Who Were You Before?

Our Keepsake Journal is Here! 🎉

Who were you before?

Back then?
Before the lines, before the aches, before time took your strength away?

Who were you?

I saw you today.

I reckon that was your granddaughter skipping beside you and your daughter beside her. Because of how you looked at them both repeatedly, regardless of if they were looking or not.

You love them.

You were looking.

Your walk was tired, old, sore.

Your spirit wasn’t.

RELATED: The Gift and Beauty of an Aging Body

I could see on your face the stories you might tell.

You had a cheeky, loving, and humble look in your smile.

It got me thinking.

Who were you?

Before now.
Back then.
Back when you walked as a 20-something-year-old.

I would have asked you if I wasn’t sitting in the nail salon complaining about how my life is sooo hard because I had the smallest inconvenience today.

And I needed a reminder that I’m lucky.

I’m lucky to be walking in the body of a 20-something.
And every day is a blessing.

Because one day, the days will catch up.
One day I may look at my child the way you looked at her today.

RELATED: I Pray You Remember the Best of Me

I wonder . . .
Were you a goody two shoes?
Did you like to sew and paint?

Did you have a fairytale marriage?
Probably like the one your daughter describes being raised within.

Did they describe you as a total babe?
Did they say she is a total angel?

Did you go through pain as a result of someone else’s?

Were you happy?

Were you loved?

I’m sorry to say it like you’re gone because you aren’t—you were right there today.

But I know, regardless of age, you might not be here tomorrow.
All of us might not be.

RELATED: 13 Nuggets of Wisdom From Middle Age

So you, beautiful old lady, walking through the shops today, was it good?
Did you enjoy your time?
I hope so my love.

I saw you catch me looking. I saw you wink. And you can bet I won’t waste it, girlfriend.

Originally published on the author’s

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now

So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Her View Shop

Lucy Watts

Lucy Watts is a writer from Perth. A mother of three and an autism advocate. Sharing pieces of her life through font.

Be the Friend Who Meets You In Your Mess

In: Friendship, Living

Be the friend who doesn’t look at the baseboards, the friend who overlooks the dirt. Be the friend who comes to sit and chat at a messy counter still piled high with breakfast plates yet to be cleaned and junk mail yet to be sorted. Be the friend who explains to her husband every week that the extra $20 out of the budget went to a couple of sisters who needed a surprise coffee and a smile delivered to their door. Be the friend who sees your messy bun, unwashed face, and sweatpants and says, “Girl, you look cute,” and...

Keep Reading

Do They Notice My Self-Doubt as a Working Mom?

In: Living, Motherhood

Woman taking a selfie in a bathroom mirror holding a coffee cup

At the office, I forget yet another small detail. Later, I am asked a simple question, something I should know the answer to, and I respond with “I don’t know” because it didn’t even occur to me to have that information on hand. I feel incapable of planning much ahead and insecure about my ability to read through the fine print. Another day of work is missed to be home with a sick baby, it’s been a difficult winter with illness striking our home, including a round of influenza for me. Meetings I was supposed to lead are covered by...

Keep Reading

Hello from the Other Side of 40

In: Living

Woman holding up 4 and 3 fingers on her hands

Facing 40 birthday candles? Let me tell you why your future is even brighter than those birthday cake flames, but first, I’ll also tell you—I get the big deal about turning 40. Facing that lofty milestone wasn’t fun for me. The dread started early when I was a young 37, and a sibling turned 40. I’m next! I realized, and I pouted and whined at the thought for the next three years. All of that bad behavior couldn’t keep me in my 30s though, and honestly, it left me a little embarrassed. Though this earthly tent is showing obvious signs...

Keep Reading

Having Kids Shows Who Your Real Friends Are

In: Friendship, Motherhood

Mother and child walking through forest, color photo

Any mom, typical or special needs, will tell you having kids is the fastest way to tell who your real friends are. When your child is born with special needs this process becomes even more severe and obvious. At first, people visit and want to hold the baby, but once the delays kick in slowly people start to pull away. Disability makes them uncomfortable. That’s the truth. They hope you won’t notice, but you do. Honestly, most stop trying altogether. It’s not just friends who act this way either, sometimes it’s family too. That hurts the most. As a parent...

