I recently lost my wedding ring. My husband got very upset about this because about eight years ago, I lost my engagement ring. I always thought it would turn up, but it never did.

This time, I had taken my ring off to cook. I put it on top of my daily medication, which ensured I would remember it later. But when I went to look, it was gone. I was brokenhearted, and my husband said, “AGAIN??”

RELATED: How To Honor Your Husband

That wedding band was a replacement ring we had crafted only a few years earlier after I grew allergic to my original band. We used some jewelry I didn’t wear anymore and had a jeweler craft a new design for me.

It’s just stuff, just the enemy pushing on the rock of our marriage, but I could tell my husband was offended that I lost this ring, so I prayed and prayed. Piece by piece, I went through an entire bag of garbage, crumb by crumb. No dice.

I spent a day trying to figure out where my daughter might have put it. I remembered she puts things into my purses, and I dumped two of my purses out very carefully.

Zilch. Nothing.

It wasn’t until I was in bed that night when I realized I had never checked the purse I take to the gym. My daughter had never put things in this bag, but as soon as I thought of it, I had to check. I cautiously dumped my little black purse out on the table . . . and there it was!

This had me thinking about the things we lose: those we find and those gone forever.

RELATED: Dear Husband, Fall Back in Love With Me

My engagement ring was costly, and it took a long time to get it just to my specs, but I will never again see it as a symbol of a someday promise.

My wedding band, on the other hand, was cobbled together from jewelry I did not wear into something I’m comfortable with everywhere and doesn’t make me itch, and it was found in a day. It’s a symbol of my most precious relationshipmy marriage to Chris.

Shortly after this, we were faced with the most difficult crisis our marriage has ever seen. Despite emotions running high, I remembered the incident with my ring. God was asking me, “Are you willing to fight for this marriage?”

I knew it would take sacrifice. I knew it would be painful. I knew it would be difficult.

RELATED: Dear Husband, Even When Our Marriage Feels Hard, I Am With You

But I also knew this was what God wantedto move past the marriage that had become irritating, corrosive, and problematic so He could craft a new, better, union between me and my husband.

God is in the business of making all things new again. So I put my trust in Him and worked through the issues.

Today, we are on the road to a bright, new beginning.

We all lose things: stuff, jobs, people, even homes. But maybe we should see those losses as opportunities to prioritize our values. Maybe that person wasn’t good for you. Maybe you didn’t need that possession.

Or maybe, that’s the thing so precious to you, you’d sort through a nasty bag of garbage in the middle of the night and get down on your knees, asking God to help you save it.

This takes wisdom, maturity, and the ability to honestly look at who–and what–is important in our lives. What door is God pushing you toward? The long goodbye or the one that says, “This is what I’ll fight for.”

Previously published on the author’s Facebook page

Marriage takes work. Thankfully, there’s an app that can help! Lasting—the nation’s #1 relationship counseling app—provides accessible sessions designed to help you build a healthy marriage. Download and take Lasting’s free Relationship Health Assessment.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Gina Badalaty

Gina is a long-time blogger at EmbracingImperfect.com where she writes about parenting kids with disabilities, and she is a freelance writer for Natural Living Family. She is passionate about Jesus, holistic living, and advocating for children with Down syndrome and on the autism spectrum. She lives in PA with her husband of over 20 years, her two teenage daughters, and their cat, Bello.

You Came between Us

In: Marriage, Motherhood
Toddler between mom and dad under sheet

Right in the middle of our deepest love, you came—just between us. A silent, unseen surprise. A mysterious miracle of incarnated love and joy. From that sacred moment that we couldn’t imagine being any sweeter, came you. Sometime in the middle of all the daily goodbye hugs, my stomach began to grow and you came between us. This beautiful bundle of life blossoming right inside of me. And we were in awe of every single tiny formation of you. In awe of who you were, excited by who you’d be, in awe that you were ours. You came between us...

Keep Reading

To My Wife: I See Your Sacrifice

In: Marriage, Motherhood
Family of 3 sitting on floor together at home

Selfless. No other word more clearly depicts your commitment to your family. Motherhood is drastically different than you dreamed of your whole life—the dreams of what sort of mama you would be, of how much you would enjoy being a mother even on the tough days. Since day one of our relationship, you’ve been selfless. Since day one of being a mama, you’ve been selfless. Your love for your family shines through on the brightest and darkest days. But on the dark days, it shines the brightest. I can’t count the hours of sleep sacrificed, the tears cried, the time...

