Our Keepsake Journal is Here! 🎉

Dear older and wiser women,

I know younger women can be scary. Sometimes we come across as know-it-alls with all of our independence, and opinions, and apps, and parenting philosophies.

But we don’t know what we’re doing.

We are lost and we need you, especially since many of us, in our insatiable drive for independence, moved far away from our mothers and grandmothers.

We are adrift as we strive to cobble together a definition of womanhood, or what it means to be a wife or a mother.

We need the wisdom of women who have gone before us. Your wisdom.

We need your stories . . . like the time you lost your toddler at the fair and when you found him a frantic 27 minutes later, he was eating cotton candy at the firefighter tent. Tell us how you burst into tears and hugged him so tight that all the slobbery cotton candy got stuck in your hair.

We need to know when we lose our kid in Target that we are not bad moms, and that when we feel lost, we can find ourselves again, too.

Tell us about the early years with your husband, and the middle years too, when you struggled to love each other as you raised your kids, or as you walked through infertility together.

Share the hard-won wisdom from the rocky years or the sobering counsel that only a woman who has walked through a divorce can offer.

Tell us the real, honest-to-goodness, mouth dropping truth:

That you didn’t like being a mom until they all went to school.
That you hated breastfeeding.
That it’s OK to want to run away sometimes.

Tell us how you and a girlfriend wanted to start a Home For Runaway Moms. And we will laugh as we feel our fingers grip that lifeline and reel us in.

Your stories let us know that we are OK, that we’ll be OK, and that we’re not alone.

Teach us how to embrace our gray hair, our varicose veins, our laugh lines, and how to pick out the most fabulous shade of red lipstick.

Tell us about your depression, the dark years, and how you found light again in your life. Hug us, encourage us, take us by the shoulders, look us in the eye, and tell us it’s going to get better. Share your story. Help us light our candle by your flame.

Tell us the name of the baby you lost, at six weeks in your womb or six years in your arms. Welcome us to The Club with open arms, where the price of admittance is the death of a child, the death of a dream. Wipe our tears and tell us we don’t always have to be so strong, that you will be there to walk with us through the days, and months and years of our grief.

Teach us about our bodies, how to embrace our fertility and honor our hormones. Tell us about menopause (because seriously, who else will??).

Show us how to work hard and how to rest well.

Teach us to pray for our daily bread and to let go of all the worries that threaten to drown out the joy of our everyday moments. Tell us your story, of how the hard stuff—big or little, real or imagined—worked out for the best.

Teach us how to be strong, to be women of integrity, to love our families fiercely and to keep moving forward when we want to quit (or run away).

We’re young and, a lot of times, we think we know everything. But the truth is, we don’t. We may shun advice, but we will always listen to your stories. We’ll absorb them, think about them, and share them with our girlfriends. Your stories will shift our thinking, and help us grow up into our womanhood.

Please reach out and befriend us. We’re there, all around you: at the park, at the library, at church.

We seem busy and distracted but we need you. We need your wisdom, your perspective, your relationship.

Relationships take time, and we probably both need practice and patience to accept this. But oh—! When that friendship blooms, when the foundation of mentorship is laid, it makes both of our lives stronger and more beautiful.

Will you be our friends?

Love,
The tired and lost Millennial women of the 21st century

This post originally appeared on the author’s blog

You may also like:

To the Mom in the Trenches: Your Time is Coming

To Those Who Saved Me From Drowning in Motherhood, Thank You

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Brittany Meng

Brittany Meng is a military wife who lives in England with her husband, four sons, and baby daughter. She is the author of Unexpected: Learning to love your unpredictable story (2018). Her writing has been featured on Her View from Home, ScaryMommy, Coffee+Crumbs, For Every Mom, Her.Menutics, The Mighty and more. She writes about special needs, self-care, spiritual growth, and raising kids without losing your mind. Follow her on Facebook here.

There’s No One Who Gets It Like a Mom Friend

In: Friendship, Motherhood
Mom friends in the park with strollers

I made my first mom friend at six weeks postpartum. I was pushing our son in his brand-new stroller not yet stained by sunscreen or covered in cracker crumbs. My husband spotted her first, gesturing to a woman who looked my age pushing a similarly unblemished stroller with the same bleary-eyed look. “Go talk to her,” he encouraged, sensing what I was too tired to realize at the time, which was how badly I needed a friend who understood what I was going through. We hit it off immediately and discovered we lived just seven doors away from each other....

Keep Reading

She’s the Friend I Hope You Have

In: Friendship, Living
Two women smiling, selfie

Good friends are hard to come by. Life is busy and friendships take a backseat. I’ve never had a large circle of friends, there have always just been a few I’ve kept close. But the ones who stick around, the ones who stay with me when the waves of life are high and when the waves of life are pummeling me, those are the ones to treasure. You don’t talk every day. You don’t see one another every week. But she’s your go-to no matter what because . . . She’s the walk through the grocery store or an early...

