Pre-Order So God Made a Mother

“Oh, really?” 

“Are you sure?” 

“You can always try for a fourth!” 

“You just have to have one, they’re so fun!”

As a mom of two boys and our third on the way, I get mixed reactions. This is something I knew would happen. I already practiced my response. I’d like to just take a moment to share some gentle words from the heart of a mama with babies of all the same gender. 

RELATED: No, We’re Not Trying For a Girl

Let me first acknowledge that these responses are not meant to be hurtful, but as my bump continues to swell and people ask if I finally got my girl, I realize people must think that for me to have a complete family, I must have one. 

God entrusted me with three sweet, beautiful baby boys, and that is what He has called me to bea boy mom.

And I embrace it at every corner. Every rough-and-tough, loud, and sticky-fingered corner. 

So no, I won’t be trading our bow ties for bows, or our suspenders and ties for tutus and tiaras. I’m more than OK cleaning up dirt and grime rather than glitter. My conversations will continue to center around poop and explosions, tractors, and bugs. 

RELATED: Life As a Boy Mom Suits Me Perfectly

My living room will forever be filled with wrestling matches and crumbs embedded into the carpet. I will likely not own any nice vases or lamps in the near future. And forget about any kind of beautiful, white, fluffy throws or light-colored couches. But, would I trade that for anything? No. 

Would I have been disappointed if I was expecting a girl? Also, no.

When my husband and I tried for our third baby, we tried for just that. A baby. A sweet, perfectly created squish to snuggle and raise with the same amount of love and guidance regardless of gender

RELATED: I Was Made To Be a Boy Mom and I Wouldn’t Want it Any Other Way

If you see a mom or dad of all boys or all girls, don’t feel bad for them. And do not, I’ll repeat this for emphasis, do not make comments unless it’s that of expressing joy and blessings. You see, to us, it’s not “a bummer” or “too bad” we aren’t having otherwise. We feel blessed to be able to have babies of our own. A reality that many women and moms do not face. 

And if you are a mama who chooses to be done after having babies of all the same gender without trying just one more time for the other, that is more than OK.

It is admirable. Admirable for knowing your family looks just the way it does for a reason and there is no pressure or guilt otherwise. Admirable for seeing your family as complete and not in any way less. You are filled with love and wisdom to pass onto a baby or child of a gender you already have experience in. And what an advantage that is! 

I gracefully accept what the Lord has in store for me, my husband, and my boys. And I’m brimming with excitement to welcome a third into our family. 

Forever grateful to be a boy mom. 

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available for pre-order now!

Pre-Order Now

Jordan Pederson

A wife and mama embracing her imperfect happiness.

Worrying Is Part of the Job

In: Baby, Motherhood
Woman's hands holding baby head

My baby girl is four. How did four years go so fast? It blows my mind how much children develop in a short amount of time. One day they can’t lift their heads and then suddenly they’re shouting, “Go away, Mommy!” Lucy is my rainbow baby. She was born on a Wednesday evening in October. Our first day with her, we rested and gazed at our little creation. At midnight on Friday, we sent Lucy to the nursery so I could rest. At 2 a.m. a doctor rushed in. He flicked on the lights. Our tired eyes were blinded. “Lucy...

Keep Reading

I’m Sorry It Didn’t Come Naturally

In: Baby, Motherhood
Mother holding newborn in hospital, color photo

I should have spent every waking moment with you. I should have been right there by your side through every difficult and challenging moment you faced. I should have moved hell and high water to make sure I was there. But I didn’t. And I should have. I’m sorry the first days of your precious little life were filled with strangers and wires and loud noises. I’m sorry you were being poked and prodded from the moment you finally opened those little eyes. I’m sorry that the angel nurses of the NICU were there for you when your mommy should...

Keep Reading

Dear Sophia’s Mama

In: Baby, Motherhood
Baby in isolette inside NICU

I think about you often. I noticed you on our second day in the NICU. I was in the hallway in front of your daughters’ room speaking with our nurse. You looked up from your chair and tried to smile. As I walked away, I looked at the nameplate on the door. Sophia. From where the rocking chair was in our room, I could see out our door to Sophia’s room. Over the next few days, I noticed your daughter’s door proudly displayed several milestones. “Off ventilator” and “first-time mommy held you” made me realize you were seasoned here. Your...

