I’ve read countless “Marry the Person Who . . .” articles. All have held truth. All have held beauty. However, after enduring the loss of my mother, grief made my list much different than the ones I’ve read. 

Grief taught me important components of relationships and love. Grief revealed new aspects of my husband’s love and support I never knew I needed but became so grateful to possess. Items I never had on any dating wishlist. Items that aren’t romantic or glamorous, but important and necessary. 

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Grief taught me to . . . 

Marry the person who becomes your lifeline when you’ve just lost yours.

Marry the person who doesn’t just take your breath away, but reminds you to breathe.

Marry the person who acknowledges your grief, your pain, and your sorrow with grace and love and compassion.

Marry the person who picks you up off the flooragain and againwiping your tears and working to erase your ache.

Marry the person who accepts your brokenness, your emptiness, and your journey to healing. 

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Marry the person who understands the unpredictability of loss and the complicated mind of the grieving.

Marry the person who holds you up when you feel like failing, who carries you when you can no longer walk, and who encourages you to keep stepping.

Marry the person who can look at your parents on their deathbeds and thank them for creating you, the love of his life.

Marry the person who can look at your parents on their deathbeds and promise to protect you, keep you safe, and love you fiercely, all the days of his life.

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Marry the person who acknowledges the important life lost, while also reminding you to keep living. 

Most of all, marry the person who will pick up your broken pieces and hold them carefully until the day you’re ready to take them back and build something beautiful from the heartbreak and brokenness. 

Originally published on the author’s blog

Chelsea Ohlemiller

Wife, mother, and educator who has Indiana roots and a passionate spirit. Chelsea is married to the love of her life, Justin. She’s the mother to three beautiful and spunky children. She has a deep love of teaching and has always enjoyed helping inspire students. She is a Ball State graduate but an Indiana University Hoosier at heart. Chelsea’s mother always encouraged her to write. In 2017, Chelsea's mother passed away. She decided to honor her mother's wishes and write. It was one of the best decisions she's ever made. Website: www.hopeandharshrealities.com Instagram Handle: hopeandharshrealities Facebook: @hopeandharshrealities