Keep Reading

If You’re Fighting for Your Marriage Right Now, Keep Going

In: Marriage
Couple embracing with worried look on woman's face

My husband and I just celebrated 20 years of marriage last week. For the first five years of our marriage, we had no kids. We now have six. We have been through multiple moves, job changes, pregnancies, miscarriage, child loss, the death of loved ones, grief, three adoptions, mental illness etc. I see marriage totally differently than I did 20 years ago.  I believe, above everything, it takes two people willing to sacrifice and work hard (maybe one more than the other during different seasons) in order for the marriage to stay afloat. Marriage, if done right, does not puff one up...

Keep Reading

She Left Him on Valentine’s Day

In: Faith, Marriage
Husband kissing wife on cheek, color photo

“Can you believe that?” Those were the dreaded knife-cutting whispers I heard from across the table. I sunk deeper into my chair. My hopes fell as everyone would forever remember that I had left my fiancée on Valentine’s Day. Maybe one day it would just dissipate like the dream wedding I had planned or the canceled plane tickets for the Hawaiian honeymoon. Some bridesmaids and guests had already booked plane tickets. It was my own nightmare that kept replaying in my head over and over again. I had messed up. Big time. To be honest, if it made any difference,...

Keep Reading

“I Can’t Do This Anymore,” He Said—Then Everything Changed

In: Living, Marriage
Woman with head in hands

The questions are very much valid. Did I know when I married him? Did I know when we struggled with infertility and trying to become parents? Did I know when we unexpectedly became pregnant with our second child? When did you know your husband was an alcoholic? The answer is simple yet so complex, I pretty much knew from the first year, yet I was in complete denial. When I met him, he was just my type—a bad boy with a bad reputation, yet so cute! On our third date or so, I saw how much he could drink and how...

Keep Reading

I Want More than Mediocre Love

In: Marriage
Man and woman holding hands facing away from each other, silhouette

It felt like an out-of-body experience as I watched my fingers type into the Google search bar, “Local divorce lawyers near me.” I just want to know my options. Yet, my heart pounded as realized I was halfway serious in considering a divorce. There was no betrayal, no abuse, no lying, or cheating. My husband was and is a good man. The truth was he did not do anything wrong, I was just convinced he was doing nothing right. We were in the thick of life with a new baby, and I was certain that the man I loved was...

Keep Reading

My Husband’s in Love with a Different Woman Now

In: Living, Marriage, Motherhood
Couple standing by Christmas decorations

He’s in love with a different woman now . . . I met my husband seven years ago. We got married and went on adventures. Went to some weddings and had a bunch of kids. Every Christmas party season, we would celebrate by going out to dinner . . . except this year that one dress didn’t fit. I had my husband try to zip it, and then my mom . . . there was no budging. I had been tiny, I had been heavy—sick and healthy. My weight had been a roller coaster always. But, this special dress had always...

Keep Reading

Did I Deserve My Husband’s Affair?

In: Marriage
Woman looking out window

When my husband left and ran off with a lady from his office, all of my friends and family bombarded me with one massive conclusion: Divorce him! You deserve better! Back then, I agreed. “Yes! I deserve way better than this!” And like a fast-moving train locked in place, my deserving something better became the fuel to cut him off. Then, as time wore on, I began to wonder, what exactly did I “deserve”? In the dictionary, “deserve” means “to have earned or to be given something because of the way you have behaved or the qualities you have.” Am I...

Keep Reading

I’ve Changed My Mind about Everything but You

In: Marriage
Husband and wife selfie in field of wildflowers, color photo

I’ve changed my mind about almost everything but you. When I was a little girl, I couldn’t pick my favorite Spice Girl. I loved Baby Spice, but was also a big fan of sports. So what about Sporty Spice? And all their outfits were so cool, I couldn’t make up my mind about which one I hoped to become one day. When I was in middle school, I’d eagerly await my bi-weekly orthodontist appointments just so I could pick a new band color for my braces. And within a day or two, I’d have already decided I hated them, and...

Keep Reading

Marriage is Not always Equal Effort

In: Marriage
Couple smiling on beach

I’m in the kitchen making dinner, swaying from one foot to the other to mitigate that third-trimester sciatica when I hear the click of your keys in the front door. The dog’s paws lose traction as he scurries to the door and our son stops what he’s doing to look up in anticipation. If our daughter wasn’t napping, she’d scurry to the front door too. For me, I feel my body relax and immense joy fills me up. My husband is home. But here’s what really awes me. The last week, he’s been commuting two hours one way for work-related...

Keep Reading