I want to take a moment to share something close to my heart, something I wish everyone could understand—the immense difficulty moms face when it comes to asking for help. It seems quite simple, but in reality, it’s not. And in my opinion, it’s really hard, and I know I am not the only one. I can preach all day about how breaks and self-care are important, but when it comes to actually putting it in action, I struggle too. There are several reasons behind this struggle that I want to shed light on why moms find it hard to ask for help.
The supermom expectation. The pressure to be a “supermom” is real. Society often paints a picture of moms effortlessly handling everything without breaking a sweat. But let me tell you, behind closed doors, it’s a different story. We’re human beings with limitations and vulnerabilities. We try our best, but we can’t do it all alone. It’s hard to admit that we need help, and it’s even harder when we feel like we’re falling short of this unrealistic expectation.
Fear of judgment. The fear of judgment is another weight we carry on our shoulders. We worry that if we ask for help, we’ll be seen as incapable or not dedicated enough. It’s not that we don’t want help; it’s that we fear the potential criticism or judgment that may come with it. We need understanding, compassion, and support, not questioning glances or raised eyebrows. If we could all embrace a non-judgmental mindset and create a safe space for moms to ask for help, it would make a world of difference.
Struggling with control. Control is something we often sacrifice as moms. Our days are dictated by the needs and routines of our little ones. We’re constantly juggling multiple responsibilities, and finding time for ourselves seems impossible. It’s not that we don’t want a break; it’s that we struggle to find a moment where we feel comfortable letting go and allowing someone else to take the reins. We need assurance that our children will be cared for and that it’s okay to prioritize ourselves for a little while.
The weight of responsibility. Please understand that our sense of responsibility is immense. We feel an overwhelming duty to be the best moms we can be, often putting our own needs on the back burner. We want to ensure our children’s well-being and happiness, but we often forget that we need to take care of ourselves to fulfill that role effectively. It’s not that we don’t value ourselves or appreciate the privilege of motherhood; it’s that we sometimes struggle to create the balance between caring for our children and caring for ourselves.
Guilt and the fear of missing out. Lastly, the guilt we experience can be consuming. We love our children fiercely, and we don’t want to miss a single moment. We fear that by taking a break, we might somehow miss out or not fully appreciate the time we have with our little ones. Society often portrays the image of the selfless, sacrificial mom who always puts her children first. As a result, when we take a moment to focus on ourselves, guilt and self-doubt creep in. We begin to feel selfish for taking care of our own needs rather than our children’s. It’s not that we don’t want the help or to rest or recharge; it’s that we battle with guilt and the constant question of whether we’re doing enough.
Nurturing a community of understanding. So, my plea to everyone is this: Please understand that it’s not easy for moms to ask for help. It’s not a lack of desire or willingness to take care of ourselves; it’s a complex web of societal pressures, fear of judgment, loss of control, overwhelming responsibility, and deep love mixed with overpowering guilt. If we could all approach this topic with empathy, support, and understanding, we could create an environment where moms feel empowered to ask for help and take much-needed breaks without guilt or shame.
To all the moms out there, I see you, I understand you, and I’m here for you. Let’s stand together and work toward a world where asking for help is met with understanding, appreciation, and a helping hand. Because every mom deserves a moment of respite, knowing that she is valued and supported.
With love and understanding,
A mom who knows