Keep Reading

I’m Sorry I Let Our Friendship Fade Away

In: Friendship, Living, Motherhood
Lonely woman watching sunset sitting on swing

Do you ever find yourself reminiscing, longing for the simplicity of youth and the bonds of friendship that once defined your life? For me, those memories often take me back to our college residence hall days when laughter was abundant and friendships were unbreakable. This is a story of regret, redemption, and the enduring power of friendship—a journey that spans decades and explores the depths of human connection. Our residence hall was more than just a place to sleep; it was our sanctuary, our haven of friendship and fellowship. From late-night chats to impromptu adventures, every moment was a treasure,...

Keep Reading

Not Sure If She’ll Join Your Girls Night Out? Invite Her Anyway.

In: Friendship, Living
Woman looking at phone in evening at home

Who doesn’t love dinner out with friends? Maybe some tacos with a slice of cheesecake at the end with lots of laughter and witty or heartfelt conversation. It’s the best. But I’m going to point out something you may not realize. There are people out there you are forgetting to include, and it’s probably not on purpose. You know your really good friend who’s divorced? When you went out for a group couples dinner, did you think to invite her? What about your other friend whose husband is gone for several months on business and who both usually join your...

Keep Reading

Be the Friend Who Meets You In Your Mess

In: Friendship, Living
Two mothers push strollers outside

Be the friend who doesn’t look at the baseboards, the friend who overlooks the dirt. Be the friend who comes to sit and chat at a messy counter still piled high with breakfast plates yet to be cleaned and junk mail yet to be sorted. Be the friend who explains to her husband every week that the extra $20 out of the budget went to a couple of sisters who needed a surprise coffee and a smile delivered to their door. Be the friend who sees your messy bun, unwashed face, and sweatpants and says, “Girl, you look cute,” and...

Keep Reading

Having Kids Shows Who Your Real Friends Are

In: Friendship, Motherhood
Mother and child walking through forest, color photo

Any mom, typical or special needs, will tell you having kids is the fastest way to tell who your real friends are. When your child is born with special needs this process becomes even more severe and obvious. At first, people visit and want to hold the baby, but once the delays kick in slowly people start to pull away. Disability makes them uncomfortable. That’s the truth. They hope you won’t notice, but you do. Honestly, most stop trying altogether. It’s not just friends who act this way either, sometimes it’s family too. That hurts the most. As a parent...

Keep Reading

Why Doesn’t Anyone Talk about How Hard Adult Friendships Are?

In: Friendship, Living
Woman sitting along on couch looking at smartphone

The scary thing about friendship is it’s completely disposable. You actively choose to remain friends. It can dissolve at any time. No one can force you into it. In marriage, you are bound to one another before God. As a parent, you have a familial obligation to your child. But friendship? That comes completely free and clear. You intentionally let them in, let them see your underbelly. Your messy house. Your imperfect marriage. Your rebellious children. Your weirdness, your quirks, your sin. And they can walk away at any moment. Oh, there are a few exceptions. Maybe you work together....

Keep Reading

The Last Text I Sent Said “I Love You”

In: Friendship, Grief, Living
Soldier in dress uniform, color photo

I’ve been saying “I love you” a lot recently. Not because I have been swept off my feet. Rather, out of a deep appreciation for the people in my life. My children, their significant others, and friends near and far. I have been blessed to keep many faithful friendships, despite the transitions we all experience throughout our lives.  Those from childhood, reunited high school classmates, children of my parent’s friends (who became like family), and those I met at college, through work and shared activities. While physical distance has challenged many of these relationships, cell phones, and Facebook have made...

Keep Reading

Friendship Looks Different Now That Our Kids Are Older

In: Friendship, Living, Motherhood
Two women and their teen daughters, color photo

When my kids were young and still in diapers, my friends and I used to meet up at Chick-fil-A for play dates. Our main goal was to maintain our sanity while our kids played in the play area. We’d discuss life, marriage, challenges, sleep deprivation, mom guilt, and potty-training woes. We frequently scheduled outings to prevent ourselves from going insane while staying at home. We’d take a stroll around the mall together, pushing our bulky strollers and carrying diaper bags. Our first stop was always the coffee shop where we’d order a latte (extra espresso shot) and set it in...

Keep Reading

Give Me Friends for Real Life

In: Friendship, Living
Two friends standing at ocean's edge with arms around each other

Give me friends who see the good. Friends who enter my home and feel the warmth and love while overlooking the mess and clutter. Give me friends who pick up the phone or call back. The friends who make time to invest in our relationship.  Give me friends who are real. The friends who share the good, the beautiful, the hard, the messy, and are honest about it all. Give me friends who speak the truth. The friends who say the hard things with love. RELATED: Life is Too Short for Fake Cheese and Fake Friends Give me friends who show up. The friends who...

Keep Reading