It all matters to a mama’s heart.

This morning we drove through a pick-up line to gather the remainder of my little boy’s belongings from his preschool and to get a final packet of school work for the year. His sweet teachers waved through the windows as they shared a few fun stories about bug collecting and snake sightings with my little guy.

This is a time when we should be getting ready to watch him joyfully stand on the little stage there at the church donned in cap and gown.

Instead, we’re waving through windows and saying goodbye.

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At his age, thankfully he doesn’t realize what he’s missing. He doesn’t remember his older sister graduating from pre-school, and our schools closed so many weeks ago now, that there had been no talk of graduation yet in his classroom. And I suppose this is best.

But it all matters to a mama’s heart.

I realize preschool graduation is a pretty small thing on life’s radar. I realize how blessed we are as a family and how there are much bigger things going on in the world, certainly much bigger disappointments than this.

In truth, a preschool graduation, or lack thereof, won’t matter at all in the grand scheme of his life. But still, I feel disappointed that I won’t see his sweet smile and shining blue eyes as he runs across the stage to shake his teacher’s hand.

And I think it’s natural to feel this way. Because from the moment we first heard the galloping heartbeat, or felt the first kick, or heard the first cry pierce the air, well . . . it all mattered.

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Because it all matters to a mama’s heart.

Every moment and every memory and every plan for the future.

Every wobbly smile and every bear hug.

Every single weed pulled by little fingers now proudly deemed a “flower.”

Every skinned knee and every high fever.

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Every disappointment and every celebration.

Every first step, first word, and first junior high dance.

Every text from our teens saying they’re on the way home and every call from our adult children just to say “hello.”

Every graduation whether preschool or college.

Every accomplishment no matter how small and every challenge no matter how difficult.

Every birthday candle, every laugh, and every tear.

Every high five, every giggle, and every “good night.”

Yes, it matters . . . 

Because it all matters to a mama’s heart.

Originally published on No Mama’s Perfect