To the woman who is struggling with infertility. To the woman who is staring at another pregnancy test with your flashlight or holding it up in the light, praying so hard that there will be even the faintest line. To the woman whose period showed up right on time. To the woman who is just ready to quit.
I don’t know the details of your story. I don’t know what doctors have told you. I don’t know how long you have been trying. I don’t know how many tears you have shed. I don’t know if you have lost a pregnancy. I simply just do not know. But what I do know is this:
The pain of longing to become a mother and it seeming like it will never happen is heartbreaking. The anger you have not only at your body, but even sometimes at God, is all-consuming.
The amount of money that has been poured into doctor’s appointments, lab work, tests, medications, and procedures feels like a financial burden that you honestly shouldn’t have to face.
The “words of encouragement” from others that actually aren’t even remotely close to encouraging at all are painful. Or, if you choose to keep your journey to yourself, the loneliness you feel is actually deafening.
The feeling of guilt consumes you, it has even made you pray for your marriage to come to an end because you feel like your husband shouldn’t have to go through this too.
Hearing about other women’s miracles can sometimes make you hopeful, but other times it just makes you doubt it will ever happen to you. Resentment can build.
I don’t know your story, but I do have my own, and I’m here to tell you everything you are feeling is okay. Give yourself grace for feeling the way you do. Be angry. Cry. Scream. Stay to yourself. Do whatever you need to do to process, but don’t forget to give yourself grace. You are literally walking in what feels like your own personal hell.
At the end of the day, yes you are a woman who is struggling with infertility, but also at the of every single day, you are a warrior. You are an overcomer. You have strength that should be praised even when you feel weak.
I can’t tell you how your story will end. However, I can tell you that every night when I bow my head, even though I don’t know your name, I pray for you. I pray for miracles. I pray for peace. I pray that God will give you a comfort like you have never known. And I pray that one day when your story has changed in whatever way God has planned, that you pray for everyone else, experiencing their own stories. I pray you will be a voice for those who aren’t ready to speak. I pray one day it will all make sense.
I will stand in faith and prayer for you when you feel like you can’t for yourself. You are worthy of blessings. You are strong. You are brave. You are beautiful.
Another woman with infertility
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).