you . . .
And just you wait . . .
You will hear her heart beat, feel her kick for the first time, and see a glimpse of her tiny face on the screen and you will feel like you couldn’t love her any more.
But just you wait . . .
The doctor will lay her on your chest. Half of him, half of you, and a part of your heart that you never knew was there will be instantly overflowing with love. Fierce, unwavering love. And you will wonder how you ever lived without her.
But just you wait . . .
You will watch your husband become a father. You will witness his heart soften and watch him delight in his daughter day after day. You won’t believe how much more you will fall in love with him, but you do.
But just you wait . . .
She will learn to roll, crawl, walk, and talk and you never imagined you could be so proud of someone so small and that being called “Mama” would ever sound so sweet.
And just you wait . . .
You will learn that you are strong; stronger than you ever knew. You will find your arms weak and your heart weary, but you will BASK in God’s mercy and grace with every new day. You will learn to cry out to Him like never before and His presence will never feel more near or real.
But just you wait . . .
One day she will ask you about Him, the one who formed her in your womb, the same one who suffered and conquered the grave for your daughter’s precious heart. She will ask you about Jesus. And you will tell her of His great love for her and teach her about His perfect truth.
And that is what you have been waiting for, what you were created to do. That is why you have been chosen to be her mom.
But just you wait, mama . . . you are about to find it all out for yourself.
This article originally appeared on From Blacktop to Dirt Road
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