What is Faith When You Lose a Child?

“To have faith is to be sure of the things we hope for, to be certain of the things we cannot see” (Hebrews 11:1).

“We live by faith, not by sight” (2 Corinthians 5:7).

Regardless of which scripture you are familiar with, these verses are both talking about faith and something we either have, think we have, or have no idea what it is. Faith sounds like something that appears to be real and of substance but yet not seen. It can be very confusing. We can have faith as small as a mustard seed that moves mountains as it speaks of in Matthew 17:20: “You don’t have enough faith. Jesus told them, ‘I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you,’” 

But what is faith?

Well, for me faith is the unseen, unheard of, unexplainable, life-changing experience that only God can help me through. Yes, that is a person I have never met, or seen, or spoken to, but it is a person who I just know is there to help me regardless of how many times I fall. 

Faith is trusting. 

Trusting that no matter the situation good or bad my God will be there for me. I will never forget that beautiful, calm night on August 23, 2013. That was the night my trust in God was tested. My middle son, Tyler, went out with friends for 30 minutes but never returned home. He was only a mile from our house when the driver lost control on our country road and Tyler didn’t make it. I remember walking home with my husband early in the morning after the accident. As we were talking he asked me, “Why did this happen to us?” I’m sure it was God speaking confidently and quickly as I said, “Why not us? Who are we to not have this happening?” I truly believe God has a bigger plan for our life, our family, or possibly other people’s lives through Tyler’s accident. 

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Faith is the unseen.

God shows us he is in control in so many ways. The second day after the accident, God tested my faith again. I can remember rushing outside gasping for air worrying Tyler felt alone and scared the night of the accident. I felt helpless that I was not with him to protect or help him as the car was speeding out of control and being tossed end over end between the trees. Later that day, God confirmed that Tyler was OK. Our friend told me he was not able to sleep the night of Tyler’s accident and knew he was to write me this note. In the note, he confirmed that Tyler was not alone that night. He went on to say God shows those people in their last moments a movie of all the good things in their life. If they are a good person their movie plays longer. It is through my faith that I know God was with Tyler that night.

Faith is the unheard of.

I have had many God things happened since Tyler’s accident to solidify my faith. But, the next one there is no explanation for except it was God. It happened the night of the accident. I had been sitting by Tyler holding his head as something unexplainable lifted me up from where I sat on the country road. I can remember a gentle breeze blowing, with the full moon brightly shining on my face as I rose. I took a few steps to the middle of the road looked in the direction of the big harvest moon, closed my eyes, and felt the semi-warm breeze blow on my face. Then I heard a voice say, “Everything is going to be OK. You are going to get through this.” When I opened my eyes there was no one around me, yet the voice was so loud and clear confirming that yes, we were going to be OK. I do not know if that voice was my son, God, the Holy Spirit, or just me going crazy. But, the words I heard were the words Tyler would often tell me when I was upset. 

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Faith is the unexplainable.

Just like the scripture reads in Proverbs 3:5, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your path straight.” I can tell you regardless of what you think faith is or is not, faith is the only thing that continues to get me through each minute of each hour of each day of each year since Tyler’s accident. Faith is the unseen, unheard of, unexplainable, life-changing experience that only God can help me through. It is when I trust Him that nothing is impossible. 

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Articles by Missy Hillmer

Missy Hillmer

Missy Hillmer is a writer, photographer, wife, mother, creative lady whose mind is constantly on the go. She loves coffee, dark chocolate especially with nuts, music soothes her soul and being outside in the sun recharges her body. She has an angel in Heaven. Her faith is what gets her through each day. Since her son Tyler’s accident she is passionate about telling her story with the hope that it will help or inspire at least one person who has lost a child.