Keep Reading

Why Doesn’t Anyone Talk about How Hard Adult Friendships Are?

In: Friendship, Living

Woman sitting along on couch looking at smartphone

The scary thing about friendship is it’s completely disposable. You actively choose to remain friends. It can dissolve at any time. No one can force you into it. In marriage, you are bound to one another before God. As a parent, you have a familial obligation to your child. But friendship? That comes completely free and clear. You intentionally let them in, let them see your underbelly. Your messy house. Your imperfect marriage. Your rebellious children. Your weirdness, your quirks, your sin. And they can walk away at any moment. Oh, there are a few exceptions. Maybe you work together....

Keep Reading

The Last Text I Sent Said “I Love You”

In: Friendship, Grief, Living

I’ve been saying “I love you” a lot recently. Not because I have been swept off my feet. Rather, out of a deep appreciation for the people in my life. My children, their significant others, and friends near and far. I have been blessed to keep many faithful friendships, despite the transitions we all experience throughout our lives. Those from childhood, reunited high school classmates, children of my parent’s friends (who became like family), and those I met at college, through work and shared activities. While physical distance has challenged many of these relationships, cell phones, and Facebook have made...

Keep Reading

Being a Hands-on Dad Matters

In: Kids, Living

I am a hands-on dad. I take pride in spending time with my kids. Last week I took my toddler to the park. He’s two and has recently outgrown peek-a-boo, but nothing gets him laughing like him seeing me pop into the slide to scare him as he goes down. He grew to like this so much that he actually would not go down the slide unless he saw me in his range of vision going down. When it’s time to walk in the parking lot he knows to hold my hand, and he grabs my hand instinctively when he needs help...

Keep Reading

Finding My Confidence in Learning to Enjoy Exercise

In: Living

This picture is of me, noticeably overweight, attending a silks class. This is something I’ve always wanted to do, but I looked noticeably out of place in my XL frame, compared with the other women in their size two Lululemon leggings. At one point, before we began, I actually quietly asked the instructor if there was a weight limit. She reassured me that people a lot heavier than me had hung from their ceiling on those silks. Before we started hanging from the ceiling, the instructor had us all sit in a circle and introduce ourselves and our goal for...

Keep Reading

Dear Mom, Until We Meet Again

In: Grown Children, Living

Daughter hugs elderly mother from behind outside

Mom, I pray to the stars that someday, somewhere we pick up where we left off. Before the Alzheimer’s diagnosis. Before your life, my life, and our family’s life changed forever. If we meet again, will you appear just as I remember you before this awful disease took over? With ebony black hair, vibrant blue eyes, and a gracious smile. Will you look at me and know I am your daughter? Will you refer to me by my beloved childhood nickname? RELATED: The One Thing Alzheimer’s Cannot Take Away Will you embrace me in a warm hug and tell me...

Keep Reading

Somewhere Between Wife and Mom, There Is a Woman

In: Living, Motherhood

Sometimes, it’s hard to remember there is a woman behind the mom. At home, you feel caught between two worlds. Mom world and wife world. Sometimes it’s hard to balance both. We don’t exactly feel sexy in our leggings and messy mom bun. We don’t feel sexy at the end of the day when we are mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted from being a mom all day. The truth is we want to feel like ourselves again. We just aren’t sure where we fit in anymore. RELATED: I Fear I’ve Lost Myself To Motherhood We know the kids only stay...

Keep Reading

Dear Holiday Season, We Need You This Year More Than Ever

Motherhood

Dear Holiday Season, We Need You This Year More Than Ever

Mother Teresa Said Love People Anyway (Even in 2020)

Living

You were looking.

And I needed a reminder that I’m lucky.

Did you go through pain as a result of someone else’s?

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Her View Shop

Be the Friend Who Meets You In Your Mess

Do They Notice My Self-Doubt as a Working Mom?

Hello from the Other Side of 40

Having Kids Shows Who Your Real Friends Are

Why Doesn’t Anyone Talk about How Hard Adult Friendships Are?

The Last Text I Sent Said “I Love You”

Being a Hands-on Dad Matters

Finding My Confidence in Learning to Enjoy Exercise

Dear Mom, Until We Meet Again

Somewhere Between Wife and Mom, There Is a Woman

Previous Post

Next Post

You May Also Like