I compared you the other day to my friend’s husband who is unusually chivalrous. His eyes are often locked on her every move, and he’s highly engaged and aware of her safety. He opens all the doors for her and surprises her with the most heartfelt, personalized gifts just because.

And I thought to myself, Why don’t you do that for me? 

A bitter root grew in my heart as if you owed me something. Like you didn’t love me the way he loves her. I threw a pity party and questioned our relationship. 

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I was foolish. Tempted to dwell on some things you don’t do instead of all the amazing things you do for me day in and day out. I doubted your love for mewhen the truth is, you’re wild about me.

You’re determined to love me as best as you know how.

You show love in different ways like changing the tires and oil in my Suburban, managing finances and making sure we’re debt-free, prioritizing sexual intimacy, engaging with our children and putting them to bed, cooking for us after a long day, praying with me at bedtime, cuddling on the couch even when I’m grouchy, showering me with practical gifts, and so much more.

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You show me love all the time. Sometimes I’m so familiar with it, I forget. I take it for granted.

And those areas that aren’t your strong suit? I’ll be better about encouraging you without nagging. I’ll take a deep, hard look at myself and where I need to change. I don’t always meet your expectations, either. I lack certain gifts and abilities, and sometimes I don’t do what you want to do because I’m selfish. 

It’s far too easy to look at the speck in your eye and not see the big log in my own. 

Love isn’t about what I receive and gain from you anyway. It’s about giving sacrificially to you, no matter what.

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I don’t always see reality correctly and often I’m only seeing half the story in the life of another person. Every marriage and relationship has challenges and looks different.

Will you forgive me for comparing you to someone you’re simply not? I’ll keep learning to love you just the way you are because I don’t want to love anyone else except the person God made you.

And how He made you is perfect. 

Marriage takes work. Thankfully, there’s an app that can help! Lasting—the nation’s #1 relationship counseling app—provides accessible sessions designed to help you build a healthy marriage. Download and take Lasting’s free Relationship Health Assessment.

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Samantha Krieger

Samantha Krieger is wife to Jeremiah and mama to 2 boys & 2 girls- 13 and under. She loves iced coffee, TJ Maxx, and mascara. She's the author of Quiet Time: A 30-day Devotional Retreat for Moms in the Trenches. Her work has been featured on the Today Show online, Love What Matters, and Cafe Mom. She writes from Florida’s gulf coast and enjoys connecting with readers on her personal blogFacebook and Instagram.