Keep Reading

The End of Maternity Leave Makes a Mother’s Heart Ache

In: Baby, Motherhood
Mother holding infant on shoulder

As my last week of maternity leave begins, my heart feels heavier and heavier in my chest. I can’t fall asleep at night for fear that I haven’t fully appreciated this time with my sweet baby girl. I know plenty of moms who find joy in returning to their old routines. Mamas who feel peace in knowing they can unlock a part of themselves they haven’t used in 12 weeks.  As for me, I’m filled with an anxiety I’ve never felt before. I’ve waited my whole life to be someone’s mama. I’m doing it for the first time, and while...

Keep Reading

Hyper-what? The Toll of Hyperemesis Gravidarum

In: Baby, Motherhood
woman with morning sickness in bathroom

Hyperemesis Gravidarum. Hyper-what? It sounded like some fancy medical diagnosis that would never touch my life, but . . . alas, here I am several months deep. I remember briefly hearing about Kate Middleton’s battle with it, but I never thought it would affect my own life, especially after having four prior uncomplicated pregnancies and births. I want to share my personal story because I’ve been lucky enough to find a few fellow moms who shared their stories with me. Without the help of those who had experienced the diagnosis, been transparent about it, and made it out on the...

Keep Reading

Time Moves a Little Faster with You, My Last Baby

In: Baby, Motherhood, Toddler
Woman hugging toddler

Something about that last bottle of formula I made, it makes me wonder where did this last year go? I feel like I just brought you home from the hospital. In the middle of a pandemic. We had no visitors like we did with your brothers. No cards, no flowers, just me, you, and daddy. Those 2.5 days flew, and we were on our way home. Time moves a little faster with you. You’re our last baby, and I am about to make the last bottle of formula for you, the last everything. It all hits me at once. This...

Keep Reading

I Carry the Baby I Lost In My Heart

In: Baby, Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Early sonogram image of baby

I ignored it at first, the pink on the tissue. It wasn’t anything to worry about. I’d known for three weeks at this point that I was expecting baby number three, and I was still giddy about it. In fact, I had just shared my news with people at work and told them when I was due.  I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face.  So, when I visited the bathroom, I ignored it.  Two healthy textbook pregnancies and births, why would this be any different?  But, looking back, there was a little nagging voice at the back of my...

Keep Reading

Don’t Fear the Gap

In: Baby, Kids, Motherhood
Baby lying on mother's chest, black-and-white photo

I was afraid of the gap. You know, the one where you have some kids and then wait several years to have another? That gap. When we moved here, we kept all the baby things because we weren’t ready to say we were done but weren’t ready to start over. Moving to the farm brought wayyy more chores than our neighborhood home and adding a tiny human to that mix felt a bit crazy. RELATED: I’ll Always Want Another Baby There were months of back and forth . . . talk of barefoot baby feet stomping all over this place...

Keep Reading

Having a Late Preterm Baby Is Hard Too

In: Baby, Motherhood
Mother holding infant, color photo

I see you, mama, who holds her breath while they bag your brand-new baby. Asking “is she okay?” and being met with “everything is fine” when you know that everything is not fine. The baby who was due in just a few weeks. The baby, who just a few hours earlier, you joked “wanted to surprise us early.” The baby who was fine on the monitors just minutes before. I see you, mama, when they tell you they are transporting your baby to the NICU. The baby you held for five minutes before they took her to the nursery for...

Keep Reading

Dear Loss Mom, Grieve Your Baby In Heaven Without Guilt

In: Baby, Grief, Loss

My third baby was due on October 19, 2019. Instead, she was born into heaven on March 24, 2019. Not only do I grieve her more in October than in other months because of her due date, but I also grieve for so many other parents who have also lost their children.  RELATED: A Letter To My Mama From Your Baby In Heaven Pregnancy loss is such a strange journey to walk through. I’m years into it, and there are still days when the grief hits and the tears come and I can’t breathe. On other days, I am so...

Keep Reading